Feeling like a newborn :)

[gruntal]

I think at one level you look at the others, see what they have or do, and mimic their actions if you want the same results. But at another level that is all wrong: you are here to experience and not expect anything beyond that. Because if you are on the right track you enjoy it all even before you reach your goals.

One of the more convincing "suggestions" I received is that the Master Jesus did NOT have a normal family life. He did not have the time for one because He was too busy and preoccupied so He "opted out" of marriage. Some religions now require celibacy as a prelude to service but I don't think that always produces the same results as the Master.

At some level people may obviously make some sacrifices when they have families that even effect their careers. Spiritual enlightenment should not be any different. As I wrote just now in another post people achieve for themselves only to neglect their responsibilities to another.

So yes there are always choices to be made but you can only decide for yourself what choices to make.

[donq]

Hi Alena,

You raised a very important about yourself and Gruntal already did answer so well.

As for me, I think someone could answer it better than me. He was Joseph Campbell (He was an American mythologist, writer and lecturer, best known for his work in comparative mythology and comparative religion. His work is vast, covering many aspects of the human experience.)

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”

“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”

“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.”

“We’re in a freefall into future. We don’t know where we’re going. Things are changing so fast, and always when you’re going through a long tunnel, anxiety comes along. And all you have to do to transform your hell into a paradise is to turn your fall into a voluntary act. It’s a very interesting shift of perspective and that’s all it is… joyful participation in the sorrows and everything changes.”

“If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track which has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one that you ARE living. Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”

“But if a person has had the sense of the Call — the feeling that there’s an adventure for him — and if he doesn’t follow that, but remains in the society because it’s safe and secure, then life dries up. And then he comes to that condition in late middle age: he’s gotten to the top of the ladder, and found that it’s against the wrong wall. If you have the guts to follow the risk, however, life opens, opens, opens up all along the line. I’m not superstitious, but I do believe in spiritual magic, you might say. I feel that if one follows what I call one’s bliss — the thing that really gets you deep in your gut and that you feel is your life — doors will open up. They do! They have in my life and they have in many lives that I know of.”

“The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe”

“Anyone who has had an experience of mystery knows that there is a dimension of the universe that is not that which is available to his senses. There is a pertinent saying in one of the Upanishads: When before the beauty of a sunset or of a mountain you pause and exclaim, ‘Ah,’ you are participating in divinity. Such a moment of participation involves a realization of the wonder and sheer beauty of existence. People living in the world of nature experience such moments every day. They live in the recognition of something there that is much greater than the human dimension.”

“Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”

So, just follow your bliss!

[baangus]

Aug 11, 2014 8:52:10 GMT @alena said:

Can you tell me how to upload a picture from mobile? I'd love to share it.

Hi alena. I use Photobucket. Create a profile, upload your photo, then copy the IMG code and paste it to your post. The photo should show up.



Yup, it works!

Now, as for arranged marriages... Can anyone who doesn't live in a culture that supports arranged marriages, offer relevant advice of any sort? Probably not, but that won't stop me from trying.

DO NOT marry somebody unless you love them. I can't say I've accomplished much in life. But one thing I learned and that I do know, from experience: the difference between living with someone you like (or don't like all that much), versus living with someone you love with all your heart. There is a HUGE difference. It is the difference between feeling empty and as if something is missing in your life, and feeling happy, blessed and content. Love, and being in love, is very real. I would prefer living alone the rest of my life to living with someone I didn't really love. I did that twice - lived with someone I didn't really love - and I will never do it again. It's the biggest mistake you can make in life. And I say that because love is the only thing in this universe of ours that truly matters.

[baangus]

Aug 11, 2014 16:11:35 GMT @alena said:

Hi baangus thank you for photo bucket. Finally it will be possible to share some pictures for me. Here is what I painted within these two days.

Wow, that's a truly artistic bit of artwork there alena. Very impressive, you have wonderful sense of aesthetics and some real talent. And hey, it looks like my photo, only difference is you have a house floating on the horizon and not a kayak!

And I'm not kidding about love...

[donq]

Hi Alena,

Sorry for my late reply.

