FEELING OVERWHELMED AND VERY SCARED (EARTHQUAKES DREAM)

[cyberangel]

Dear Karen

Sorry I have been away from chat and forum for a bit but we have been away and only back so please forgive my absence.

I REALLY hope you can help me with this as I have had a very restless night dreaming of earthquakes and aftershocks, I have woke up feeling very tearful, extremely uneasy and filled with trepidations after the 3rd dream.

Let me start by saying this is does not feel like my usual warning dreams about the outside world...this feels like a personal ‘warning’ and has really shaken me up (excuse the pun). The 2 dreams (my dad was in one of the dreams) previously to this last one are all mixed up and all have earthquakes in them and I can’t explain them like I can this last one so I will just go with this one...but all 3 dreams happened one after the other right through last night.

My last dream starts like this...

My hubby, son and I are driving up this very steep hill in a strange city. We are happy and looking forward to our journey and I am driving...a little on the fast side but we are fine...then all of a sudden the road on which we are travelling on suddenly drops and we are left briefly in mid air and then suddenly the car drops down onto the road with a bump....We can’t continue to travel up the road because the road has cracked and no one can cross it so we start to roll backwards...there is a lot of fear and loss of control...I do my best to steer us to safety which I achieve and we end up at the bottom of the hill along with all the other cars and people...everyone is shaken up and in shock and doesn’t know what has happened...a guy shouts over “it’s an aftershock”...I think to myself if this is an aftershock I would hate to experience the earthquake. When at the bottom we try to drive back the way we travelled....but find that the road has sank by about 6-8foot and the fresh earth is too soft to try and drive on...all of a sudden a big jeep like/off road vehicle with large wheels starts to drive up and in doing so makes a path for our car wheels to drive on...we manage to get nearly to the top when some large stones stop us...we get out of the car and bring as much stuff with us as possible...food, clothes etc...(at this point the dream visually looks very post apocalyptic) I say to my family to bring as much as we can carry especially the food and water...I am carrying a carton of half a doz eggs but one is missing...I am trying to keep these eggs safe and not to drop or break them...the focus is all on these 5 eggs as I climb and walk over the uneven terrain....there are people all around in shock and disbelief...but all I can focus on is this cardboard carton of eggs...as if our lives depends on them...I then wake up.

Okay now I want to try and explain a few things that may help with the dream interpretation. We (my hubby, my son and I) have been away camping and only came back this week. And during that time we did do a lot of driving, travelling around...exploring the countryside and villages...sometimes we felt lost (not great for signposts in some parts of Ireland) but always enjoyed our discoveries and new surroundings. I did the driving and we did go up one steep hill/mountain while we were gone. We also did have a carton of eggs with 5 in it...but why that would have significance in my dream is anyone’s guess.

Last night my brother and I attended a ‘night with spirit’ part of a holistic fair. 3 mediums were there giving messages. My brother received 2 messages from his friends who had passed over and I received one from my Nanna, which I knew all day she was going to come through that night. Anyway at the end of the night, one the of mediums called me to one side and started talking to me. He said he could sense that I am a healer but I am too afraid to use my gift. He asked me was I afraid of spirit and I said quite the opposite...he said I am very closed off...as I sat with my feet and arms crossed all night....I explained that was a way of keeping a barrier around myself otherwise I would be inundated with all the spirits and emotions in the room. He said I did not trust myself to be open enough...I said I did trust myself I was just afraid of being overwhelmed by it all and wanted to enjoy the night without having to unwillingly take part/or become part of it from my chair...he said I was afraid and did not trust myself...he went onto other stuff which he was very accurate about...my inner child etc. Said my inner child is the one that is afraid and that I must free her and by me crossing my arms and legs I was protecting her.

Anyway without going into everything he said, and he said a lot...he did touch on some very sensitive stuff which I immediately put up a barrier...I don’t know if he knew or not I did with some of the questions but it was like he could see right inside me and reach to them parts I had closed off years ago. All the way home I was thinking about what he had said to me. To embrace the inner child to not be afraid of what others think of my gifts...to continue to grow and more importantly USE my healing gifts instead of fearing them. Anyway I feel all this created this ‘earthquake’ inside me and really frightened me and shook me up.

I am still feeling very emotional after the dream and so uneasy and I cant stop crying. I’m sooo afraid something awful is going to happen to knock me off my feet and I won’t be expecting it and I don’t want to live in fear...but at the same time if this dream is a warning I want to be prepared...as forewarned is forearmed as they say. Gosh I feel so vulnerable right now and defenceless and I’m so scared....like really scared like my stomach is in huge knot inside. I am so afraid that someone close to me is going to die without warning....its like that sort of feeling. Logically I can piece together things that would trigger the dream/s but emotionally I feel a complete wreck! Please help me Karen.

Love and Light

[sparklekaz]

Hi Lorraine,

I've just seen your dream but I have to go out. I will answer it today. In the meantime I want you to do some self healing. I will send you some distance reiki also. Drink plenty of water. And try to relax. Trust me when I say this is more about the fear of loss & change then the reality of losing someone close. Will get back to it as soon as I'm able. Take care my friend.

