Seeking enlightment

[meme]

Hi all,

I'm new to the forum, if my question is at the wrong place please forgive me. I welcome answers from any faith and I thank you in advance. I used to be christian but I'm not a believer anymore and I really don't have much knowledge hence I'm coming to you. Strange things have been happening to me with the most weird happening two days ago. Here we go (I may be long but please bear with me):

About 13 years ago while in my first year at university I read a Cosmopolitan article about using your dreams to get answers. It gave tips on how to do it (like as you fall asleep you repeat what you want to know about over and over like a mantra so that its ingrained in your mind). Didn't really believe in the stuff but thought to myself let me try and see. It was day time, I wasn't sleepy but I forced myself to nap. I lay in my bed and repeated my question over and over again soon I became lull then the weirdest thing happened (I can't really explain it but), I felt myself "travel" at a speed of lighting. It felt like I was traveling through worlds and going to the dream world (it sounds crazy but I swear I'm sane). When I got there I found what I wanted to know and also it was a jovial place. It reminded me of a Whitney Houston video, I'm every woman, (I'm not even a fan). As I thought that the song suddenly started to play. I watched for a while. People were happy and enjoying themselves (there was no debauchery just jovial atmosphere) I also felt happy but then because I had gotten my answer I decide it's time to wake up. It was such a long time ago I don't remember if I "traveled" again or if I came to as normal but what freaked me out is I did "wake up" but my body did not. I tried commanding it to move body parts but it wouldn't and I felt disconnected. I remember freaking out and being scared that people will think I'm dead and bury me alive. As I was freaking out my roommate and her friend came making a noise, they accidentally banged the door which jolted me and I sprang up and "connected" again. I was so freaked out my roommate thought I was upset by being woken up so rudely by the door when in actual fact I was grateful to her. I told her what happened and she dismissed it as a dream but I was still freaked out and decided I'll never do that again and never did.

Two to three years later, I was at my place sleeping with a friend who had come to visit me. As we were sleeping I heard a door creaking open. It was summer and hot. I assumed I must have left the window open and the wind was blowing but the door wasn't flapping as it would if it was a wind instead it was creaking slowly open so I decided to look but the door was firmly shut so I dismissed the sounds as imagination and went back to sleep. Soon I my sleep was disturbed again and I heard whispers. This time I worried, I thought robbers had come in I quickly woke my friend up and told him I was hearing whispering. When we listened together there was absolute quite, even the night was still. He suggested I was having a nightmare and held me in his embrace and believed him. Soon I moved away then I felt a presence above my head and I started feeling weird as if my energy was being drained. My body became weak and I couldn't move a single muscle. I then heard a voice urging me, "Stop them! Stop them now, they're stealing your soul." As you can imagine I was confused and busy trying to process what was happening. I tried to move my body but I couldn't - I felt locked down. The only thing I could move was my neck. I turned it to complain to my friend and that's when I saw this being. It was like human but not human. It had eyes, 4 limbs, nose, mouth etc. but it wasn't a human. I was shocked out of my mind because you never expect to see "spirits" if that's what it was. I became very frightened then this thing smiled teasingly, changed its face to look like my friend and stuck it's tongue out at me. This angered me greatly bringing me out of my shock. I shouted at my friend to wake up and look at his left these two things (one was above my head) laughed condescendingly and poofed away. My didn't see them and tried to convince me I was sleeping and I asked him how could I be both sleeping and awake at the same time. Things just went wrong in my life after that and I lost my faith and stopped going to church.