As you can see that Baangus and I share the same experiences (about wrong marriage) so we can only give you the same advice,
“Don’t choose the wrong one.” Or it’d rather to live alone than living with someone you do not truly love.

If I remember it right, Rumi said that, “Though 1 and 1 is 2. But don’t forget about ‘and’”

“And” is very important. You (or everyone) have to choose “and” very very wisely. Or you might end up like me, because I chose the wrong "and" and that was why "1 and 1 was not 2, but 1" (getting divorce twice.) 

[donq]

Hi Alena,

Ok, I’ll write long post later (maybe tomorrow.)
Have something to do now.

[donq]

Hi Alena,

You wrote:

I've a question, as I'm returning to normal life, I'm not feeling I can be a saint , psychic or anything like that in future, but if this persists and I get married to a ordinary man like anyone else and keep learning from what life teaches me, how many lives it may take to remember my true self? I should mention that I'm not talking about getting married with my crush , it's about arranged marriage. Because I love to be with family, friends and people whom I know well. If I don't marry I'll have to live alone for the whole life. Should I do it? Or I should go to Any saint to accept me as their student and leave this loving moments?

There’s a saying, “If you take a wrong train, every station that it reaches is still a wrong station.”

You raised many important questions:
1. You want to know if you gave up your spiritual path, what will happen to you?
2. What will happen if you got married to a worldly (non-spiritual) man?
3. When/how long could you be come back to your spiritual path/true self again?
4. What will happen if you got married by arranged marriage? (because that way you could be with your family, friends etc.)
5. You doubt what will happen If you don’t do 4.?
6. If you don’t do 4, could you choose the pure spiritual path and take a vow of celibacy /chastity? And how?

I think that all these questions are just uncertain anticipations. And you missed a few important questions: 1. Marry to the one you love (and he equally loves you.) 2. Marry to the one who is equally spiritual as you. 3. You will be blissful to live alone all you life or not if you chose a pure spiritual path.
See so many question. But I think life is not so simple to ask those questions beforehand.

You wrote:

“You, Baangus and Gruntal are telling me to marry only one we love. But do you think it is practical? I mean there is no guarantee for us that their love will last for the whole life. And as there is no guarantee I see arranged marriage as a better option because there is some type of guarantee about financial and family support. And it's also not always necessary that our love will love us because they may have love for someone else same as us…
“…I want to make sure before making any big decision and I think you and Baangus can throw some more light on this as you had experiences , may be you have felt this when you were at my age. Please help.”

First, you have to keep in mind that what I’m going to say is about how/why it (marriage) doesn’t work as I only had experienced that way. How/why it works is beyond my experience to share. But if we consider why/how doesn’t it work, maybe we will come to the point of how/why does it work?
From now on, it will be very personal stuff. Please bear with me.
I married twice. My marriage lasted 10 and 12 years. I never wanted a divorce. My ex (s) did. The reason of my first divorce was about money. After I helped my ex built our house, cars etc. then I got a big debt because I worked with the wrong man for 2 years. Though I lost my house, car, etc. (and everything) somehow it was not so painful like my second divorce. At least I knew that she would be ok without me because I left my house for her while I got all debts with me alone (it took me many years before I could clear all those debts as I had to start from zero again, or even minus zero.) As for my second divorce, it was about her cheating so it was very painful. (Let me skip this part because I told it a few times on our forum.)
Did I love my (ex) wife? Yes, I did. I’m a kind of man who will not talk about divorce. Never! Did my (2) wife love me? Yes, I thought she did. But I’m not sure any more. And when looking back now I’m even not sure if I myself really loved them or not. Don’t get me wrong. What I try to say is that time I didn’t know much about woman (neither do now. ) I might misunderstand that I loved them and misunderstood that they loved me. I was like many men/women who were rush in love and thought they already found the right ones without serious consideration before getting marry.
With my age and experience now, I do believe that “love” is so important key in a marriage. It has a very deep meaning. Not just a rush chemistry that might make someone ready to die for the one he/she has loved. Love in marriage is a lot more than that. It about two persons who are so equally in every way: both literally meaning and compensatory meanings. They fulfill/complete each other. Come on, I know you used to read about this before. And it’s very true. I don’t need to talk about it here.
Let me be blunt about arranged marriage: I don’t agree. Yes, it might work well for some couples because such and such reasons as you already mentioned (after marriage still able to be with family, friends etc. or because of solidity’s reason) My only question for you is are you sure you will be happy that way? Didn’t you tell us that you could not bear with many persons who gave you some negative energy? Imagine how worse it would be if that person was you husband? See? You have to choose only the one who really resonates with you. But yes, as you already said, even you did that, it still is only a start. No guarantee how long will that resonance last. 10 years or 12 years like my case, before ending with divorce? So, if you are not careful from the start, it probably will be worse than you imagine, right? That time, even you wanted divorce, what if he didn’t want?
Again, even you chose the right one, there still are so many things to learn together along the way. Your husband will be with you not only 10, or 20 years but all of you life, will he not?
Yes, I know, I can say that because I’m already old and got many experiences. When I was at your age, I was so naïve and no one ever warned me about this. At least, you are luckier than me. You come here and there were 3 (old) spiritual friends already warned you about this. I sincerely hope that you would consider our warnings seriously. Don’t let this kind of thing happen in the way that you might regret it later.
It is said, “nip it in the bud” (stop something before it grows/gets worse), isn’t it?
So, “Choose very wisely or choose none” is still the best motto. :-)