Love and light
Kaz

[cyberangel]

Oh thank you Karen I will do exactly as you say...I'll do it right now. I also have to go out later as my brother has arranged a private reading with one of them but I am not going for a reading as im afraid of what it may stir up inside of me. Thanks again my dear friend. Gonna go now drink water and do my self healing. Please God that will help. Thank you for the distance healing my friend I will also send you some. God Bless xxx

[donq]

Hi Lorraine,

While we are waiting for Karen, let me say something, as a sidekick (not psychic). :-)

Hmm…I don’t know much about dream interpretation, but I had interpreted on I Ching for almost 2 decades, maybe it might help you think of something.

I think what you said is the very key:
“I am carrying a carton of half a doz eggs but one is missing...I am trying to keep these eggs safe and not to drop or break them...the focus is all on these 5 eggs as I climb and walk over the uneven terrain....there are people all around in shock and disbelief...but all I can focus on is this cardboard carton of eggs...as if our lives depends on them...I then wake up.”

“I did the driving and we did go up one steep hill/mountain while we were gone. We also did have a carton of eggs with 5 in it...but why that would have significance in my dream is anyone’s guess.”
Yes, it seems number 5 is significant here. What is it?

Or 1 in the 6, what is it?

Here again:

“3 mediums were there giving messages. My brother received 2 messages from his friends who had passed over and I received one from my Nanna”

3 + 2 (5) and 1

I do believe that it was not a bad omen. If it was, it would be so different than this. It seemed like you are going to deal with your inner core. It might be good if you could embrace it. But it should not be bad if you could not. As I already said, it’s not a bad omen.

[cyberangel]

Thank you monty for your kindness and reassuring. ..I have just finished my self healing now and I wanted to say I am feeling a lot better now and I am reading your text monty and as I lie here on the bed...I got a sudden smell of not rotten eggs but like fermented eggs...a bit like gas or methane smell...I suddenly remember the candle with the angel i lit and placed beside the bed before i started the healing and i just jumped up to see if I had knocked the candle over by mistake beside the bed...and my candle had been extinguished and not by me. The wax is still warm and soft to the touch but no way did I blow it out because I forgot it was lit as I lay down...how strange I could have so easily caught the pillow al8ght. I must admit I do feel a lot calmer after the healing and had sone wonderful colours come through during. I cant believe that candle was put out for me. I just love it when things like that happen. Feeling so much calmer now. Thank you both again. Karen please dont rush now with this as the healing has definately helped me loads...but as soon as you get a chance I would love your interpretation and advice. Thank you again so so much...sorry about being so Histericial earlier...I just felt so overwhelmed by the 3 dreams altogether. Love and light xxx

[sparklekaz]

Dear Lorraine,

I'm so glad you are feeling calmer. I am not surprised you were feeling so upset by the dream, particularly as it was one of three dreams along the same theme. This in itself tells me that the dream theme held an important message for you. The universe certainly made sure you got it, they sent it to you 'three times' didn't they.

It was helpful that you explained that you and your family had been away camping. Traveling over terrain similar to the ones you describe in your dream. As I have probably mentioned before in previous dream interpretations. Our dreams are very multifaceted. They are made up of our daytime experiences, recent memories, what we have read, what we have heard or seen on the news or in the media, as well as all the many signals and information we pick up from the people around us and our environment, on an unconscious level, every single day. All these things bleed into our dreamscape. On top of this, we have the symbolic imagery, which can be psychological as well as spiritual.

Now let us look at your dream. As you know on one level dream characters are an aspect of the dreamer. The husband symbolises the masculine part of self. These are qualities you project onto the husband, or it can be about your perception of your relationship with your husband. On another level, in life he represents your anchor and support, as I'm sure you represent for him. Your son symbolises, again the masculine part of self, or qualities projected outward onto him. A reflection of the nature of your relationship with your son, and this aspect within yourself. I know it sounds a little complicated. But it is really all about the different aspects of you, female, male, yin yang. The strengths, qualities and traits that the different genders embody, are all within you.

The three of you are travelling in a car. Car's symbolise the personal energy of the dreamer. You are driving, ergo, you are in control. You are in a strange city. Cities represent intense networking of people, or parts of the self. Can indicate a need, desire within you to bring together, the different aspects of yourself that may be out of balance. You are driving up a steep hill. Hills in dreams represent opportunities for spiritual growth. So to me the steep hill, indicates you are currently experiencing a steep rapid learning curve in this area. In waking life are you currently engaged in trying to do just that? Bringing together the very different parts of your life? Or parts of yourself that are at odds. This maybe connected to some deep conflict between your religious upbringing and your burgeoning spiritual gifts of mediumship?

