I'm ready to move on to the next chapter of my life

[David Byrne]

For the past few years I've been on various Antidepressants for anxiety and depression. At the beginning of October I was diagnosed as having a mild form of Bipolar which to me explains all the highs and lows that I've experienced throughout life which I wouldn't change for anything as it's who I am , it's what's made me as a person. For the past two weeks I've been tapering off my antidepressant medication I haven't had none for a week now , it's a fast taper , it's been hard as it's made me very snappy as well as angry. However I'm getting over the worst now which I'm very excited about because I can't wait to start my new medication and get on with my life which is what we all want , to get on with life and enjoy it. I have noticed I wake up very sad feeling like whats the point in even getting up but most of that passes when I play some music , music has always been my drug , I'm still glad to be feeling human emotions as obviously it makes me feel human. Since being off antidepressants it's like I've been given a second chance at life I know that's dramatic ,It's really not , but I honestly have this new perception of how I see the world. I have developed an attitude of gratitude towards life because it's like I've been given new eyes that allow me to see AND feel that life is so precious so we must always live it to the fullest , literally. I've also come to realise that as humans we perhaps take ourselves far too seriously with worrying over silly little things that seem so big at the time due to our limited vision , we can be narrow minded. It's ok though because when life feels it's our time to grow and evolve as individuals it will give us the experiences that our souls and spirits need to mold into this brilliant being , trust me on this. I feel like a kid all over again. I get emotional but I love it as I like getting emotional over things that make me happy or sad as it shows me what's important to me. Life's precious people but don't take it too seriously because as I've read somewhere before its not like your getting out a llie :-)

[tribunalofmercy]

Hello, iamhe I'm really glad you are getting a new medication that will hopefully keep you on an even keel, out of depression and feeling better Consistently. And I really like your "attitude of gratitude" - that's so important for us All to have! Life is much better when we look at things from that perspective - yes, life is Precious, everything in it, every moment - why not Live like it is?

It's encouraging to read your post today I understand the emotionalism, and identifying with 'who you are', not imagining or wanting to be Any other way; I have the bipolar dx as well - been dx'd for 30 years now, lol - I cannot imagine Not being "who I am" either, though I am recognizing all that I Am, Outside of and apart from the diagnosis, which I was not able to do before.

This journey is set before you, iamhe - it is what you Make of it, and I know you will find Much to rejoice in along the way. Be sure to share what you will of it, as you go, and we can All be encouraged

Love and Wisdom

Mary Anne

[donq]

Hi Iamhe,

Wonderful! I'm happy for you.

[donq]

Dear Mary Anne,

I was going to ask you about bipolar.
I know about it more or less but would like to hear it from the inside out.

Thanks in advance.

[tribunalofmercy]

Hello Monty

Bipolar disorder involves a chemical imbalance in the brain; a glitch in the system, so to speak. In a brain without bipolar, the pituitary gland in the hypothalamus regulates the amounts of serotonin, dopamine etc that are provided; in the bipolar brain this process malfunctions. We end up with Too Much of the chemicals, or not Enough. This is the science behind the disorder.


How it translates, is that sometimes we feel Amazingly happy for no apparent reason; we believe we can do Anything, we have no fear, we love freely, we see Amazing things in our heads. (I understand it’s a lot like psychotropic drugs, but I don’t know). At other times, when there are No chemicals in our brains due to the malfunction, we become depressed, negative, unmotivated, "numb" and even wish to stay in bed or just End things.


Unfortunately the cycle of chemical malfunctions make the nerve endings and dendrites overly-sensitive and the bipolar person experiences Other issues….like cookies and milk. Cookies and milk just Go together, you know? And things like obsessiveness, paranoia and even rage issues just Go With bipolar mood cycles. (among other things) Bipolar people are also more likely to be spiritually sensitive, have you noticed? Because of the hyper-sensitivity of the nerve endings within and leaving the hypothalmus, we seem to be more Apt to open up to those things which are unseen. It is an interesting scientific study.


