because of the tough life?

[donq]

Yesterday I drove all day. While I was waiting for a green light at an intersection, a little girl, around 12-13 years old gently knocking at my window. She was trying to sell her flowers (garlands). I gave her a signal twice that I was not interested. Partly because I always got a headache if there was any flower (or any smell) in the car, and partly because it was illegal to buy something on street like this. Not to mention it was not safe for her life if she kept hawking around on the street like this.
Finally I heard she shouted, "Can you tell me what time it is?"
I lowered my window and told her the time. Then, the real show began:
The girl, "Uncle, I'd like to give you these 3 garlands for free. Please accept them"
I, "Oh! Thanks. But I cannot have any flower in my car. It makes me have a headache".
The girl, "I really want to give them to you for free. Please".
I didn't know what to say more and accepted those garlands from her hands. Sure, I started to delve money from my pocket.
"How much you sell each one of these garland to other customers?"
"A dollar"
While I gave her 3 dollars she asked, "Can you tell me what do you work?"
"I'm kind of a writer" (I knew that she might not understand but told her anyway).
"Ah! Uncle, Would you believe me if I tell you something?"
(At this point I started to feel regret that I should not lower my window in the first place. lol)
She continued without waiting my answer, "I need another 5 dollars and I can stop selling for today. I need this amount of money for my buying something for education. I swear that I'm telling you the truth!"
Though I knew that I was deceived but I still wanted to help her. I gave her another 3 dollars and those garlands I just got and said, "You can take these garlands back so that you can sell them to another driver."
She refused to get them back and said, "No, I already gave them to you".
I said, "Oh! Then I'm sorry. I really cannot help you more. That was all I could do" Though I was sure that I said in a smoothly tone, but somehow it made her stop bothering me any more.
At that moment, it was green light and I started to drive off from there.
Somehow I didn't feel angry that I was tricked/deceived by a little girl. I thought that I just bought a bit expensive garlands from her, to help her, more or less. What made me wonder was how she became like this? Her tough life? Or her parents taught her this trick, for her survival?
Anyway, she really outsmarted me.     

[sparklekaz]

Hi Monty,

I actually think there were a couple of things going on here.

First of all, I think that she's learned quickly how to manipulate people. For survival I would say, rather than from any malicious motive. Though I do think she is being exploited. But then again, that is a judgement. And neither you or I know what kind of life she is living. Many young children are used by gangs who get kids to go out and make money for them by stealing. So I can think of worse things she could be doing. At least she is actually selling something. Rather than being a pickpocket.

Yes she may have outsmarted you. But I think you may have taught her something too. That there are some really nice, kind people in the world. She knew she hadn't fooled you, and yet you still gave her the money. The fact she insisted you take the garlands, when she could have resold them and made more money, shows that fundamentally she is a good kid, with her own sense of honour. I think she will be alright.

Your story made me smile.. thank you for sharing it with us.

Love and light
Kaz

[donq]

Hi Karen,

Hmm...your post made me thinking. We really see the world through the glasses we are wearing. (it's only a figurative speaking, which also includes those who don't wear glasses. ). For example, after hearing my story, one of my friends here said, "She didn't outsmarted you, because you knew it. But, sure, she was a smart girl. And if you said your work was about IT, she might say she needed money to buy a computer. "
Were you a bit optimist while my friend a bit pessimist? You always believe that people are innately good while my friend always believes that people are innately bad (or by later nurture). Where is the realistic view? Somewhere that is in-between?
When I was young and naive, I never believed that people could be bad, at least not that bad. But when I'm old and got life lessons in very hard ways, I hardly believed that (most) people could be good any more, at least not that good. Lucky that, because I've walked on my spiritual path for a very long time, no matter how people are good or bad, it doesn't matter to me any more. I mean, if I can do good thing to them, I will if I could. And I will never do bad thing to them, whether I could do it or not.
My friend might be right about the girl asking for a computer. Who knows? But I'm sure you were right about she was a good kid, with her own sense of honor. I might sense this, too. That was the very reason why deep down I felt a bit guilty after I said to the girl, "Oh! Then I'm sorry. I really cannot help you more. That was all I could do" which somehow made her stop bothering me any more (even I was sure I said it in a smooth tone).   
Anyway, no matter which one was the case, I really didn't mind. I happily accepted that she outsmarted me. Yes, I might be fooled but still felt happy. I was happy to be fooled in this case (sure, one case at a time, please. ). Would I be happy if I shooed her away and could keep all my of money? I don't think so. Because, at least, I ignored the fact that I didn't do something while I could. I could help the girl, more or less. This reminds me of the following old quote:

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmund Burke
 
I might not be a good man but I've been trying to be. And I really don't like to see the triumph of evil, outwardly and inwardly.    

Thanks Karen for this thought-provoking conversation. :-)