To cheer up my spiritual friends :-)

[donq]

I was late and missed the chat room tonight so I will post something here for my friends there instead.

I was thinking about how can we cheer ourselves up from any burden daily things, both physical and/or mental one. Below are some of my favorite quotes and I hope you’ll like them, too.

Nightfall. Clouds scatter and vanish.
The sky is pure and cold.
Silently the River of Heaven turns in the Jade Vault.
If tonight I do not enjoy life to the full,
Next month, next year, who knows where I will be?
(Su Tung Po’s poem, translated by Kenneth Rexroth)


I WOKE and found his letter with the morning.
I do not know what it says, for I cannot read.
I shall leave the wise man alone with his books, I shall not trouble him,
for who knows if he can read what the letter says.
Let me hold it to my forehead and press it to my heart.
When the night grows still and stars come out one by one I will spread it on my lap and stay silent.
The rustling leaves will read it aloud to me, the rushing stream will chant it, and the seven wise stars will sing it to me from the sky.
I cannot find what I seek, I cannot understand what I would learn; but this unread letter has lightened my burdens and turned my thoughts into songs.
(Fruit-Gathering, by Rabindranath Tagore)


The precious diamond must be cut in order to show its luster.
The sweet incense must be burned in order to inhale its fragrance.
Adversity is like the periods of rain—cold, comfortless, unfriendly, yet from such seasons the flower and their fruit leave their birth.
Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well when they cannot be seen from the top of a mountain…
Adversity has the effect of exciting talents which prosperity would permit to lie dormant.
Prosperity is a great teacher, adversity is a greater one.
Possession pampers the mind, privation trains and strengthens it.
-Joseph Krauskopf


So you mustn’t be frightened…if a sadness rises in front of you, larger than any you have ever seen; if an anxiety, like light and cloud-shadows, moves over your hands and over everything you do. You must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside you?

Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better.

In you…so much is happening now; you must be patient like someone who is sick, and confident like someone who is recovering; for perhaps you are both. And more: you are also the doctor, who has to watch over himself. But in every sickness there are many days when the doctor can do nothing but wait. And that is what you, insofar as you are your own doctor, must now do, more than anything else.

From Letters To A Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

[donq]

Last night my friends and I were talking about spiritual movies we liked. I forgot to mention about this movie. It was one episode from House M.D. (TV Series), One Day, One Room (season 3 episode 12, 2007) I think you can watch it online for free if you like. :-)
What impressed me so much was it has so good (and somehow spiritual) dialogue. I’d like to call this episode, “Human meets another human.” Because even a very smart guy like House still could not convince the girl to think rationally. Not until he opened himself to her first. In that moment, it was really where a human meets another human being. And to me, it was so spiritual and beautiful. :-)

Below is its script I found on the internet. Sorry that I don’t give the credit of its source here because I don’t know if it’s allowed to post the link here or not.

HOUSE: Life goes on.

EVE: Is that the reason we're out here?

HOUSE: Know why I come here? I sit, I watch, I imagine.

[He limps over to the table and sits on the bench.]

EVE: Sounds nice.

HOUSE: [pointing to joggers] Imagine if one of them would break a leg.

[She smiles (for the first time) at his cynicism.]

HOUSE: Just one false step. One crack in the sidewalk.

EVE: [smiling] You don't really.

HOUSE: I'm evil.

EVE: Evil people don't say they're evil.

HOUSE: Sounds like an easy loophole. [beat] People can do good things, but their instincts are not good. Either God doesn't exist or he's unimaginably cruel.

EVE: [has lost the smile, shakes her head] I don't believe that.

HOUSE: What do you believe? Why do you think this happened?

EVE: [gets of the table and walks a bit] I don't wanna talk about it.

HOUSE: Me neither. Too bad.

EVE: [irritably] Y'know, I don't think there was a reason! [sighs]

HOUSE: Huh-huh. So God does exist, 'less you get raped. Easier to keep your rape baby for no reason.

EVE: [crying] Maybe he was challenging me!

HOUSE: He hurts you to help you.

[Eve nods.]

HOUSE: I guess it's better than he hates you.

EVE: [shouting, voice breaking] You're trying to convince me there's no God! Why would you even say something like that?

HOUSE: Because you're throwing your life away.

EVE: I'm doing what I believe!

HOUSE: What you believe doesn't make sense.

EVE: This is not helping me.

[She picks up her stuff to leave.]

HOUSE: Then I can't help you.

[Eve stops.]

HOUSE: If you believe in eternity, then... life is irrelevant. Same way that a bug is irrelevant in comparison to the universe.

EVE: [turns to face him] If you don't believe in eternity, then what you do here is irrelevant.

HOUSE: [jabbing the table with his finger] Your actions here are all that matters.