You are driving quite fast. This indicates symbolically you have been moving along the path of life quickly. Then the ground disappears beneath you. Have you been moving too fast? Racing through certain aspects of your spiritual practice without fully adjusting to the changes it has wrought within you. This can be physical, emotional, spiritual and energetically? Has something happened that made you stop suddenly? This could be fear of the unknown. Fear of the opinions of other's. Sometimes when we experience rapid development of spiritual gifts, it can suddenly become very real, and a bit scary. We wonder are we ready. Do we have the inner resources, knowledge, to continue. The cracks in the road, might symbolize the chinks in your emotional armour. Your inner fears and lack of confidence that you can cope. The car starts to roll backwards. In life, do you feel you are going backwards? Do you feel that the progress you had been making has stopped? Do you see where I'm going with this? As you say in the next part, 'there is fear and loss of control'. Something has happened to make you afraid, to worry that you are no longer in control of what you are doing.

Earthquakes represent changes in life. The bigger the earthquake the bigger the change. The aftershocks, might indicate that the affect of a change in your life are being felt. Has anything happened recently, that's changed your normal routine? It might also indicate that you yourself are afraid of change, fear a negative impact on your life if things change too much or to any great degree? I get the feeling, that you feel very responsible for other people in your life. Not just your husband and son. And worry that any changes you make will have an impact on them. I do feel that the aftershocks are connected to this, or to something that has happened in the past, that is still having an affect on you all.

You try to drive back the way you came. But you cannot. The road has sunk. This is telling you, you cannot go back, only forward in life. Things have changed, you are changed. A big machine starts to pave a way forward for you. This is your inner strength. It will come to the surface. The stones ahead that you see also represent strength, and also grounding. This maybe the message for you in your dream. Strength, which you have, but need to believe in and bring more to the surface. Grounding - having a strong earth connection, will help you with your spiritual practice. I feel you have been too much in the head. Your crown, brow and heart chakra's have become oversensitive. Do some chakra cleansing and balancing meditations. Make sure you close your crown chakra properly when you finish your meditations or spiritual practice. Use your auric shield properly. You've become hyper sensitive. You've made great progress, but lack the experience and knowledge about how to fine tune your psychic/spiritual gifts and turn them off or down when you don't want to be connected. Go back to basics. Then move forward.

You are carrying half a dozen eggs, but one is missing. The number 5 symbolizes change taking place now, or very soon. This reinforces the dream is about change. Inner change and outer change. Because one naturally follows the other. Eggs symbolize the seeds of a new life, ready to open.

A lot of symbolism and information in this dream Lorraine. I hope what I have said has helped. Please remember this is only my interpretation of your dream. Please only take from it that which resonates or is meaningful to you and leave the rest. I would appreciate your feedback.

Love and light
Kaz

[cyberangel]

Hi Karen,

First of all thank you so much for this welcome interpretation of my dream. I also want to apologise for sounding so desperate yesterday when I posted it...I was desperate and worried at the time, as the dream felt like an unexpected and unpleasant omen. Many hours later and especially after the self healing, I felt much more grounded and was finally able to get a grip on myself.

My dreams have become very vivid this past few weeks and when I awake it often feels like I have been living a parallel life somewhere else...and then when I awake the dream feels more like recent memories rather than dreams, if you get me. Anyway I have to say it has been some time since I felt like that after a dream and I probably should have left it a few hours or a day before I posted but wow this dream was extremely powerful and yes, I very much felt helpless and so vulnerable...it was more the vulnerability that worried me most thinking back on it now.

You have defiantly hit on a good few points there in your interpretation. I have actually stepped back from everything ‘Spiritual’ the last month, not for any reason really more just to try and chill out for a bit and I suppose to catch up on this side of life, I certainly have not been eager to rush things on the spiritual side, quite the opposite if truth is told. I did this naturally and unconsciously.

What I mean is I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to take a break or anything, I just missed a few days of meditation and before I knew it a week or so had gone by, then life just took grip of me and I decided to go with the flow. Things actually quietened down for me spiritually and I must be honest I felt a little lighter, just enjoying life and being content with who and what I am, as a person, not a soul or spirit within a body, but a living human being.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t turn my back on my gifts or my beliefs, I just enjoyed living again without the whole spiritual developing and seeking side being a prominent part of my life. I agree with you that I do tend to spend a lot of time in my thoughts and I do, at times, tend to over analyse especially where my spiritual development is concerned, but again that is because I do doubt myself at times, well not so much myself, but my ability and strength at going forward.

I think what you said regarding about not going back, is very true, but not in the way you may first think. I think I have enjoyed ‘ignoring’ the spiritual side of me, and have become perhaps a little too relaxed in living life again, that I have found it hard to return to my meditations etc. So in that regards your interpretation makes absolute sense to me. I also must admit that I have said to myself, it’s not difficult to walk away from all that, but in reality, it is.

It is true that I am scared of developing this new gift, because I don’t feel ready. All I want is to love people and to help people, but I am afraid that I could make a mistake with information or my interpretations and yes to a point I doubt myself. I don’t like to put myself out there as that is where I feel most vulnerable. First to admit I have this gift and second to use it.

