Feeling lost

[caligirl4ever]

This past year, I have been on a spiritual journey and really grown and evolved as a person. It's been tough through, as growing spiritually is hard especially when it changes you and your relationships with others. I also felt the presence of angels and someone who was guiding me and protecting me and giving me courage to do things I normally wouldn't. I starting having visions in what my life would be like in the future, two of them in particular were so vivid it felt like I was there. One of them came true a month later, exactly the way I imagined. The other one, this particular situation in my life has pretty much changed completely and became very unlikely to happen. I am not sure why I was given this vision if it's not going to happen?

And just as a person, I feel so lost and nothing in my life makes sense. And whenever things seem to be falling into place, they end up falling apart again. I just feel like I have been led on a wild goose chase, and every path I go on ends up a dead end.
I seemed to be happy and doing so well lately, I was extremely happy lately but now falling into depression again. I've had a feeling all year something good was going to happen and I would gain something from all this. Something that would change my life and make me really happy, though I am not sure what it is. This is one of the things that has kept me moving forward.
However, it hasn't happened yet and I am feeling frustrated. I have completely lost my faith and not sure how to recover.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Caligirl,

Welcome to the forum.

I can hear your frustration in your post, and I can sympathize. I guess we have all experienced - at some time, what you are feeling now. But, and I know this sounds like a cliche, it really is about 'the journey, not the destination'. One of the hardest things to avoid, when walking a spiritual path, is to not have 'expectations'. We all to some degree, measure what we perceive as success or achievement, by the results we can clearly see we have gained. I have come to see with spiritual growth, it is hard if not impossible to measure progress, until long after, and only when we look back retrospectively, and see how we have changed as a result of the many different life experiences we have had; will we see those changes.

You say for the last year you have gone through many changes, and had many experiences that made you feel it was leading to some kind of understanding, or that would give birth to a 'new you'. That you have received glimpses of something, that when you reach out to grasp, seems to disappear or come to nothing. Or not be what you thought it was going to be. Expectation really does create blocks, because if we have a set idea in our heads, anything that falls short of that, can seem like a failure. When it truly isn't. If you can, try to be more open minded, and just be in the moment, rather than thinking ahead all the time it would really help. Don't try to measure success or failure by what 'you think' you have achieved. I would recommend you keep a diary or journal. Write down your thoughts, your experiences; also your dreams, as they can be a rich source of inspiration and guidance. I promise you, when you read back over the months, you will see that you have progressed far more then you think you have.

Progress, can be anything from insights gained about yourself. Lessons learned from different situations. If your sole intention is to gain psychic gifts, without putting in the personal growth work, then I think you will keep feeling as if you are blocked and not getting anywhere. Because this is where 'ego' gets in the way. If you desire to grow more as a person, a human being, in self love, love for others, compassion and awareness, then you will progress. Please don't feel down or depressed about it. That is not it's purpose. Do not measure yourself against others. You are a precious and unique individual. Let life unfold naturally. Be guided by your intuition. Educate yourself. Cultivate spiritual practice, such as meditation and visualization; and mix with other like minded people. We have lots of posts on this forum about spiritual and personal growth. You will see your are not alone in your frustration and doubts. But most of all, enjoy the journey.

I hope this helps.

Love and light
Kaz