Present: It's been about ten years and I never dabbled in spiritual things. After the encouter with those beings I wanted nothing to do with spirituality which is why I left christianity. In 2012 I was at a book store when I saw a tarot kit. Out of curiosity I bought, opened it but never used it until last year. I tried a few times but I can't read and I don't really believe in it but then there was a day I was desperately in search of my ID card. I turned my place upside down looking for it. In my desperation I remembered a website I had used to learn how to read tarot cards and that it had a spread for finding lost things because I desperately needed my card I went to the sight. I suck at tarot so it took me about 40 minutes to understand the cards and when I did I really did find my card where the cards said it would be. I really did not expect it to work. It freaked me out and I regretted using them as I had promised myself to never mess with spiritual things again. I threw the cards away. A month or so later I was sleeping when I woke up and I was vibrating. I felt myself "travel" again the same way I did in my first year but this time I wasn't in control something else was driving me and instead of "world" I was still here on earth but "traveling" over the ocean. I tried to resist but the thing was stronger than me and forced me to "travel". We got to France and were at a train station. I was confused what I was doing there (by the way I've never been to France but somehow I know I was in France). Then this thing said to me, "You are not supposed to see him, look quickly". I immediately knew it was talking about this man who was talking to another as they awaited their train to Italy and I felt that this man is my future husband. I tried to look but all I got were his clothing as a white film quickly covered up my vision and I came to. I was lying in my bed still vibrating and trying to figure out if what happened had been real or a dream. Then I felt some sort of energy and I knew this thing was going to try enter me. I tried to resist it as I didn't know whether it is evil or not but it laughed at my attempt and entered me, funny enough I did not feel weird at all. Last December (around 4 months later) I went home for Christmas. Again I awoke from my sleep and I was vibrating and sounds were loud (like my family lives by the beach and crashing waves sound was quite loud) I tried very hard to control the vibrating and eventually it stopped. Then two days ago was the weirdest event which prompted to seek knowledge from those who know.

Again I woke up from sleeping and I was vibrating but this time it was stronger than the other times and the sounds were so loud especially my fridge (I live in a one bedroom so my place is not that big). I live in a quite place but I heard sounds. I can't tell you of what but there were definitely other sounds besides my fridge and as much as they were loud they weren't irritating. Anyway, I was vibrating violently then I felt another part of me came out of me (but my body was still on the bed vibrating). I saw this thing (that felt like me) and I felt something push out of this thing/me. It/me opened its mouth. I kept repeating the Lord's Prayer (it's the only one I remember) and I called out to God in all the names I know: Yaweh, Elohim, Allah, Jehova - I may have even called out to Buddha but I felt no help from Him so I went back to repeating the Lord's Prayer. While I was praying I/this thing suddenly let out a violent scream but I wasn't worried about the noise from the scream because somehow I knew on earth they couldn't hear it so my neighbours couldn't hear anything. I felt something being forcefully extricated from this thing/me which was the cause for the violent scream. I saw something misty white (it wasn't a whole lot) come out of this thing/me. I became scared that I was dying and that my breath was leaving me and I tried to stop the whole thing. I called out to God again and I still felt noting from him so I called out to my ancestors and to the angels to help me stop my breath from leaving me but I felt no help from "the other side". When the "mist" finished coming out the part of me that had separated returned and my vibrating slowed to a stop. When it stopped I was still repeating the Lord's Prayer. It took me a while to ascertain whether I am still alive or dead. When I established I'm still alive I sussed out how I feel whether my body felt different now that whatever came out. Funny thing is this time I'm not scared or freaked out. I do feel something left but I don't feel I lost something and I actually feel good, lighter and happy. I've been depressed for the past 10 years (ever since those spirits came I fell into a deep depression I was even put on medication and happiness when felt was very short lived). Now I feel energetic and excited.

I swear I'm not crazy and I do know the difference between reality and fantasy but at same time I doubt these events. Has someone heard of/had similar experiences? I know a tiny bit about astral projections but can they happen spontaneously as it happened to me when I "traveled to France"? And what of the vibrating? Or do I have very vivid dreams? I am a lucid dreamer so I normally can tell when I'm dreaming. I don't even have nightmares because I simply control my dream and I force myself to wake up.

[donq]

Hi Meme,

First of all, welcome to the forum.

Secondly, thanks for sharing your story. I know sharing something personal like this would make anyone feels vulnerable and it takes a lot of courage to do so. Besides, this is a spiritual forum, so we "share" our unique experience to our spiritual friends like us.

Anyway, because of the time zone, you might have to wait for a while before some friends here could come to post any reply. Now most of them are sleeping.

I don't know much about astral projection or OBE (out-of-body experience), so I don't have much to share. But I can assure you that your experience was so normal for anyone who's walking on his/her spiritual path. I also have had a lot of those "weird" (as worldly term) experiences which were so normal for spirituality. The point is we have to look at it in the right way. Don't be afraid of it. And don't need to care much about what worldly people might think. Because when it comes to spirituality, it's so unique for each individual. Each one has to find its meaning by herself/himself. Others explanation is other explanations, not ours.
 
So, my advice is you have to try to calm down and look at your experience in the new light, spiritual one. The more you gain knowledge about your experience, the more you will be less scared by it and even help to enhance your spirituality.

Sorry if I didn't answer much about your questions. Our friends here will come to give the better answers, I'm sure. (For example, one of my dear friends here "realized" that she used to be someone in the long past. She even remembered all of the details which no way she could knew about it).

