Marriage

[techavenger]

I was studying this week and came across a line in Hebrews 13, verse 4 "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but sleepermongers and adulterers God will judge." I have always innately felt that a man and woman should be married, and even though it is rare to abstain from sex prior to marriage, that being the best plan. I do believe it is honorable for a man and woman to commit to one another and help carry one another through this life. I believe it builds a bond between the couple that no man should put asunder. I am interested in hearing the groups thoughts and of course how the concept of of a monogamous marriage fits inline with others beliefs.

[gruntal]

I am tempted to contrast later thoughts and teaching by the Christ and some of his apostles suggesting male - female relationships were a product of their times. Telling people not to act like animals is premature when they are just beginning to get their act together. The idea isn't to abandon your beginnings as it is to realize you have options to eventually go beyond them.

So everyone gets married for the sake of the children.

Except being a parent and/or good wife or husband may actually be very difficult for some of us. Sometimes it all seems like a charade. " Coming out of the closet " is all the rage now.

I am reminded of the story when a mother would clip the wings of her pet birds right in front of her daughter. So the birds could not fly away. The child asked sarcastically if her mother got clipped . Her mother said: "yes - the day you were born".

Yeah it is good to be loyal and faithful It reaffirms our vows. But realistically sometimes life is one mistake after another and as Hebrews 13 says you are even responsible for the mistakes you never committed.

[donq]

Hi Techavenger,

While most people (including some psychologists) don't think we can live without sex, some spiritual persons think we can.

(Though some extreme spiritual sects even believe that sex could bring you to nirvana.)

The cold fact is nature gives sex a good taste so that we can reproduce. Even Platonic love doesn't taste that good. That's it. But we interpret it so differently as we like. Along came homosexuality.

If you choose to live only in the worldly world, then at least you should stick to a monogamous marriage. (No need to say about polygamy here. We already know the idea was just from the world male leaders in those days). Why? Because it will be easier when you are ready to change to another finer taste.

Anyway, as Gruntal pointed out, it depends on where you are. And there's a serious spiritual warning on this, "don't try to be before you can really be". It's very dangerous if you pretend to be someone you are not ready to be yet.

Confucius said: “The petty man is not ashamed of being unkind, nor is he afraid of being unjust. If he does not see an advantage in something, he does not act, and, if he is not threatened by force, he is not chastised. For small matters one chastises him, so that for great matters he takes warning. This is how the petty man prospers.”

When, and only when, you honestly realize that there is other good taste than being the petty man, then it's time for you to try the finer taste, spirituality.

You said, "I do believe it is honorable for a man and woman to commit to one another and help carry one another through this life".
Yes, that's also the spiritual taste of Kalyāṇa-mittatā ("admirable friend).

Note-Kalyāṇa-mittatā is a Buddhist concept of "admirable friendship", applicable to both monastic and householder relationships. One involved in such a relationship is known as a "good friend", "virtuous friend", "noble friend" or "admirable friend".

[techavenger]

Thanks to Gruntal for the clipped anecdote, and to Donq for enlightening me on the Buddhist concept of Kalyāṇa-mittatā! 

I have always argued that the human race would wither as a whole if homosexuality was the standard. It seems to me to be a very basic, or even the most basic tenet of life, reproduction to further the species. Is not anything contrary to that indeed contrary to life?