Post by tribunalofmercy on Oct 6, 2014 17:07:53 GMT
I suppose a more accurate title would be “Attachments, Expectations and Perspective”…I hope to move us today from understanding Human Thinking, to seeing Specific human thinking. A little background – I Firmly believe nothing is New, and that nothing is truly ever Lost, including Teaching from history. Um, I’ve been a bit of a non-conformist and have been coming at things Backward since around the 6th grade, preferring to Observe, Experience, and Correlate things; once I have formed a firm Opinion on something - Anything….I look it up, to see what Others have said. LOL (Woe be unto my teachers in school). I am both spiritual and personal in this one….
Yesterday I talked about how much Easier it is for us to understand the Concrete, yet the abstract is Given to us with every concrete lesson; we just don’t always Think about it! But it’s there……and so often we focus on the Physical things we are “attached” to in life: material possessions, jobs, people, comforts and securities that we can See with our human eyes, touch with our hands, etc. We may even recognize attachments to things Talked about, like “the status quo”, and “how things have always been” – you know, age-old ways of Thinking….but as you may well know, attachments are So much more a part of our lives than we seem able to understand (and give up) quickly; we might say they are like ongoing quests and character additions in a role-playing game. “...Done. *whew* Next Attachment!” Lol
On a personal note, my family goes out into the world every day wearing invisible Battle Gear, having read the paper and watched the news and Knowing what a thoughtless, self-centered, Horrible place this is to live in. Co-workers are Going to be impatient and crabby; store cashiers are Going to be rude and rough with their purchases; other drivers on the road are Going to be angry, rushed and careless. And usually, the kind of day they Expect is the kind of day they Get.
From that standpoint, I almost Never have a bad day. That particular area is easy for “me”: I go out to stores, into jobs, into Life, with ZERO expectations. That does Not mean I think everything will Suck; it means I have No expectations in either direction, positive or negative. I don’t ‘expect’ the salesclerk at a store to be whistling with happiness all day; neither do I think he/she is going to be on his Last Nerve by the time I get there! I go in Wide Open, not expecting Anything, knowing I will just Roll with whatever anyone throws at me….rejoicing when I hear some employee having a Good day; hurting for or commiserating with the one who forgot their lunch, or has a Sick Child at home and had to work Anyway (and Helping them, when I can).
I don’t Believe in bad days, in This way, because I have no Attachments to the outcome of Any daily experience, or situation, where I interact with those I Do Not Know and Love in a Familial Way (….which leads me to my downfalls, the biggest being Myself, lol – I continually desire to be Perfect, failing over and over, and I become my Own worst enemy in that way. But that is Later) HowEver... let it be Family? That’s Another Story, oh yes – I have enough expectations of my Family to fill a Book.
For every Positive, we know there is a Negative – thus the balance of the Universe. The thing Both myself and my family have in common, in this way, is the EXPECTATION.
When someone wrongs us, or wrongs someone we care about, we are quick to feel (or experience), and then provide, the “expected” responses of anger, hurt, etc that may ultimately Keep us on the ‘hamster wheel’ that is Human Thinking.
The Majority of people fall into one of two categories: those who manifest their frustrations on Strangers or others they do not know/care for, and those who manifest frustration on Family and Loved ones (someone please share with me the Name for these two: I Know it’s out there somewhere). I am the type to get frustrated with people Close to me, those I Love as family, because I suddenly Expect them to Act Differently from every other human on the planet. (Why?!)
Why, indeed. Every day, we set ourselves Up for disappointment; we create Expectations that simply Cannot be counted on in an ever-changing life-experience. If we ‘expect’ everyone around us to act in a certain way we are limiting our understanding to This 3D reality only, disregarding free will and, basically, trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I know…it Helps to feel some measure of control; to believe the guy in the car in front of you with a blinker on will actually Turn, or the meal you put in the oven will actually be Done at some point, or that when you get to the bank there will actually be Money for you in your account….nobody wants Chaos, but how do we Handle things when our “expectations” are not met? How Attached are we to the expectations we create?
Dramatic Example: Do we Expect our spouse to come home to us at night? Usually…barring certain circumstances…and why Not? After all, we make Commitments to each other, don’t we? And surely we are within our Rights to expect certain behaviors. And ‘it’s not like the spouse and I haven’t Talked about it’….yeah, see, it’s not About that. Not really.