P.S. I already feel so sleepy. Sorry for any typo.

[baangus]

Aug 12, 2014 19:05:39 GMT donq said:

Hi Alena,

You wrote:

Great post donq. I just lived your entire life the past few minutes while reading that! Here's my take: If either of your ex-spouses truly loved you, they and you would still be together (although that would make three of you...?) But seriously, love doesn't cheat. And love certainly doesn't keep the house and leave the other to pay for it. I wouldn't - couldn't - do something like that to my worst enemy, my inner moral voice wouldn't allow it. That's shameful. Love supports and doesn't take advantage, even if the two individuals drift apart for whatever reason.

It is impossible to describe true love to those who haven't experienced it. Up until my later years, all I knew about love was that relationships were always difficult and even awful to be in. But I always had a dream of what it could be, and that's what I continued to search for in life. That's what I wanted to communicate to alena. She asked, "But what if love turns out like...?" There is no what if with true love. It's love. Do we ask what if the sun stops shining, or the world stops spinning? No we don't. We live life. Finding true love is living life. Love cannot be organized. Or possessed. It cannot be planned. It cannot be qualified or quantified. It is simply there to fully experience, in our soul, in whatever form it takes, and for however long it lasts. That is the entire point of love: the soul experience of it. It is not about achieving physical security for the rest of one's life; that's nothing more than relationship convenience.

Love would not have made you pay off those debts yourself, leaving you in minus zero money status! On the other hand, if the circumstances of love transpired in such a way that you were left in that position, you would have lovingly accepted that role. You would do it out of love!

[baangus]

Aug 13, 2014 15:53:57 GMT @alena said:

After knowing your opinion I thought of possibilities of love marriage for me and found that there are many because I'm the loved one because of being wise and the younger of all sisters and my elders many times indirectly told me that they will allow me to choose myself and marry if they feels him right however no one else for the chance to choose one before me. But my problem is I never searched or thought about how to find the right one. I know there is nothing like right one but still I believe that there must be some guidelines for how to choose the better one.

Well that sounds positive alena!

It is so difficult to give advice here, this is your personal spiritual journey after all. No person is perfect, that is true. However, there is such a thing as "the right one." We definitely feel closer to certain people than we do to others. A person who is right for you is someone who you know in your heart loves you. They show that love in a thousand different ways, every day. There is no question or doubt about it, their words and behavior continually assure you of their love. A person who is right for you is someone who you love and care for, even when you're upset and angry with them! And they love and care for you during those times as well. People who are right for each other, can say to each other, "Sorry I got so upset with you!", and then laugh and smile and continue to love each other.