There are a number of medications for bipolar disorder but not all of them work the same way; there are two or three medications that actually work to Balance the brain chemicals, to help them work properly. Other medications simply Suppress the symptoms so the bipolar person does not suffer needlessly (ahem. I have my Opinions on those drugs).


If you imagine a beautiful valley with green pastures before you, notice that there is a wide river that runs through the middle of this valley. Up above the valley is a dam that regulates the water into the river so that the valley will receive what it Needs, when it needs. When the dam is operating properly the water flows within the banks of the river, and the entire valley is peaceful and green….


When the skies are empty and the valley becomes dry it Needs the water from the river, but sometimes the dam is bipolar, and cannot seem to Open to release water down into the river. The valley has no way of getting nourishment and suffers. Now imagine that too much water is released from the dam and floods the river…the banks overflow and, instead of running through the valley and on beyond, the water backs up into tributaries of obsession, paranoia, delusion that flood Certain areas but leave other areas still parched.


*sigh* It is an Illness, though because it is of the mind, not all accept it as fact. Spiritually the bipolar does not Cause what we seem to “know” and experience, but it does open us up to it in a way that some others cannot find as easily. It becomes what we call a “mixed blessing”.


Namaste, my cherished friend

Mary Anne

[cyberangel]

Hello Iamhe

I am delighted to read your promising and uplifting post. I wish you well and look forward to hear how you are doing on your new medication as well hearing more about your spiritual discoveries/experiences. Sending loads of loving energy your way

Dear Mary Anne,

Thank you for sharing and expressing your experience of Bi-Polar. I have had some friends in the past with this condition/illness and I never fully realized until now what they experienced. I just saw them as being extremely 'hyper' or incredibly low in themselves...both are the extremes of illness but to find them in the 'middle' ground was always good. Once again thank you for sharing my friend. God Bless

Love and Light to you both

[sparklekaz]

Hi Mary,

I've never read anything that describes the Bi Polar condition so well and as eloquently as the post you have just written. My mother was diagnosed with this condition towards the end of her life. I wished often with all my heart that we had known of this years earlier. It would have explained a lot about her behaviour and saved us all, especially her a lot of heartache.

Your description was so vivid and so beautifully put. It was fascinating to read, and I do not mean that in any disrespectful way. I feel as if I've been given something really important. A deeper understanding of a condition that is, I belive generally not very well understood. I can see how it can make the sufferers life very difficult, but in other ways, enhance their experience of life so much. Though the condition is caused by a chemical imbalance. I truly believe that it is still very much a part of the 'normal' human condition, and would explain why some people are more sensitive and open than others.

Such is life, that what we get given with one hand, is taken from us with the other. In a different way empathy works similarly. The cost of being super sensitive is both pleasure and pain. There are always two sides to every coin. Thank you so much for sharing.

Love and light
Kaz

[donq]

Dear Karen,

As far as I know, you are a very calm patient woman (urh…except when are asked about Reiki lol).
So you mother was so lucky to have you. She was in the good, nay, best hand.

[donq]

Dear Mary Anne,

As Karen said, very well explanation and great metaphor. Thanks again.

And It reminds me of some Buddhist proverbs below:

The flickering , fickle mind,
Difficult to guard, difficult to control,
The wise man straightens,
As a fletcher straightens an arrow.

Hard to perceive and extremely subtle is this mind,
It roams wherever it desires.
Let the wise man guard it;
A guarded mind is conducive to happiness.

You (and Iamhe) have done so well about your inner work. Cheers! :-)

[David Byrne]

Thanks for the replies. I've been watching a lot of motivational videos on YouTube which I must say they have all made me cry , literally , I've been sobbing like a baby. I haven't cried for 4 years ! So I know that by crying I am letting out excessive emotional baggage which is helping me grow into this new strong person and I believe that God is watching over me helping me to release these tears , each tear being a sign of evolution.

[David Byrne]

Sparklekaz may I say , I mean no harm , you are very hot !