Throwing away expectations is not About “embracing chaos”; it has Nothing to do with giving our spouse, or children, or anyone Else a “carte blanch” ticket to do Whatever, Whenever. Instead, it has Everything to do with our Own health, our Own release of attachments that give anyone Else control over our Own happiness – our Own peace of mind. As Zen teaches us, it’s about being Fluid in a particle world.
Yes, it all goes back to attachments (doesn’t everything? lol)…as Humans, it is still much easier to accept what we have directly been Taught, Shown or Given. It’s still harder for us to learn “Practical Application of Information” on an everyday basis.
We may be attached to the idea the idea that our clothes are hanging in the closet every morning, right where we left them. We may be attached to thinking we still have Food in our refrigerator; we get comfortable that the Sun will come up every morning, that our car will start, that our children wake up healthy and will go to school today. We are also attached to the knowledge that we are Average, or Rich, or Poor; that “McFoodster” is a Lousy restaurant because of the service; that people will automatically Stare instead of Praying for us if we get into a car wreck at an intersection; that we Must compromise our core values to get the Promotion we want at work, because how Else will we pay for our homes? We may resolve ourselves to the reality that we just Get sick as a result of living, and we go back and forth to our doctor to make it Better; we continue to believe that we are Not in control of our lives, our environment, our future…
….from my narrow, Western perspective, these are things I see; I know there are So many other issues facing people every day, but I endeavor to deal with my attachments and expectations in the best way I know how. Even Here, in my country, many have come to Expect that “someone else” will take care of the poor, or that the organizations that offer Aid to the needy are just as crooked as the Government, so why help them? Or we even expect that our “best” way of helping people is by Blindly giving Money instead of actually Doing anything - thus accomplishing two things: (1) “we” think we have a “quick fix” to make ourselves Feel better by handing out $20 or $50 here and there without really Caring about what it’s doing, or where it’s going, and (2) we get Resentful because “money” represents Control, and we don’t have to do it that way at All.
It’s ironic; here we say “everything” is someone Else’s fault, yet EVERYthing truly is an attachment, and that involves Us. How we perceive ourselves and others. How we receive Every life-experience….our ‘reality’. What if we saw Everything, and Everyone, as we wish others would see Us - with understanding; with compassion; in Perspective?
What if we truly had "no" expectations of this world; What if we just Let It All Go?
Love and Wisdom,
Mary Anne
Yesterday I talked about how much Easier it is for us to understand the Concrete, yet the abstract is Given to us with every concrete lesson; we just don’t always Think about it! But it’s there……and so often we focus on the Physical things we are “attached” to in life: material possessions, jobs, people, comforts and securities that we can See with our human eyes, touch with our hands, etc. We may even recognize attachments to things Talked about, like “the status quo”, and “how things have always been” – you know, age-old ways of Thinking….but as you may well know, attachments are So much more a part of our lives than we seem able to understand (and give up) quickly; we might say they are like ongoing quests and character additions in a role-playing game. “...Done. *whew* Next Attachment!” Lol
On a personal note, my family goes out into the world every day wearing invisible Battle Gear, having read the paper and watched the news and Knowing what a thoughtless, self-centered, Horrible place this is to live in. Co-workers are Going to be impatient and crabby; store cashiers are Going to be rude and rough with their purchases; other drivers on the road are Going to be angry, rushed and careless. And usually, the kind of day they Expect is the kind of day they Get.
From that standpoint, I almost Never have a bad day. That particular area is easy for “me”: I go out to stores, into jobs, into Life, with ZERO expectations. That does Not mean I think everything will Suck; it means I have No expectations in either direction, positive or negative. I don’t ‘expect’ the salesclerk at a store to be whistling with happiness all day; neither do I think he/she is going to be on his Last Nerve by the time I get there! I go in Wide Open, not expecting Anything, knowing I will just Roll with whatever anyone throws at me….rejoicing when I hear some employee having a Good day; hurting for or commiserating with the one who forgot their lunch, or has a Sick Child at home and had to work Anyway (and Helping them, when I can).