People who are not right for each other, carry grudges and stay angry and refuse to forgive each other. They don't love each other enough to give their happiness over to the other person. They prefer staying mad at each other. And people stay mad at each other because it is easier than facing the truth about their relationship: that they don't really love each other. But they don't want to talk about it because it would mean they would probably split up. And they don't want to split up because they fear change, and the insecurity that comes with change. And so they stay angry and closed, and grow resentful. And that becomes their relationship together.

How do you find someone who is right for you? That alena is a question for the ages and why matchmaking sites are so popular! Spirit always provides us with what we need, when we need it. There really is nothing more I can say about that.

[donq]

Hi B.,
Again, thanks for your understanding and supporting.
And thank but no thank about three of me. Even one at a time I still could not handle.
You already said what I had in mind. I mean, about true love. Yes, that was the very reason of my divorce (twice.)
It was just not my true love. Simple like that.

[donq]

Hi Alena,

You asked about “how to choose a true love” urh…frankly speak, if I did know about that, I might not live alone now.

Ok, seriously, as Baangus already said very well about true love, I think what you have to do is just wait and see and don’t rush.
Think about how to buy your car (it might not be a good analogy but it might make some point here.) If you are going to buy one and only one car in your life, what kind of car will you choose? What kind of car that really match you? Can you afford its price? Does it make you feel happy and secure while driving it? Will it always take you to your destination you want? Does its engine is good enough and will never betray you some day? etc. etc.
So, the very important thing about finding your true love is honestly ask yourself about this question, “what kind of person do you want to live with?” For example, even your (going to be) husband is a good man but if he’s too far smarter than you and he tries to teach you everything in every details (even you don’t want to hear), will you be happy to live with him? See my point?
And who knows? your arranged marriage might be your true love (or might not.) Time will tell. The point is you have to really know him (or anyone who will be a candidate) so well first. And that might take time. Always.

[donq]

Hi Alena,

Don’t be disheartened. There are so many wonderful things in life waiting for you. It will be great if you could find your true love. And you will. What I and our friends here tried to say is just that you don’t need to be hurry. Take your time to choose and choose it well. That’s all.
There are so many blissful things in this life for veryone. Though some people could not find their true loves, they still can be happy. Everyone can. You still have so many things in your life to enjoy and learn. You have so many persons who love you and you love them. That’s a blissful miracle in your life, isn’t it? Remember, you are not alone.

It’s good to embrace God into your life. But as it’s said in Gates of Prayer:

 “Pray as if everything depends on God.
"Act as if everything depends on you.”

Cheers!

[donq]

Hi Alena,

Thanks for your sharing. I’m glad to hear that and happy for you.

I believe you know (Rabindranath) Tagore, right? (He got a Nobel prize for literature in 1913.) He was one of my favorite (spiritual) poets.
The following poem is from his Gitanjali (Song offerings):

I know that the day will come
when my sight of this earth shall be lost,
and life will take its leave in silence,
drawing the last curtain over my eyes.
Yet stars will watch at night, and morning rise as before,
and hours heave like sea waves casting up pleasures and pains.
When I think of this end of my moments,
the barrier of the moments breaks
and I see by the light of death the world with its careless treasures.
Rare is its lowliest seat, rare is its meanest of lives.
Things that I longed for in vain and things that I got--let them pass.
Let me but truly possess the things that I ever spurned and overlooked.

So, in the middle of our joyfulness, we should not overlook something, no matter how small they might look, right?

[sparklekaz]

This is truly beautiful Monty. It is not a poem of Tagore's I have read before. So thank you for sharing it.

These are two of my favourite Tagore poems. The words really resonate with me on a deep soul level. I hope you and Alena both like them too.

Stream of Life

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day
runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.
It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth
in numberless blades of grass
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth
and of death, in ebb and in flow.
I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.


Innermost One

He it is, the innermost one,
who awakens my being with his deep hidden touches.
He it is who puts his enchantment upon these eyes
and joyfully plays on the chords of my heart
in varied cadence of pleasure and pain.
He it is who weaves the web of this maya
in evanescent hues of gold and silver, blue and green,
and lets peep out through the folds his feet,
at whose touch I forget myself.
Days come and ages pass,
and it is ever he who moves my heart in many a name,
in many a guise, in many a rapture of joy and of sorrow.