[tribunalofmercy]

Hello meme - Welcome to the GodLight


Lots of things get Confusing, even downright Scary as we go through life, don't they? Donq said it well when we shared that the more we gain Knowledge of our experiences the less scared we will be - and also we will learn what to Do when things happen.


The first time I drove a car alone was quite frightening for me, likely because I felt overwhelmed and worried I would do things Wrong and get into an accident! (And sometime later I Did get into an accident, ugh. But everybody was okay).


Over time I learned to drive much better and knew more of what to Do, though we must still be careful when we are driving - a car is a Really Heavy metal machine that could potentially do Lots of damage to us or others, but we usually don't remain scared of driving because we learn the Rules, and we get practiced at it. It's always a risk - driving in traffic, etc - but we learn to trust what we Do know and hopefully use both seat belts, training and Prayer to ensure safety.


...I said all that as an example of spiritual things, because we end up with the Same trials and learning experiences in the world of the New and Unknown, spiritually, as we do in everyday things. CyberAngel (another member here) often quotes the phrase "as above, so below" - and sometimes I think also, "as below, so (often) above". There Are ways we can learn truth by simply looking Around ourselves, and Into ourselves, for the answers we seek.


There are lots of wonderful, kind and knowledgeable people here to get to know, meme, so I hope you will stick around, read, participate and do just That - get to Know us, and share as you grow


Love and Wisdom,

Mary Anne

[sparklekaz]

Hi meme,

Wow, where do I start.

This all started from what I can see when you read the article about 'incubating' a dream to seek answers. From what you have described I would say this was your first 'astral/out of body' experience. You said "I lay in my bed and repeated my question over and over again soon I became lull then the weirdest thing happened (I can't really explain it but), I felt myself "travel" at a speed of lighting. It felt like I was traveling through worlds and going to the dream world". Repeating your question over and over again, I believe induced a very light trance state. You must be a 'natural' at 'slipping out' of your physical body. Which is why, before you feel asleep, you were very aware of that shift, of leaving your body. This is why you were aware of the 'sensation of speed. Many who are able to induce 'at will' an out of body experience have have described this, the same way as you have. The journey you describe sounds a mix of 'dream' and 'astral travel'. As in the Whitney Housten part being dreamlike and the traveling through worlds being part of the astral dimensions.

While your were in this state you were lucid, and so made a conscious decision to wake up. What your describing is not a 'false awakening', but 'sleep paralysis'. In your case caused by your astral body, not fully merging with your physical body. In other words, your 'half in, half out' half awake, half asleep, so to speak. I've experienced this for myself and so I know that it is very frightening, and so I can wholheartedly sympathise. Once you understand what it is that is happening to you though, it can go a little way to helping to control that feeling of sheer panic. It feels like forever before we can move, but in reality its about a minute. The best thing to do in these situations, is try to control your breathing, as in keep it regular, and wiggle your your toes. Your friend did help by banging the door, the jolt was enough to help you wake. But trust me you would have woken by yourself. Some people who experience sleep paralysis also speak of feeling heavy pressure on their chest, or of being pulled by their feet.

Your second experience with the tarot cards, indicates that you do have natural psychic/intuitive abilities. Which was already demonstrated to me by the ease in which you OBE'd and Astral traveled. As Monty and Mary Anne have said in their own ways. These experiences when new, can be really scary. We try something without really thinking anything will happen, and then are shocked when they do. Without knowing what we are doing, or not understanding the process of how we know the things we do, or how these strange experiences work, it's no wonder you got scared everytime something 'unusual' happened. I can't stress how important it is if someone wants to explore their psychic/intuitive gifts, to expand the spiritual awareness. That they do their 'homework' or at least read a little more about the subject before they decide to experiment. But to reassure you, nearly everyone does this.

Human beings are naturally extremely curious. We love to explore, push boundaries and experiment. I guess nothing new would ever be discovered would it if we didn't. But still, it's good to remember, the unprepared traveler will often get caught up in situations they are not expecting, understand or know how to deal with. What I can say is that your experiences have been shared by many others. So you are not mad, sad or crazy. You have abilities and natural gifts which can be developed. But I would advise you to seek guidance from others, read, share and most of all, take it slowly.

