doing good vs doing well

[donq]

I have lived a life as a chameleon for a long time. Why? To let you get the picture, for example, 20 years ago or so, I was in one of my favorites bookstores. I saw and heard a lady asking about some book to a sale person there. He didn't seem to understand (she asked in English). So I decided (even I somehow could guess in advance what would happen; got that a lot) to walk to them and helped. I even told her which shelf she could find the book (it was one of my favorite bookstores, so I kind of know which shelf and where to find it exactly). She looked so alarmingly at me and walked away without saying anything. The sale person seemed to understand what I was trying to do. He smiled at me with thanks. That was the reason why I've lived a life of a chameleon, pretending to be someone else, not me. Being the real me is always misunderstood and not so funny.

Sometimes, many times, helping people (without being asked first) turns out to be bad, right? And it takes time to learn NOT to do that. That said, I never succeed in learning to say no. I tried but always failed.

Someone said a young person is like a train, an old a car. The young has to go only straight forward on the wheel, as there are so many rules, and he doesn't' like it. The old can go anywhere, like a car, still he only tries to stick only to its wheel.
In other words, when we're getting old, and after a long time learning with many bitter experiences, we only try to doing well, not doing good. It's somehow good for us and the others.

[gruntal]

I have a "live in dog walker" and she might accompany on sales and at the casino. And of course at the food store for dog food and her beer. I can socialize with strangers when I am with her but alone I don't know how to even start. It's like I am not complete by myself.

I am reminded of the lion that was caged for resettlement. At it's new locale they opened the cage door and initially nothing happened. Cats - even big ones - like the have their liar and feel secure and don't want to leave.

When young we feel like it's a prison. When old it's our refuge.

[hera]

Thank you for your thoughts on this Donq and Gruntal.

Gruntal, for me it has been the opposite. When I was younger and married, we would socialise and he would be the one who could easily interact with others both when we were together and alone, but I would be comfortable being around others even though I took a back seat and stayed quiet.
Now I have been alone for 15 years and find myself more and more reclusive, to the point of being hermetic.
Sometimes it is extremely difficult and I crave company and at other times, yes, I am like the lion, here knowing that the door is open, but how to escape?

Possibly because it has become so habitual, that fear overrides the longing for something different?

I am definitely in prison

[donq]

Hmm...as I told you I've acted like a chameleon for a long time.

And you talked about a lion? Here's my thinking.

Yes, Purr-haps being a lion is Purr-fect. We all like a Cat-titude of Paw-er, don't we?

Un-fur-tunately, sometimes it means Cat-astrophe. It's Fur-real. And I'm not Kitten.

I become a chameleon because my lion did cross with a camel one day. Hence, it becomes a camel-eon.

P.S. Long time, no see. Glad to read both of your posts here.