Pain body.

[mojomojo]

Hi all, I would like to ask a question on behalf of my wife, if I may. Many years ago when she was quite young, they had a family tragedy, in which she came away feeling blamed, not trying to be dramatic, but this tragedy was as bad as it gets. Shortly after she was put in boarding school, and looked after by an aunt, as her mother could not cope, thus reinforcing the guilt. Many years later she had a tumor removed, leaving her with nerve damage and chronic pain. The family never talk about the tragedy, too much pain I presume.
If we are to believe that all pain stems from the mind, and that years of guilt, must have created a pain body, how would she begin to deal with it?  Is the only way, to get the family members together to discuss this, get it out in the open, I know in my heart, that if she heard those involved say, it was not her fault, and that they never blamed her, if nothing else it would take a ton weight of her, at best send her on a road to recovery.
I thank you all in advance for any help you have to offer,
many thanks,
Robert.

[gruntal]

At the risk of sounding imperial it must be said at first: most human beings are only capable of receiving the truth up to a certain level. Beyond that they will not understand. Having said that I can only reiterate with a vengeance: the reason for things is not dependent on our acceptance of them. The reasons are invariably more complicated then we ever imagined. They can be sought out though. Indeed it is the little details that often seem to be some secret we are not meant to know. I do not think that is true. I have been stunned to hear some things from people who told me things I did not expect to hear. It turned my little world upside down. I had no idea. My misconceptions were blown away. Just because they took the time to talk with me even a little bit.

All I can suggest is a gentle reminder to those involved that sometimes a simple sentence of truth or confession is not that great a burden on the speaker but may be of immense import to the listener. I guess that is why sometimes an impartial third party can convey the information if it is too delicate for those too close to it. Either way we make assumptions that are not true. Just a little admission can clarify things and it does make a difference.

But how to start the process? I do not know except to tell those involved there are things that need to be said. Just hearing them or learning the information may be more important that they realize.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Robert,

What a caring husband you are. My heart goes out to your wife, what a terrible burden to have to carry around with her all her life. It sounds as if it was something that traumatized the whole family. Hence their inability to deal with it and so pushed it away. As they did your wife bless her. Sending her to boarding school. Was sending their children to boarding school the norm in her family? I mean if it was, it may have been they were following the norm, rather then rejecting her by sending her away. In her mind she would have felt she was being punished. Is talking about this with her family something she wants to do. Or is it something you think would be good for her to do? If it's you, then be very sure she is in full agreement with it. I feel it should be something that comes from her.

I do believe that with these things there is a syncronistic timing involved. It may be that something happens that brings the family together, and the opportunity to talk about this very sensitive subject comes up by itself. Strange though that might sound. She may find that each person in her family, feels as she does, each having shouldered the guilt and sense of responsibility for what happened. Hence their reluctance to talk about it. Whatever the issue is, this will be an opportunity for the whole family to heal.

As a healer, I do understand the connection between the mind, body and spirit. Inbalance, blockages caused by trauma, can in some people bring on illness in some form. Can I ask you, where was the tumour situated? Was another child involved in this Robert?

Love and light
Kaz

[mojomojo]

Hi Gruntal, thank you for your wise words, thought about, a third party, who was not so involved getting the ball rolling, but they are a very tight knit family, and due to the tender nature of the situation, the initial response may be considered intrusive and cause the opposite effect, have to tread very lightly here.

Hi Kaz, thank you for your response, I have to be very careful, what I say, I believe she was sent to boarding school, because her father worked away, and her mother was traumatised, maybe even had to have professional care, not sure, and no it was not the norm for boarding school, but yes, it must have seemed like she was been punished, enforcing the blame/guilt. I do believe everyone involved would have taken on guilt, maybe that's why it's not talked about, or the only way they can cope.
It has taken her years to be able to even talk about it, even to me, she does feel that she needs to hear those words from her mother/father, and yes, I do feel it will be empowering for her.
The tumor wrapped around her spine (lower), L3, L4, L5, all eaten away, she had metal inserts to protect the spinal cord, left with nerve damage and chronic pain, the tragedy did involve her witnessing the passing over of another child in horrible circumstances.
I have no reason for saying this other than gut feeling, but she seems to be punishing herself for what happened, and even though other factors like karma may have an influence, I do feel the tumor was a result of deep seated guilt, blame.
Again , many thanks.
Robert.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Robert,

I did feel very strongly that this issue was connected to another child. I'm guessing a sibling. My heart goes out to your wife. I feel as well as hearing from her family the words she needs to hear. I truly believe she needs to 'forgive herself'. She did nothing wrong, but children will often feel responsible, believe that they could have done something to help or that they are to blame. No matter how illogical it might sound . Look at how many children blame themselves when their parents split up. That is just one example. Below I have listed some information to the Root Chakra which I think is relevant in your wife's case.

"The Root Chakra is affected by how secure and safe we feel in the world and how well we can balance trust versus mistrust, independence versus dependence, and standing alone versus belonging to groups.

The Root Chakra begins its development during the ages 0-7 years. Any verbal, mental, physical abuse or lack of security during these years will leave a negative imprint in this Root Chakra. A negative imprint is like a scratch in your energy field; whereas, positive circumstances brighten your aura. Family wounds are also stored in this area of the body. Perhaps your family always struggled financially or changed residences often. This energy will then carry over to you. Any unfinished business with parents is a Root Chakra issue. In all of these cases, imbalances to the energy of the Root Chakra can set the stage for illness.

Autoimmune (emotional/mental) diseases (lupus, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, thyroid disorders, AIDS, cancer, allergies) are when the body attacks itself. These are Root Chakra imbalances. The body gets a destructive message from deep within itself. Mental depression has been associated not only with self-destructive behaviors but with depression of the immune system functioning. Many women with autoimmune diseases also suffer from depression. I also find that fertility issues are linked to imbalances in the Root Chakra.

Our feet, legs, knees, hips and pelvis are our foundation. Do you experience any back pain? How secure do you feel in the world? Do you feel like the rug could be slipped out from under you at any time? Do you fear that you may lose all of your material possessions, home, car…everything you are working so hard to keep? Add to this also the people you love.

Most people have imbalances within this Root Chakra. It acts as the rectum of the energy system. Unless it is functioning properly and eliminating toxic energy, your entire energy system starts malfunctioning. It is important to do exercises for this Root Chakra to keep our energy system running optimally. Begin any necessary healing of this chakra, experiencing any painful memories of childhood or survival issues, releasing them, and forgiving."

Has your wife ever had therapy Robert, or considered seeing a healer? These things with your loving support will help her. I hope this helps.

Love and light
Kaz

[mojomojo]

Hi Kaz, thank you very much for your response, a lot of the root chakra problems, do exist for her, we have done some root chakra meditations and it has benefited her, but I feel without removing the initial sense of blame, everything else will only have temporary effect, I do agree that timing has to be right, and my only fear is if she is met with resistance to talk, which again just reinforces. Maybe she should wait until she feels, it's the right time, it's a hard one to call.
Again, many thanks,
Robert.