Love and light
Kaz

[donq]

Hi Alena,

Yes, I used to feel like that, too.

And there was a sentence I heard from a movie which I liked. Here’s it is:
“You feel me?”
So, “Yes, I feel you, Alena.”

I think that what you have to do is trying to bring Tao (or in your case, God) into practice. To make unity through duality.
Hmm…let me quote from some ancient sage here instead. He could explain it better than me for sure (I will not bother you with his name here.) Please bear with me and this quote; it’s worth reading. It’s about painting a bamboo picture in the old time:

“When bamboo first comes into being, it is only an inch-long shoot, but its joints and leaves are all there. It develops from (shoots like) cicada chrysalises and snake scales to (stalks like) swords rising eighty feet, because this development was immanent in it. Now when painters do it joint by joint, and add to it leaf by leaf, will this be a bamboo?

“Therefore, in painting bamboo one must first apprehend the complete bamboo in the breast. One takes up the brush and gazes intently. Then one sees what one wants to paint and rises hurriedly to pursue it, wielding the brush forthwith to catch what one has seen. Like a hare leaping and falcon swooping—if one hesitates it will be lost.

“He (name) instructed me that. I am not able to do so but my mind discerns how it is so. Now when the mind discerns how it is so but one is not able to do so, inner and outer are not one, and mind and hand are not in accord. This is a fault stemming from not learning. Therefore, all who have seen something within but are not adept at executing it, will, in everyday life, see something clearly for themselves but suddenly lost it when it comes to putting it into practice. This is not only true with bamboo.”

So, how to bring Tao into practice?

Here’s the answer from another sage:

“A great cook (name) cut up oxen, but the nourisher of life chose him. Now, when you make use of this bamboo here and I think you are the one who has Tao, am I wrong?”

What he meant by that was the person who asked this question had never really painted, therefore he only grasped his intent. Grasping only one’s intent is not enough (to accomplish the deed in real practice). Therefore, one must grasp one own method, too. Getting skill and technique may be necessary but being able to practice what one knows requires very long time training. This is called a process that is hidden behind any skill or technique.
I hope this helps. I didn’t mean to make it hard to understand. But it’s not easy thing to understand, indeed.
Ok, it’s time for me to say goodnight. :-)

[sparklekaz]

Dear Alena,

It sounds to me as if you are letting go of the ego, the desire to control or force the way in which your life is unfolding. You are simply allowing yourself to be carried along by the natural flow of your life. You are focusing on 'this moment', your physical senses heightened. In this state, colours become more beautiful and vivid. Taste, sound is amplified. I know this can at times feel overwhelming. It is as if you are intoxicated by life.

I would not say, 'something else is taking over you', and that you are just, 'allowing it to happen'. I would say you are simply going with life as it happens. You are allowing life to happen to unfold naturally. This, is very much about your journey, dear sweet Alena. Enjoy it.

If something occured that you did not like or were not happy with, you would naturally stop. I would say write down your thoughts. I know you are artistic; Capture those feelings on canvas. This can be an incredibly creative time. Just as in Monty's wonderful story about the bamboo; you are the seed, the tiny shoots, the budding flower. You are the chrysalis and the Butterfly. A truly special and transformative time.

Love and light
Kaz

[sparklekaz]

Dear Alena,

You are more than welcome here. I find your questions and enthusiasm refreshing. Your questions are thought provoking, and as you can see from the replies you get, many others feel the same way. And enjoy talking to you. By sharing your thoughts and experiences you are helping other's who may be experiencing something similar. We are all equal here, no one is any higher or lower. Everyone has something that is unique to share. And all are at different points in their spiritual development.

The ethos of this forum is to share what we know with each other; to exchange stories and experiences. We are here to empower each other to grow and to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. We support each other when we are struggling, as well as sharing in each other's happiness and excitement when we feel we are making progress. Please don't ever feel that you do not have a place here, because you do!

Love and light
Kaz

[cyberangel]

Dear Alena you have so much to offer not just here in this forum but in life in general. You have a beautiful purity within you that radiates out and touches others around you...far deeper than you are probably even aware of. I often read your threads and comments but feel so refreshed by what you say and how you express it. Often the thing you share remind me of my own journey and there are times when I would like to be where you are now. Please always know age gender and race are nothing to a spiritual family...and you are very much a golden thread within our fabric. Love and Light

[donq]

Hi Alena,

I was going to reply your post last night but fell asleep. Sorry.

