My Current Situation

[sagemode]

Heya, I thought I'd write a little here seeing as I was drawn back to this place by an email earlier.

I guess I could say that I was beginning to trust in myself to an extreme measure, while also not being able yet to deal with all kinds of real-life situation. In short, my trusting myself kinda seems to have put me in a very tough and painful spot.

I guess it is like a child that has been traumatized to some extent and when faced with something new, only makes very reluctant or hesitating or careful steps.

And learning to trust that again, takes a little time. Learning to trust that the impulses or inducements of self do not lead to disaster.

I was put in some closed insane asylum ward for having done some things most people here in this world would consider devious.

Being really locked up for the first time in my life, was a really hard experience to come to terms with, in the sense of stopping to feel and act like a victim, and taking back control over how I feel, out of the hands of the people I had considered the villains, or the people in power.

I will write more later, a guy here wants some time on the PC.

Laters!! .

[donq]

Hi Sagemode,

Hmm…I think I do understand your feelings. And your post reminds me of Ecclesiastes:

What is crooked cannot be straightened;
what is lacking cannot be counted.

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

I think that the more we grow (age and/or spirituality), the more we feel sorrow. For example, though I’ve been working with language for 30 years, I have to confess that sometimes I cannot understand the real meaning behind those sentences. Or I might understand, who knows? I could get when someone had smile, sweet and simple in the sentences they used. I could get when someone hide their tears in the sentences they used. But what I never known is when someone hid sly twinkle in their eyes and pretended otherwise.
What I try t say is knowing could work both way: drag us down or enlighten us. We have to choose to swim or be drowned. Though the more we grow old, the more we feel sad but the more we’ve got our maturity, too, right? We will be smarter to choose which is worth to gain our trust, aren’t we?