Yes, you are also correct that a lot of this comes from the religious conditioning from such a young age. When I used to read people’s hands for them (as a teen) a super religious friend of the family, picked me up one day in her car and drove me to her house, where she took out the bible and underlined all the bad things I was doing, pointed out to me that what I had, was not a gift from God but a curse from the devil, and that I must stop it immediately. This lady really scared me and so I doubted myself and I was afraid people would see me as a bad person, so I did turn my back on my ability for a lot of years. I was confused and afraid and alone.

It was later in my early 20’s that my gift strengthened and branched out into other areas. Where I could see people’s ‘Glow’ around them and get images in my head of their lives. I also turned my back on this, especially after a friend died and I felt immense guilt for not telling his brother what I saw, when he asked me before his brother passed. I never told him that I saw his young brother die in my head, because I was unsure at the time, what the image meant, but nevertheless the guilt of saying nothing left its scar. So I turned my back on it and vowed never to use it again.

After awhile the images and feelings stopped and I could be normal again. But again I would have dreams of events and tragedies around the world, fires, earthquakes, tornados, avalanches, plane crashes etc....I would wake up exhausted and powerless to help and I would wait for the news to come on, and it always did and my dreams would always re appear in the headlines. My mother and father never doubted me but never encouraged me either to develop this. They would often laugh when I would run to answer the phone before it would ring. There were some fun moments but a lot of it was not fun, it was frightening and almost like torture, simply because I was helpless to do anything. I often thought what is the point of all this. A lot of this I have never shared with them or anyone as I didn’t want to burden them and make them feel helpless too.

Many many years later when we were having a terrible time with a family member’s health, the angels starting speaking and appearing to me. I could hear them audibly and see them in meditation and dreams. But for the first time, I felt a support and a comfort. I loved them and loved the feeling they gave me when they would visit or come around me. They still are there but as I said earlier this year, they have backed off a little to allow me to develop other gifts. They still let me know that they are around but I can’t hear them as much as I would like.

Anyway Karen, sorry for rabbiting on I just wanted to try and explain what I feel you touched on. I feel the medium picked up on something within me and was accurate when he said that the young girl inside was afraid, that made complete sense, and some of the things he said obviously touched my subconscious and hence the dreams.

I have to accept that I can’t go back, i’ve tried and failed on so many times, I have this gift and its true I don’t know how to control it or how to develop it properly. I don’t feel ready and I am scared, but I’m not scared of spirit like he thought I was, I am scared of allowing myself to develop. I hope all this makes sense. I also really do feel extremely vulnerable writing all this down, as its like I am exposing myself and that does not make me feel very comfortable. But maybe in order to move on, I must.

I must be honest with you but most of all be honest with myself. I haven’t even touched the tip of the iceburg so to speak, with all I have shared here, and there is so much more, but its very hard to share it all at once. The medium said that I am a natural healer but that I don’t want to see myself as being special, but he said I am. He said I have a power that can do so much good but I or rather the inner child is too scared to use it. I hope all this has made sense to you or that you can understand what I am trying to say. I think this maybe probably why my hands and feet get super hot at times because there is a build up of energy inside.

A lot of what you said makes complete sense and I can totally relate to an awful lot of it, but its the opposite of what you thought, that I was pushing or rushing to fast with my spiritual development, it was how I was subconsciously trying to run away, and the dream was trying to get my attention to this fact. I also feel the box of eggs represents a part of me that is missing or a part that I don’t want to develop or a part that is lost. Once again I hope this makes sense and that I am not over analysing, but I actually feel like I have put down a heavy bag, by writing all this down. I hope I don’t regret sharing this tomorrow. Thank you thank you thank you as always Karen. You are amazing and much of what you have said I can totally relate to. Thank you again and Thank you for just listening.

Love and Light my dear friend xxx

[sparklekaz]

Hi Lorraine,

I'm really glad that some of what I got resonated with you. I'm also glad you felt able to share your thoughts and feelings about your spiritual growth. I really feel writing things down, can help things seem much clearer. It also brings to the surface things we might not have thought about and we start to see relevant connections. I don't know if you keep a diary, but I really feel that would help you.

Try to keep a written record of those vivid dreams. I think you will see a pattern start to emerge. You can also look back at a later date and see how your day time experiences and interactions manifest themselves in your dreams. I really believe a lot of information and guidance from the higher self, comes through in this way.

Take good care of yourself my friend. You have a lot to offer and when the time feels right you will just do it naturally. I know how hard it is to overcome early conditioning and beliefs. I have had the same struggle myself, being brought up as a good catholic girl. There are some things that are really ingrained. But I tell myself that anything that is done in the spirit of love and service to others, cannot be bad. If it felt wrong, we would not be so strongly drawn to follow this path, because it would go against our natures. We are very alike in this respect Lorraine.