Hmm…I believe that a spiritual friend is someone who is holding a very pure/clear mirror in their hands. He/she uses that mirror to see themselves clearly. They can see any dust on their face and bodies (and metaphorically/literally seeing their own minds.) So, when we come close to those kind of persons we will see “ourselves” as we really are (sometimes even we never seen before.)  And that is the preciousness of a true friend, a spiritual one.

Anyway, there’s something that takes time to tell. It will not be beneficent for you if I tell you before you are ready. Let me give you an example, what Kaz just told you in her previous post was just an iceberg. I believe, no, I’m sure I “know” her enough. She has so many other “huge” things to tell more than that. But she, like me, has to wait for the right time until you are more ready than this. Let’s call it a “spiritual manner.” And there’s a (serious) dangerous thing when you are walking on a spiritual path, don’t try to know something before you really known. Don’t try to know before you “are.” You will know only when you are.

So, let’s get to the point. You’ve just got a fresh spiritual awakening. Everything is so wonderful. This is the wonderful feelings of peak experience. But beware that it will not last long. Everything will change. Nothing can last forever. If you want this wonderful feelings to stay with you permanently, there are a lot of (spiritual) work to be done.

Buddha said that there were two important things that we needed so that we could continue our spiritual journey: (spiritual) learning/practicing AND Kalyanamitra (good friendship/good company.)

Someone might got brief enlightenment and believed that they already reached their spiritual goals. No, life is not that easy. There still will be a time of relapse or even backfiring. Always. I’ve seen that a lot in so many persons/monks who turned their back on spiritual parts.
 
What you have been experiencing is only the beginning. I don’t know much about chakras but I dare day your chakra comes to a high peak. That’s good. But how to keep it, or better than that, how to develop it more and more, that’s a good question, isn’t it?
(let me exaggerate a bit here, someone who just got peak experience might not be afraid anything, even death. They could jumped in front of the train without fear. But...that is NOT the right feelings/ways of spirituality.)

I know that the problem will be more easy if you completely decide to leave your spiritual part. I've seen many people do that because they have to live in the worldly world, in their real lives. They have to make money, get marry, create their own families etc, etc. It seems there’s inner conflict between these two different worlds: spiritual and worldly one in their minds. But, there’s no right and wrong if you or anyone choose any way (worldly or spiritual.) Everyone has to do their duties. Some have many kids to feed, then, how could they still have time for meditating all day? How can you be a good salesman if you cannot lie (a bit)? How can you are a good solider if you cannot kill your enemy? In the final analysis, everyone in this world is doing their parts. What will happen if every butchers in the world don’t dare to do their jobs any more? Millions or even billions people would die starving, right?

What I’m trying to say it’s ok if you have to leave your spiritual side. You can be a good person and be happy in the worldly world. You’ve already got a precious spiritual experience. It will be with you for the rest of your life. And you can come back to develop it more and more any time.

P.S. I wrote this without stopping. Sorry for any errors. I woke up early today and even haven't drunk my coffee yet. 
 

[donq]

I already got my coffee (and breakfast) Let’s continue a bit. Urh...where were we?

Ok, I believe you know (or used to watched some movies about Journey to the West, right?) It was based on the true story of the legendary pilgrimage of the Tang dynasty Buddhist monk Xuanzang who traveled to the "Western Regions", that is your country, India, to obtain sacred texts (sūtras) and returned after many trials and much suffering.

This story was a wonderful spiritual metaphor in Buddhism. Xuanzang could do the impossible task like that because of the helping of another there characters, let call them The monkey (king), the Pig and the Hermit.

The monkey was very intelligent and had the most powerful magic. No one could fight him or stop him except Xuanzang (the monk.) The Pig was always enjoy eating and sleeping. The Hermit was good at ascetic (self-discipline, deny everything.)
 
