Post by sparklekaz on Apr 25, 2016 13:03:39 GMT
Living with someone who has anger issues can also be extremely stressful and debilitating. Within normal relationships, both parties should feel able to express themselves without fear of a discussion or argument spiralling out of control and becoming aggressive. Those people who live within an environment where this is not possible, will often feel anxious. Will hold things in rather then articulating their feelings. Surpressing concerns or not feeling they can be themselves can sometimes result in that individual suffering from anxiety and depression. Their home life fraught with hidden minefields, certainly not a safe haven where they feel relaxed and safe. Anger can have many casualties.
There is a wonderful quote by Buddha. "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned." It demonstrates so clearly, how much anger hurts people. Not just the person on the receiving end of a angry outburst, but the one actually expressing that anger. Not only emotionally, but it can also be dangerous to our physical health.
Emotional stress and anger trigger the release of stress hormone cortisol in the body. Small releases of cortisol can give the body a quick burst of energy. However, higher and more prolonged increases can bring into the body a host of negative effects. It can create a blood sugar imbalance; it can decrease bone density, suppress the body's immune response and make it susceptible to chronic inflammation; it can suppress thyroid function, slowing down the body's metabolism; it can impair the brain's thinking ability and increase blood pressure.
Thích Nhất Hạnh - a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist. He advocates loosening the bonds of anger through mindfulness. He says:
In our consciousness there are blocks of pain, anger and frustration called internal formations. They are also called knots because they tie us up and obstruct our freedom.
When someone insults us or does something unkind to us, an internal formation is created in our consciousness. If you don’t know how to undo the internal knot and transform it, the knot will stay there for a long time. And the next time someone says something or does something to you of the same nature, that internal formation will grow stronger. As knots or blocks of pain in us, our internal formations have the power to push us, to dictate our behavior.
After a while, it becomes very difficult for us to transform, to undo the knots, and we cannot ease the constriction of this crystallized formation. The Sanskrit word for internal formation is samyojana. It means “to crystallize.” Every one of us has internal formations that we need to take care of. With the practice of meditation
we can undo these knots and experience transformation and healing. Anger is an internal formation, and since it makes us suffer, we try our best to get rid of it. Psychologists like the expression, “getting it out of your system.” And they speak about venting anger, like ventilating a room filled with smoke. Some psychologists say that when the energy of anger arises in you, you should ventilate it by hitting a pillow, kicking something, or by going into the forest to yell and shout.
People who use venting techniques like hitting a pillow or shouting are actually rehearsing anger. When someone is angry and vents their anger by hitting a pillow, they are learning a dangerous habit. They are training in aggression. Instead, our approach is to generate the energy of mindfulness and embrace anger every time it manifests.
Treating Anger with Tenderness
Mindfulness does not fight anger or despair. Mindfulness is there in order to recognize. To be mindful of something is to recognize that something is there in the present moment. Mindfulness is the capacity of being aware of what is going on in the present moment. “Breathing in, I know that anger has manifested in me; breathing out, I smile towards my anger.” This is not an act of suppression or of fighting. It is an act of recognizing. Once we recognize our anger, we embrace it with a lot of awareness, a lot of tenderness.
What are your thoughts and experiences of anger. How do you deal with yours. Have you yourself tried mindfulness when trying to understand anger? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
There is a wonderful quote by Buddha. "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned." It demonstrates so clearly, how much anger hurts people. Not just the person on the receiving end of a angry outburst, but the one actually expressing that anger. Not only emotionally, but it can also be dangerous to our physical health.
Emotional stress and anger trigger the release of stress hormone cortisol in the body. Small releases of cortisol can give the body a quick burst of energy. However, higher and more prolonged increases can bring into the body a host of negative effects. It can create a blood sugar imbalance; it can decrease bone density, suppress the body's immune response and make it susceptible to chronic inflammation; it can suppress thyroid function, slowing down the body's metabolism; it can impair the brain's thinking ability and increase blood pressure.
Thích Nhất Hạnh - a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist. He advocates loosening the bonds of anger through mindfulness. He says:
In our consciousness there are blocks of pain, anger and frustration called internal formations. They are also called knots because they tie us up and obstruct our freedom.
When someone insults us or does something unkind to us, an internal formation is created in our consciousness. If you don’t know how to undo the internal knot and transform it, the knot will stay there for a long time. And the next time someone says something or does something to you of the same nature, that internal formation will grow stronger. As knots or blocks of pain in us, our internal formations have the power to push us, to dictate our behavior.
After a while, it becomes very difficult for us to transform, to undo the knots, and we cannot ease the constriction of this crystallized formation. The Sanskrit word for internal formation is samyojana. It means “to crystallize.” Every one of us has internal formations that we need to take care of. With the practice of meditation
we can undo these knots and experience transformation and healing. Anger is an internal formation, and since it makes us suffer, we try our best to get rid of it. Psychologists like the expression, “getting it out of your system.” And they speak about venting anger, like ventilating a room filled with smoke. Some psychologists say that when the energy of anger arises in you, you should ventilate it by hitting a pillow, kicking something, or by going into the forest to yell and shout.
People who use venting techniques like hitting a pillow or shouting are actually rehearsing anger. When someone is angry and vents their anger by hitting a pillow, they are learning a dangerous habit. They are training in aggression. Instead, our approach is to generate the energy of mindfulness and embrace anger every time it manifests.
Treating Anger with Tenderness
Mindfulness does not fight anger or despair. Mindfulness is there in order to recognize. To be mindful of something is to recognize that something is there in the present moment. Mindfulness is the capacity of being aware of what is going on in the present moment. “Breathing in, I know that anger has manifested in me; breathing out, I smile towards my anger.” This is not an act of suppression or of fighting. It is an act of recognizing. Once we recognize our anger, we embrace it with a lot of awareness, a lot of tenderness.
What are your thoughts and experiences of anger. How do you deal with yours. Have you yourself tried mindfulness when trying to understand anger? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Love and light
Kaz