Love and light
Kaz

[cyberangel]

Thank you Karen and thanks for the chat although short it was lovely chatting to a friendly face (soul) again
I think that is a great idea about the diary as I did used to keep one years ago but gave up on it when family came along, but I think I will start again. I also used to write my dreams down so I must start that again and I agree you do see a pattern over time with dreams and yes outside influences out inner spirit. Yes that is actually a great way to look at it...I like that very much what you said Karen:

"There are some things that are really ingrained. But I tell myself that anything that is done in the spirit of love and service to others, cannot be bad. If it felt wrong, we would not be so strongly drawn to follow this path, because it would go against our natures."

Thank you once again.

Love and Light

[donq]

Hi Kaz,

Wow! That was a great and authentic dream interpretation!

[donq]

Hi Angel,

First, let me thank you for sharing so delicate stuff of yours. I do know if anyone did that he/she would feel very vulnerable (I did that many time, so I do know. But I'm a crazy man. ) But the point of sharing is to “connect” with someone or “something beyond us” even that might make us feel vulnerable at first but the wonderful thing is somehow we will feel more connect with our high selves because of that (even someone might or might not understand us.) So, sharing works both ways: for other and ourselves.

Yesterday I could not use the internet on my PC notebook all day. The strange thing was I still could use it via my spare computer (old Macintosh notebook, very small keyboard ). This happened from time to time. The first time it did, I searched more information and tried to fix it by unticking “Protocol TCP/IP”, restart my PC, then tick it again and restart (again.) It worked! Still don’t know why. But it only worked only that time.
The strange thing was it was the same LAN line. Why did it work for my Mac but not my PC?
Oh!, sorry for my diversion. My point is that meant any kind of a (bad) sign? I mean what was the best way I should do in that kind of situation? Trying to fix it with all my time and effort? Or just stop trying and wait?
Today I can use the internet on my PC notebook again, without doing anything about it!
I didn’t mean we should ignore some serious problems with a hope that its solution will come to us by itself. I only meant sometimes, wait and see is still the best solution. Yes, if today I still cannot use the internet on my PC, then, I have to fix it here, on my PC, because this is the real problem.

Anyway, what I want to say is about the interpretation (not only dream). Let me start with what you said:

“I have actually stepped back from everything ‘Spiritual’ the last month, not for any reason really more just to try and chill out for a bit and I suppose to catch up on this side of life, I certainly have not been eager to rush things on the spiritual side, quite the opposite if truth is told. I did this naturally and unconsciously…
“I have actually stepped back from everything ‘Spiritual’ the last month, not for any reason really more just to try and chill out for a bit and I suppose to catch up on this side of life, I certainly have not been eager to rush things on the spiritual side, quite the opposite if truth is told. I did this naturally and unconsciously.
“What I mean is I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to take a break or anything, I just missed a few days of meditation and before I knew it a week or so had gone by, then life just took grip of me and I decided to go with the flow. Things actually quietened down for me spiritually and I must be honest I felt a little lighter, just enjoying life and being content with who and what I am, as a person, not a soul or spirit within a body, but a living human being…
“Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t turn my back on my gifts or my beliefs, I just enjoyed living again without the whole spiritual developing and seeking side being a prominent part of my life…”

I can relate to that and really understand.
I had done my personal research on I Ching; got more than 70 versions of it (books), tons of photocopies, and so many ebooks on it; did its interpretation everyday for almost 25 years; even wrote one book about it (it was reprinted 5 times now) ; then one day (5-6 years ago) I just stopped reading/doing any interpretation about it (both for myself and for others.) I stopped not because it was not authentic. But I did stop because it was so authentic! You understand what I mean, right? It’s a kind of “I’m full” and can’t take it any more. Besides, I was a bit afraid of interfering the heaven's course (overstepping the boundaries of right) like I used to do before! (Had been there and done that so many times., maybe too many.)
Please don’t get me wrong, I had leant a great lesson from the interpretation of I Ching that:

“Events follow definite trends, each according to its nature. Things are distinguished from one another in definite classes. In this way good fortune and misfortune come about.”

What are good fortune and misfortune, then?

“Good fortune and misfortune are the images of gain and loss; remorse and humiliation are the images of sorrow and forethought. When the trend of an action is in harmony with the laws of the universe, it leads to attainment of the desired goal; this is expressed as ‘Good fortune.’

“If the trend is in opposition to the laws of the universe, it necessarily leads to loss; this is indicated as ‘Misfortune.’

“There are also trends that do not lead directly to a goal but are rather what might be called deviations in direction. However, if a trend has been wrong, and we feel sorrow in time, we can avoid misfortune; if we turn back, we can still achieve good fortune. This situation is indicated as a ‘Remorse’ which contains an exhortation to feel sorrow and turn back

“On the other hand, a given trend may have been right at the start, but one may become indifferent and arrogant, and heedlessly slip from good fortune into misfortune. This is indicated as ‘Humiliation.’ Then, we have to beware of this admonition and exercise forethought, to check oneself when on the wrong path and turn back to good fortune.”