EVE: Then nothing matters. There's no ultimate consequences. I couldn't live with that.

HOUSE: So you need to think that the guy that did this to you is gonna be punished.

EVE: I need to know that it all means something. I need that comfort.

HOUSE: Yeah. You feeling comfortable? Feeling good right now? Feeling warm inside?

[She sits down in front of him, on the bench.]

EVE: I was raped. What's your excuse?

[He has no answer.]


CUT TO:

[Homeless Old Guy's room. Cameron sits sullenly, while he continues to suffer quietly in agony. She watches him, tears welling up in her eyes. He stiffens suddenly, and his chest drops, as he exhales his last breath. The monitor starts to whine (The Tune of Death). A nurse wheels in a crash cart, but Cameron stops her. She continues to look at the unfortunate man.]


CUT TO:

[Joggers' park. House and Eve sit on the park bench in silence.]

EVE: [sighs, looks at House] Do you think the guy who did this to me feels bad?

HOUSE: That'll help you? Make you feel better?

EVE: Why do you always do that? Ask why I'm asking a question, instead of just answering the question.

HOUSE: The answer doesn't interest me. I don't care what he's feeling. I'm interested in what you're feeling.

EVE: You are?

HOUSE: I'm trapped in a room with you, right?

[She smiles a bit.]

HOUSE: Why did you choose me?

EVE: There's something about you. 'S like you're hurt too.

[House slowly brings his right leg out from between the table and bench and sits facing away from the table.]

HOUSE: [softly] It was true.

EVE: What was?

HOUSE: Wasn't my grandmother, but it was true.

EVE: Who was it?

HOUSE: It's my dad.

[They sit quietly for a few seconds.]

EVE: I'd like to tell you what happened to me now.

HOUSE: I'd like to hear it.

EVE: It was a friend's birthday party...

[donq]

(Warning: This post is so serious, so don’t judge what I wrote from my looks, ok?
....And don’t smile either!)

Last night we talked about love and sex (it was safe to talk about sex because there were only old men and women there.) I wonder why sometimes love can bring us ups and downs. Even 3,000 years ago, the same question about love was raised:

"Tossed is that Cyprus boat,
Wave-tossed it floats.
My heart is in turmoil, I cannot sleep.
But secret is my grief.
Wine I have, all things needful
For play, for sport.

My heart is not a mirror,
To reflect what others will.
Brothers too I have;
I cannot be snatched away.
But lo, when I told them of my plight
I found that they were angry with me.

My heart is not a stone;
It cannot be rolled.
My heart is not a mat;
It cannot be folded away.
I have bourne myself correctly
In rites more than can be numbered.

My sad heart is consumed, I am harassed
By a host of small men.
I have bourne vexations very many,
Received insults not few.
In the still of the night I brood upon it;
In the waking hours I rend my breast.

O sun, ah, moon,
Why are you changed and dim?
Sorrow clings to me
Like an unwashed dress.
In the still of the night I brood upon it,
Long to take wing and fly away."

-From ancient Chinese poem, Anon. (c. 1000 B.C.)

And from another poem:

If along the highroad
I caught hold of your sleeve,
Do not hate me:
Old ways take time to overcome.


Yes, love is still a mystery. We always need it even sometimes it’s unreason. As DonQ…I always like what Feliciano de Silvas wrote about love:

The ability to reason the un-reason
which has afflicted my reason
saps my ability to reason,
so that I complain with good reason
of your infinite loveliness.

……………….

The heavens on high divinely drop your divinity down to you,
The stars themselves bringing your strength,
Thus making you deserving of the high deserts which your immensity deserves.

-from Don Quijote, translated by Burton Raffel

Because if we could find the one we are looking for, we may sing this song like Olivia Dunham:

For once in my life I have someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long
For once, unafraid, I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong

For once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before
For once, I have something I know won't desert me
I'm not alone anymore

-"For Once in My Life" (Fringe episode 2.20, "Brown Betty," sung by Olivia)

But….what if we cannot find that one? Or worse than that, we have to sing this song?:

Melinda was mine 'til the time that I found her
Holdin' Jim
And lovin' him
Then Sue came along, loved me strong, that's what I thought
But me and Sue,
That died, too.
Don't know that I will but until I can find me
A girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man
A solitary man
A solitary man

-"Solitary Man" (Stargate Atlantis, Vegas)  

Hmm…if that’s the case, hope we can still (have strength left enough to) sing another song, then:

“Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don’t care, I’m still free
You can’t take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain’t comin’ back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can’t take the sky from me
There’s no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can’t take the sky from me…”

― Joss Whedon (Theme from TV show Firefly)

Yes, we have to find our serenity on spiritual path. And when we found it, we will be a happy wanderer and can laugh at the world!