The Hermit is the metaphor of self-discipline or Sila (precept) in Buddhism.
The Pig is the metaphor of (though not quite exactly meditation.
And the monkey is the metaphor of intellectual.

The point is this important task could not be finished without one of them. Why? Though the monkey could do it by himself alone easily but he was so smart, too far smart. He always was the enemy of himself. And that made situations got so worst many time. His intellectual was not a wisdom like his master, Xuanzang (the monk.) Intellectual is so smart but always misleads us. And there’s only wisdom that could stop our intellectuals from going the wrong way.

So, to gain the wisdom or enlightenment, a Buddhist needs The Hermit (precept), The Pig (meditation) and the monkey (intellectual).
Why does The Hermit (precept) alone is not enough? Because he always controlled himself too much than necessary and denied to do what has to be done.

Why the Pig (meditation) alone is not enough? Because he always ran away from his duty, to enjoy his sleeping (meditation) all the time. And he got so physical strength because of his eating and sleeping ( a lot.)

Ok, What I try to say is, it’s ok if you decide to leave this forum. I also will do it some day. Everyone will. But that doesn’t mean you cannot come back her, if you wish, any time you like. Or that doesn’t mean we will not be friends any more. Yes, we are friends, and we still are. Whether you will talk about spiritual stuff or not, you’re always welcome here.

You are a very very smart girl. Brilliant mind! I didn’t say this just to please you. No, I feel that and I know that. If there will be one thing I would like to warn you, as a spiritual friends, that is you have to be careful about your monkey king, too.

I wish you the best.

[donq]

Hi Alena,

As for me, the true meaning of meditation is something like what you said (about being alone in the nature).
Frankly speak, our states of mind are pure from the beginning. But they becomes more and more filthy because of our impure /defiled thoughts (and feelings) that arise in our minds once in a while (for example, if you drop one color drop into a glass of water, it might not make a difference. But if you continue to drop that color, finally the water which was pure in the beginning would turn to be the colored water. Color drop is the metaphor of our thought/emotion/feelings that arise in our minds.
Someone don’t beware or care about this until it becomes their habits. Then, when they want to “purify” their minds back to the original states later, they need much more intensive meditation. For example in the case of person who are so easy to angry etc.
I know many people who don’t know anything about meditation or spirituality but they still are really good and spiritual persons. Because their states of mind are still pure.

P.S. You are wonderful. You always got what I didn’t say. :-)

[sparklekaz]

Hi Alena

It sounds to me as if you a profound moment of self realization. And it's interesting how it came to you suddenly as you were immersed in the moment. Helping your mum. You looked at her and had that experience of pure clarity. I love those moments. Because there is no pretence, no self deception. Just self honesty. Though I know that it can also be painful. Especially when we realize how selfish and self centred we have been. But it is a gift Alena. Because once we realize something we have the power then to change. For how can we become more loving and caring if we do not realize there is something wrong.

I think it is important though, not to be too hard on ourselves, for our lack of thoughtfulness and awareness. For we behaved as we did while in ignorance. Now we know better, things can be different can't they. I believe spiritual growth comes as we move forward with awareness. Another lesson for me is learn to understand other people, to know what may be behind their behaviour, with compassion and without judgement. It is not our place to take on the burden of responsibility for them. To take all the blame. But to love them unconditionally. We cannot and should not try to change other people. Because just as you had your moment of illumination and understanding. So must they, when the time is right for them!

Love and light
Kaz

[sparklekaz]

Hi Alena,

Please don't feel depressed because you feel confused. Confusion comes I think when there is inner conflict. Only when the mind is calm can clarity happen. Depression brings heavy thoughts and tends to give a distorted view of the world and the situations we find ourselves in. So if something is unclear, try not to get worked up, frustrated or depressed, because this only makes confusion worse. Accept, the fact that for now, or in 'this' moment, the answers are not there, but have faith that in time they will be.

I believe things unfold exactly as they are mean't to. Something else has to slot into place, some other realization has to come to pass before you have the insight or extra information you need to make informed choices or decisions. Not everything in life is clear, and that can be through no fault of yours. Consider also that there may also be a lesson here for you to learn; And that is for you is to cultivate the quality of patience.

Love and light
Kaz