It seems that good fortune and misfortune are less significant for me now. I honestly feel indifferent. Yes, good fortune is still good. But misfortune is not that bad. And whenever good fortune comes, then, that only means misfortune is following it, doesn’t it? Night will follow day, will it not? And day will follow night. Always.

Confucius who wrote the great commentary on I Ching (it was said he read/studied I Ching everyday and had to change its binding thread there times) said:

“At 15 I set my heart on learning; at 30 I firmly took my stand; at 40 I had no delusions; at 50 I knew the Mandate of Heaven; at 60 my ear was attuned; at 70 I followed my heart's desire without overstepping the boundaries of right.”

I hope that when I were 70, (if I could live that long ) I could follow my heart's desire without overstepping the boundaries of right.  

[cyberangel]

Dear Monty,

Thank you so much and I will reply as soon as I get chance just rushing around a bit at the moment, so it may be this evening before I get a chance, but I wanted to thank you so much for this. I cant wait to reply my friend. Take care

Love and Light

[sparklekaz]

Hi Monty,

I really enjoyed reading this, and would love to know more about the I Ching. If you get time, can you explain a little more about it, and how the readings are done. I'm very impressed that you wrote a book on the subject, you are very modest about what you have done in your life, for it to have been reprinted 5 times, it must have been enormously popular. So you are the very best person, to tell us all more about it.

Thank you again for sharing

Love and light
Kaz

[sparklekaz]

Many apologies Monty, I must be as blind as a bat this morning lol I just noticed you have written something already on the forum about the I Ching. I can't believe I missed it, as I see it's been on for some time. I will be reading it now with great interest. Be prepared for some questions

Love and light
Kaz

[donq]

Hi Kaz,

Hahaha. It was not that popular. It was reprinted 5 times in…urh…15-18 years.
But that already made me proud, at least, all my time, effort (and lots of money for my personal research) was worth reading for my readers. Anyway, for the last 4-5 years, no one seems to be interested in it any more.
I would be glad if you (or anyone) want to to ask anything about it. Hope I'm not already become rusty.

[cyberangel]

Dear Monty,

Thank you very much for your lovely reply and wonderful analogy. I loved when you said

“...the point of sharing is to “connect” with someone or “something beyond us”...”

This is very true and you really highlighted that for me. I thought I was ‘offloading’ some stuff that was all built up for years inside, but in actual fact, after reading your words, that’s it...I was actually reaching out for someone or something, so you very (perceptively) and sensitively made me understand that, Thank you

I loved your little story about your PC and it was a wonderful way of saying everything works in time, don’t go fixing something that may not be broke but allow a pause, to give things a chance to naturally sort themselves out, or at least allow enough time to figure out whether a thing is broken or not before jumping in to fix it

Monty, when you shared your experience of stepping back from your ‘I Ching’ studies and teachings, this was the most potent comment for me within all you said...

“I stopped not because it was not authentic. But I did stop because it was so authentic! You understand what I mean, right? It’s a kind of “I’m full” and can’t take it any more. Besides, I was a bit afraid of interfering the heaven's course...”

Yes my dear friend, I know exactly what you mean, but even more so, I know that YOU know and UNDERSTAND what I mean, but you expressed it far better than I, and that is precisely how I feel at the moment “FULL”, that I am incapable to taking in anymore...for now... but when the ‘time’ is right, whenever that may be, I will return, which was always my intention, but it also felt good to just let go of it all...for a bit anyway ; )

Often there is a great deal of pressure in spiritual growth, a bit like in life, everything takes time...time to realise, to accept, to learn and to finally master. I did buy 2 books many years ago one on Runes and the other on I, Ching. I found the runes interesting and used them for some time but alas I was never able to get my head around I, Ching. I found it very complicated to decipher and understand. Maybe I was not ready at that time for this wonderful tool but I will look up what you have posted here in the forum at some point. Well done you for such a great accomplishment in first of all, writing a book and putting all that knowledge into written work, but secondly, having your book reprinted FIVE times...WOW!

Finally, just a short personal note to you my friend, I want to sincerely thank you for your friendship and support. I think it is extremely important to let those who mean a great deal to us, know how much we value their friendship and how much we care. All here have shown me this in one way or another, but none more so than you and Karen, and I wanted to thank you both from the bottom of my heart and even more so, my soul, for being there for not only me but for the countless many others that come through the ‘chat and forum’ doors.

I spoke to Karen last night in chat and on the forum about how much I value her friendship and I wanted to do the same for you. You are such an insightful, thoughtful, genuine and humble person, whether you realise this or not. You may not even know how much you actually contribute to others lives. As I said last night in chat, you are like a breath of fresh air, with your comments and posts, and you always, ALWAYS come across as someone who genuinely cares, and that my most precious friend is a beautiful thing.

I will leave it there now my friend as I don’t want to get too mushy LOL, but life is short and sometimes we often regret not saying the things we wish we had. Hearing the very sad news today of one of my favourite actors Robin Williams untimely death, made me really think about this. I hope he knew how much he was loved, I’m sure he did and he has certainly earned his Angel Wings tonight in Heaven. Anyway, I just wanted to seize the moment and to sincerely thank you, from one soul to another.