The strange faces you saw upon waking, when you had your friend staying with you that time may have been what is called 'Hypnagogic'. Hypnagogic hallucinations are visual, tactile, auditory. They are usually brief but occasionally prolonged, that can occur at the transition from wakefulness to sleep, or from sleep to wakefulness. The phenomenon is thought to have been first described by the Dutch physician 'Isbrand Van Diemerbroeck' in 1664. The person may hear sounds that are not there, and see visual hallucinations. These visual and auditory images are very vivid and may be bizarre or disturbing. From what you have described meme, I would say that your friends face 'morphing' as it did was probably due to the hypnagogic state. The vibrating sounds could be connected to this, or simply the physical changes occuring, as your astral body prepares to go on it's travels. Your description of the noises in your home, the loud sounds of the freezer or fridge. Are connected I would say to your heightened anxious state of awareness. All the things that have happened to you can be explained and have been experienced by other people. You are not alone in this.

I hope this helps meme.

Love and light
Kaz

[donq]

As a friend I should not say this, because it might sound insincere, but your explanation on this topic is so good.
I had little (direct) experience about OBE but used to read quite a bit about it. Very good post! Karen.

[meme]

Thank you all for your warm welcome . I appreciate you taking time to read my post and replying .

@sparlekaz:
No I don't think I have psychic abilities but you may be right that when I followed that article I opened a can of worms. I guess I tried to do one thing and ended up doing another. The thing is I was only meant to sleep and dream as per normal. The repetition was only meant to create a last memory in mind so I dream about I wanted to know about which by the way was a childish question - I wanted to know if my then boyfriend was my future husband (don't laugh, I was a teenager). And I definitely was in a dream it even felt like a dream. Back then I hadn't heard about astral projection and when I "traveled" I just thought it was part of the dream. I only realised something was wrong when my body wouldn't wake up. There no heavy feeling, I really wasn't "connected" to my body. I couldn't even wiggle my toe. I tried to command different body parts to move and the was no response. I definitely was awake because I could hear sounds outside it's my body that didn't respond. That heavy feeling on your chest, I know what you are talking about I don't know what it's called in English but in my country the word translates to Night Man because it feels like someone is sitting on you. No I've never experienced that as I said I don't get nightmares because the moment I get scared or anxious I realise I'm in a dream and I wake myself up.

I looked up what Hypnagogic is. No, I wasn't hallucinating or in between sleep and consciousness. Those beings definitely were there and as I said I felt an energy draining me and my body got so weak I couldn't move it. But, you are right, I slip between sleep and wake easily. Most times I can control my sleep, that is I don't need an alarm clock (except if I've have long periods of disruption and my body is tired). If I decide I want to sleep for two hours I will sleep for two hours exactly or if I decide I want to wake up at 7 o'clock that happens too. Sometimes the in-out happens naturally and I can even hold conversations which seems to surprise people but I know its happening it even feels like I step in and I step out. I have a friend who used to get upset when I fall in and out of sleep while talking to her and she would be surprised when I woke up with the memory of the conversation 'cause she used to be convinced I was sleeping and not really registering. Once in a blue moon I become "dead" to the world and I can't control my sleep but that only happens when my sleep apnea and insomnia come back then after a long period of sleep disruption my body completely shuts down to recuperate.

What I don't understand is why it took 13 years for this to happen if I opened the door when I tried to induce the dream? Also, what I hate the most is the spontaneity of it all. I don't like not having control. Is there a way to reverse things or stop it from happening in the future? I'm scared to even go to sleep. I've been reading about AP and apparently it happens when you are at rest. For me it seems to happen around the same time 5am. Last night I woke at 3am and I stayed up till 5h30 to avoid this. Sure enough around 5am I felt a pull to go to sleep - I wasn't drowsy, it was more of the brain wanted to shut down. So I switched on music on my phone and forced myself to concentrate on the music.

[alvinw333]

Hi Meme, I'm a member of Eckankar and they teach the anchant science of Soul travel, not astral travel, anyway we also study or dreams for answers and wornings, for example we chant Hu for about 5-10 min before sleep, Hu is a anchent name for God and we become intuned with the Holy Spirit, if we want to know something, we ask a qustion after the exercise, something like you did.and in Soul Travel we have a guide with us, can't see him only if we call out to him will he apear and help us out you could call on him for help( Mahanta) anyone I believe can call out to him and gethelp.about you not wanting this to happen again I would sugest chanting Hu for two min befor sleep and say I don want this to hapen again and It the Holy Spirit will help you out, and also give you an awerness of your true Self. Its realy something though that most all of the members want to do Soul Travel and some of them cant, there given diferent exercises to Soul Travel, but are unlucky