I don’t Believe in bad days, in This way, because I have no Attachments to the outcome of Any daily experience, or situation, where I interact with those I Do Not Know and Love in a Familial Way (….which leads me to my downfalls, the biggest being Myself, lol – I continually desire to be Perfect, failing over and over, and I become my Own worst enemy in that way. But that is Later) HowEver... let it be Family? That’s Another Story, oh yes – I have enough expectations of my Family to fill a Book.
For every Positive, we know there is a Negative – thus the balance of the Universe. The thing Both myself and my family have in common, in this way, is the EXPECTATION.
When someone wrongs us, or wrongs someone we care about, we are quick to feel (or experience), and then provide, the “expected” responses of anger, hurt, etc that may ultimately Keep us on the ‘hamster wheel’ that is Human Thinking.
The Majority of people fall into one of two categories: those who manifest their frustrations on Strangers or others they do not know/care for, and those who manifest frustration on Family and Loved ones (someone please share with me the Name for these two: I Know it’s out there somewhere). I am the type to get frustrated with people Close to me, those I Love as family, because I suddenly Expect them to Act Differently from every other human on the planet. (Why?!)
Why, indeed. Every day, we set ourselves Up for disappointment; we create Expectations that simply Cannot be counted on in an ever-changing life-experience. If we ‘expect’ everyone around us to act in a certain way we are limiting our understanding to This 3D reality only, disregarding free will and, basically, trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I know…it Helps to feel some measure of control; to believe the guy in the car in front of you with a blinker on will actually Turn, or the meal you put in the oven will actually be Done at some point, or that when you get to the bank there will actually be Money for you in your account….nobody wants Chaos, but how do we Handle things when our “expectations” are not met? How Attached are we to the expectations we create?
Dramatic Example: Do we Expect our spouse to come home to us at night? Usually…barring certain circumstances…and why Not? After all, we make Commitments to each other, don’t we? And surely we are within our Rights to expect certain behaviors. And ‘it’s not like the spouse and I haven’t Talked about it’….yeah, see, it’s not About that. Not really.
Throwing away expectations is not About “embracing chaos”; it has Nothing to do with giving our spouse, or children, or anyone Else a “carte blanch” ticket to do Whatever, Whenever. Instead, it has Everything to do with our Own health, our Own release of attachments that give anyone Else control over our Own happiness – our Own peace of mind. As Zen teaches us, it’s about being Fluid in a particle world.
Yes, it all goes back to attachments (doesn’t everything? lol)…as Humans, it is still much easier to accept what we have directly been Taught, Shown or Given. It’s still harder for us to learn “Practical Application of Information” on an everyday basis.
We may be attached to the idea the idea that our clothes are hanging in the closet every morning, right where we left them. We may be attached to thinking we still have Food in our refrigerator; we get comfortable that the Sun will come up every morning, that our car will start, that our children wake up healthy and will go to school today. We are also attached to the knowledge that we are Average, or Rich, or Poor; that “McFoodster” is a Lousy restaurant because of the service; that people will automatically Stare instead of Praying for us if we get into a car wreck at an intersection; that we Must compromise our core values to get the Promotion we want at work, because how Else will we pay for our homes? We may resolve ourselves to the reality that we just Get sick as a result of living, and we go back and forth to our doctor to make it Better; we continue to believe that we are Not in control of our lives, our environment, our future…
….from my narrow, Western perspective, these are things I see; I know there are So many other issues facing people every day, but I endeavor to deal with my attachments and expectations in the best way I know how. Even Here, in my country, many have come to Expect that “someone else” will take care of the poor, or that the organizations that offer Aid to the needy are just as crooked as the Government, so why help them? Or we even expect that our “best” way of helping people is by Blindly giving Money instead of actually Doing anything - thus accomplishing two things: (1) “we” think we have a “quick fix” to make ourselves Feel better by handing out $20 or $50 here and there without really Caring about what it’s doing, or where it’s going, and (2) we get Resentful because “money” represents Control, and we don’t have to do it that way at All.
It’s ironic; here we say “everything” is someone Else’s fault, yet EVERYthing truly is an attachment, and that involves Us. How we perceive ourselves and others. How we receive Every life-experience….our ‘reality’. What if we saw Everything, and Everyone, as we wish others would see Us - with understanding; with compassion; in Perspective?
What if we truly had "no" expectations of this world; What if we just Let It All Go?
Love and Wisdom,
Mary Anne