Love and Light

PS.
LASTLY...YOU ARE NOT A CRAZY MAN
You have a wealth of information and despite the language diversity you express yourself beautifully and with great feeling and depth. Thank You.

[donq]

Hi Lorraine,

I’m really appreciate your friendship. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Sometimes I even asked myself “what’s wrong with you (and Karen)?” I mean most women (if not all) would misunderstand me in one way or another (I've really got used to it) But both of you do not. You really understand who I am. That’s very strange!
I have to say that, after I found this forum and known our friends here, this is one of the best time in my life. I really feel more joyful and peaceful as I never had before for years.
Thanks. 

[donq]

Hi Lorraine,

You said, “LASTLY...YOU ARE NOT A CRAZY MAN.”

Hmm…I have to insist that I AM. The below is my proof.

Just found this photo and known how to share it via photobucket. It was around 6-7 years ago. I was (and still am)a camera phobia. That was an auto-shot of me and my second personal library in my old apartment (lost it again after my second divorce. ) Lucky that I still could save most of my books.

For your eyes, only, please. I will deleter this photo tomorrow. Sorry that I have to crop it (and could not see most of my books) as I didn't wear any shirt that time.

[cyberangel]

Hi Monty,

WOW...now I can see where you get your wealth of knowledge I thought I was bad for books lol. This photo reminds me of my father in law's study in Hong Kong...believe it or not he has close to double your amount of books along with journals...all on BIRDWATCHING LOL. Not quite my taste in reading material but there are a few titles on your bookshelf that I would love to look through. I was surprised to see so many English titles and I thought they would probably all be in Thai so now I see why you are so good with the English language My next question is have you read them all? I still don't think you are crazy, I mean if you collected cats or something like that then I would re-think, but my friend you are a gift to the forum with all your study and knowledge and I, along with others, love your stories along with your wise words. Thank you for sharing...BTW I also really dislike my photo taken, as I am very camera shy, so well done you for sharing, thank you again my friend.

Love and Light

[donq]

Hi Lorraine,

Have I read them all? You got me! I read them all but not all pages (Come on, they are in English!) But I’m not a kind of a book collector either (for pleasure.) Life was so tough for me, (have you ever known anyone who divorced twice and lost his house to his ex twice? ) so I wanted to find some decent pleasure in my life by losing myself into those pages.
Nay, that was too distressful, let me try again. 30 years ago, there was no internet here. And I could not go to a nearby library every time I need to find something, say, just the meaning of only one word. So I had to buy them again (and again). Besides, I bought most of my books just because I could not find them in any library (believe me, I went to almost all libraries here and I never mind about photocopies/Xerox because it was a lot cheaper than a real book.) More than that, as for the price of one English book, I could buy more than 6-8 new books in Thai. The problem was there was not such book in Thai (even today).
I read and love my books because they are my friends and teachers. :-)
Let me end by quoting from the preface of the book “A Calendar of Wisdom” by Tolstoy (which I already translated it 3-4 years ago):
This was Leo Tolstoy’s last major work. With it, he fulfilled a dream he had nourished for almost fifteen years, that of “collecting the wisdom of the centuries in one book” meant for a general audience. Tolstoy put a huge amount of effort into its creation, preparing three revised editions between 1904 and 1910. It was his own favorite everyday reading, a book he would turn to regularly for the rest of his life.

He wrote in his diary on March 15, 1884: “I have to create a circle of reading for myself: Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, Lao-Tzu, Buddha, Pascal, The New Testament. This is also necessary for all people.”

“I know that it gives one great inner force, calmness, and happiness to communicate with such great thinkers as Socrates, Epictetus, Arnold, Parker…They tell us about what is most important for humanity, about the meaning of life and about virtue…I would like to create a book…in which I could tell a person about his life, and about the Good Way of Life.”

The process of collecting these thoughts took over fifteen years!

Tolstoy wrote in his diary: “I felt that I have been elevated to great spiritual and moral heights by communication with the best and wisest people whose books I read and whose thoughts I selected for my Circle of Reading.”

From its first publication, the book was always present on Tolstoy’s desk; it became his favorite book during the last five years of his life.
On May 16, 1908, he wrote to a man named Gusev: “I cannot understand how some people can live without communicating with the wisest people who ever lived on Earth?...I feel very happy every day, because I read this book.”

P.S. One day I would love to ask how you met your husband.

[sparklekaz]

I can see you are a man after my own heart Monty. I love my books in exactly the same way. They are my teachers, my friends and my inspiration. They never let you down. In their pages I can lose myself and feel safe. I can shut out all my worries. I can travel the world and find myself in a whole new different way. I have loved them since I first learned to read, and have several hundred in my collection to date. Over the years there have been literally thousands. When I left home at 22, under a cloud (another story) my mother gave away, sold and burnt all my books, and I had to start again. It broke my heart. But, old favourites we can always find again, and I am of a mind, that books are a bit like people, they come into our lives for a reason, and sometimes they cannot stay, or need to circulate to be read by other's whose need is greater then ours.

