to trust or not to trust

[donq]

I often buy something from an online thrift store to save my money. I used to be cheated, say, just a few times out of many times. The sellers did not accept "cash on delivery," so I had to transfer my money to them first. Well, I did transfer, but I never got what I ordered.

Recently, I tried the "Facebook Marketplace". Well, I was cheated once out of two times and quit.

What I want to tell you is my spiritual mind always tells me to trust people, while my worldly (and doubtful) mind tells me not to. I think Robert (mojomojo) used to post something on this. We have to be careful, or someone might take advantage of us.


It seems both sellers and buyers cannot really trust each other: sellers are afraid that "cash on delivery" might waste their time (and money) as buyers might not be there to receive and pay for it. Buyers are afraid they might not get what they order after transferring their money.


I recall that there was a time (and Robert also said something about this), when people somewhere even didn't need to lock their doors!

[mojomojo]

Hi Monty,
It is a sad fact of life, that people seem to have become more and more isolated from one another.
At one time, I was hoping spiritual people could maybe some how show the way, but even some of these are only in it for money and fame.
Now, I’am of the opinion that something much larger, something outside of ourselves will have to happen, before people will pay attention, or change their ways.
Narcissism now seems to be widespread, people are only friendly when they need something from you.
I will give an example, a friend of mine whom I have known from the age of four, recently moved from Australia to France, allowing him to travel to Ireland regularly to visit his mother who is 94.
Why he did not move back to Ireland to help his mother more, I do not understand.
Every time he arrives at the airport in Dublin, Ireland, he expects to be picked up and driven to his destination, he also expects to be picked up and brought back to the airport, each trip is two hours.
The first few visits he stayed in my house and was fed, expecting also to be driven down to see his mother.
This carried on for a few trips, until I realised, this was not a friend coming to meet an old friend, but a narcissist who was saving himself money by having me pay for his transport, lodgings and meals, and to add insult to injury this man has done very well for himself in life, he has two properties in France, has retired at 60 and very well off.
Once he was refused to be picked up anymore, his true identity came through, his face was full of anger, bitterness and resentment.
I later learned he tried the same thing with another friend of ours who lived in Germany, that friendship also died, a cousin of his who lives in France helped him buy his first property, doing work on the house, so he could move in when arriving from Australia.
Within months that friendship had also died.
This seems to be the way with people these days, I could give many more examples, it also caused me to sit and think, why do I attract such people, is it me that is the problem?
A lot of people will see, spiritual people as weak and will only be interested in taking advantage, which means you have to project a more solid, stronger appearance.
Problem is when you have to entertain such defence over time you become more untrusting of people, you see the badness of people, this is the way you have to be to live in this world today.
I watched a you tube video once, of an old man giving advice to younger people, he spoke of an ideology, he stated an ideology is just an idea inside your head, it is not life.
That sentence had a profound impact on me, is that what we are trying to do, live an ideology.

[donq]

Hi Robert,


As for your friend, I believe it was about his conscience (the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one's conduct or motives, impelling one toward right action). I mean, his conscience seemed to be so low (if not having none). He didn't seem to know/care how other people think.


When I was a young man, went to law school, I visited a brothel once or twice without feeling guilty. My friends did that, why wouldn't I? However, after my conscience has been changed, I have never done that again all my life. I realized that those prostitutes did what they did just to feed their mouths (or even their kids' mouths). It had nothing to do with their lusts, as most men might think (imagine).

Once I read one of Rabindranath Tagore's short stories (cannot recall its title). Anyway, it was about a man who was alone with a beautiful woman on a very desert island. Nothing happened, because his conscience was so high...


Or another story:

A holy man gave two men each a chicken and said, “Go kill them where no one can see.” One guy went behind the fence and killed the chicken. The other guy walked around for two days and came back with the chicken. The holy man said, “You didn’t kill the chicken?” and the guys said, “well, everywhere I go, the chicken sees.”

I believe, the real reason might not about what chicken sees but what his conscience sees.


Say, because of spirituality, we develop our conscience more and more. The problem is, how to deal with someone who has low or even has no conscience (like your friend)? It seems we cannot change their conscience but we cannot change our conscience either!
Today I've got a phone call from a saleswoman, trying to sell me something. This was not the first time but many times. I used to tell them many times, after politely/patiently listening to them, that I was not interested. Today I didn't give her that chance and just told her I was not interested, then hang up. I felt a bit guilty after that. I knew she just tried to do her job. But somehow, I felt like she made me become a bad man. hahaha

Anyway, that old man (on youtube) was right. "An ideology is just an idea inside your head, it is not life".

Indeed!