[cyberangel]

I also love to 'loose' myself in a good book or enjoy a meaningful story, but I also love poems, they are my first love.

I think sometimes poetry is like a lovesong for the heart. Certain verses can just grab you and pull your heart strings so tight and before you know it, you are there mopping up the pool of love that has just poured from your eyes. It's not all poetry I like either, I like the ones where the words dance from the page and straight into your heart or soul, and you become part of the prose! I love the way a poem can awaken your deepest feelings and connect you to the author's energy, to truly, not only read the lines, but to 'feel' them, that is what I enjoy most. I suppose that is why I also like stories with morals to them, I love the way some stories can make you think a different way or can deepen your level of understanding by simply reading the lines or in some cases 'between' the lines.

That is why can often feel so much from the written word than the spoken one if you get me, but when someone can 'add' music to words, then I am lost and powerless and completely captured, as not only have you the energy of the word but the vibration of the music, and that my friends is so powerful. Sorry I wandered off there for a bit, but hopefully you know what I mean.

I cant say I ever viewed books as my friends, I never saw them that way, I often saw them as guides or teachers, but what a beautiful way of looking at them, as friends. Maybe I should venture up into our dusty attic and awaken some sleeping 'friends' I have up there

Another thing is you never feel alone with a book, but yet so many say..."I want to be alone with my book". I wish I did not have a head like a sieve and could remember all the beauties I have read throughout the years. I would love to be like you both Monty and Karen where you can 'quote' from books you have read, unless I have read something recently, I simply forget, not because the book was forgettable, but I guess its because my mind is just not disciplined or programed to remember Don't get me wrong I can remember stories and such but their titles or authors just seems to slip my mind no matter how hard I try and remember, but at least their meaning stays with me

[donq]

Hi Karen,

Yes, you are a woman after my own heart, too (that’s from the bible, right?) Yes, we really shared the same feeling about books, especially, heartbroken experience (yep! my mother did the very same thing to my first library, all of them were Thai books, when I left home around the same age as yours, to live in a forest temple for years. She sold or dumped them all in the garbage, I still don't know (didn't have courage to ask her. lol)
Thanks, Karen, for sharing your story. Somehow I feel better that I’m not alone about this.

P.S. Again, I could not help but think of this joke:
He pulls out a pack of cigarettes and offers her one. She says "You're a man after my own heart!"
He says, "it's not your heart I'm after."

[donq]

Hi Lorraine,

You wrote:

"I also love poems, they are my first love.
"I think sometimes poetry is like a lovesong for the heart. Certain verses can just grab you and pull your heart strings so tight and before you know it, you are there mopping up the pool of love that has just poured from your eyes. It's not all poetry I like either, I like the ones where the words dance from the page and straight into your heart or soul, and you become part of the prose! I love the way a poem can awaken your deepest feelings and connect you to the author's energy, to truly, not only read the lines, but to 'feel' them, that is what I enjoy most...
"That is why can often feel so much from the written word than the spoken one if you get me, but when someone can 'add' music to words, then I am lost and powerless and completely captured, as not only have you the energy of the word but the vibration of the music, and that my friends is so powerful."

Wow! That was beautiful and poetic. I’m speechless. Let me quote form Joseph Campbell here instead:

“How does the ordinary person come to the transcendent? For a start, I would say, study poetry. Learn how to read a poem. You need not have the experience to get the message, or at least some indication of the message. It may come gradually.”

“Wherever the poetry of myth is interpreted as biography, history, or science, it is killed.”

[cyberangel]

Thank you Monty...I really like them Quote's from Joseph Campbell especially... "Wherever the poetry of myth is interpreted as biography, history, or science, it is killed."

Thanks again,

Love and Light

PS. I'm just about 5 mins into the download of the Carl Jung pdf file and I only have 1hr 6min 40sec remaining...LOL I'm sure it'll be worth the wait. Goodnight my friend

[donq]

Dear Lorraine and Karen,

Every time I did something like this (giving/sharing something) I always was misunderstood that I had some hidden agenda (for example, no one would dare to download the book that I posted its link.) But both of you trusted me enough to do it. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your trust and friendships.

Though giving is a pleasure, but if I know someone enjoys what I gave, it makes much more pleasure for me.


P.S. Lorraine, it took me around that time to upload it, too. hahaha.

P.P.S. Karen, I always think that you are a Jungian psychotherapist, a great one. More than that you are a spiritual-therapist!
I share the sad feeling with you about there are so many people in the world who cannot read. Sometimes I imagined what would happen if I went blind? My life would be so terrible! Though there are Braille and audiobooks, but that doesn’t mean all books that I want to read. Not to mention how could I survive (earning my living.) We are so lucky that we have what we already have, indeed!