The seas laugh, lashing on both shores.
Carried in the waves, we only know the here and now.

The heavens laugh at the troubled world.
Only they know who is to win and lose.

The mountains laugh, the rain is afar.
When the waves grow old, the world still goes on.

The clear winds laugh, such a feeling of solitude.
Bygone camaraderie, leaving behind a tinge of melancholy.

The earth laughs, solitude no more.
My sentiments laughing still.

-"A Laugh at the World" or "A Single Laughter in the Sea" (Swordsman, a Chinese television series adapted from Jin Yong's novel The Smiling, Proud Wanderer.)

 

[donq]

-Last night we talked about argument. I still believe that argument/debate bring us to nowhere. Nowadays, we even see the boxing in the dignified place, the parliament!
-After that I was thinking about the argument between a man and a woman. And I think a (good) husband knows very well that arguing with his good wife is not a good idea at all because she talks a bit too much? :-)

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a
study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000
words per day.
His wife thought about this for a while. She then told her husband that women use twice as
many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
Her husband looked stunned. He said "What?"

-Hmm…or maybe because she talks a bit too less?

WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."

-Or…maybe he’s not a good listener?

Another man told his friend that his wife was leaving him. His friend asked, “Did she say why she was leaving?” He said, “Yeah, I think so. I think she said that I never listen to her or
something like that.”

-In any case, a good husband should listen to his wife and not argue!

There were two gates in heaven. One gate had the sign over it saying, “For Men whose wives
ruled over them.” The other had a sign saying, “For men who were the head of their house.” The line for the men who had been dominated was as long as the eye could see. The other line only had one many standing there. St. Peter asked the man, “Why are you standing in this line?”
The man said, “I don't know. My wife told me to stand here.”

-As for the following husband, he tried this best to listen.

A man whose marriage was failing sought advice of a wise man. The sage advised, “Go home and listen to your wife more carefully than you ever have before.”
Several days later, he came back and reported that he had listened to every word his wife spoke, nothing changed. In response, the sage offered this insight and advice, “Now go home and listen to everything your wife didn’t say.”

-The last story shows that, not only argument but also looking is not a good idea at all.

A man fell in love with a woman who has a supernatural power. She agreed to marry him if he promised not to look into her basket. One day he forgot, and he looked inside because of his curiosity. He laughed because it was just an empty basket. As a result of his misdeed, she walked away and vanished into the air. She left not because of he broke his promise but because he could not see that the basket was not empty. “I kept all the beautiful things of the sky in the basket for you and me. If you had waited, I would have taught you to see.” This was the last words she told him before she left.

P.S. Sorry that I cannot remember where I got the above stories from. I gathered them many years ago.

[donq]

The sea so deep and blind
The sun, the wild regret
The club, the wheel, the mind,
O love, aren't you tired yet?
(The Faith, Leonard Cohen)

One of my friend asked about the purpose of my life. I told her I’ve lost it for some time.

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in anyway
But now those days are gone, I’m not so self assured
And now I find I’ve changed my mind
I’ve opened up the door
Help me if you can I’m feeling down…
(I like Tina Turner’s version)

When I get older, it seems I’ve really changed my mind. But…

But when ye come,
And all the flow’es are dying
If I am dead, as dead I well may be
Ye’ll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an Ave there for me
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me
And all my grave will warmer, sweeter be…
(Danny boy)

Hmm…though sweet but a bit sad. I need another song here: :-)

Amazing grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretched like me
I once was lost but now I’m found
Was blind but now I see…
Was grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace, my fear relieved…
(Surely you know this song)

Back to the purpose of my life, I used to love Lao tze more than Chuang tze for decades. But after I passed my 50, I felt that I had to come back to read Chuang tze’s book again.
One of my favorite is from chapter 19:

-If you have grasped the purpose of life there is no point in trying to make life into something it is not or cannot be.
If you have grasped the purpose of destiny, there is no point in trying to change it through knowledge. (Martin palmer’s translation)

-He who understands the conditions of life does not strive after what is of no use to life; and he who understands the conditions of Destiny does not strive after what is beyond the reach of knowledge (James Legge’s translation)

-He who has mastered the true nature of life does not labor over what life cannot do. He who has mastered the true nature of fate does not labor over what knowledge cannot change. (Burton Watson’s translation)

My favorite version is Watson’s. And no matter what the precision translation is (and I don’t want to delve into the translation problems here), I personally feel that its meaning is so profound. Below is my “over” interpretation from the translation above:

Even we know well about the true nature of fate (such as from I Ching, astrology, numerology etc.) that doesn’t mean we could/should change its course. Then, why bother to know it “beforehand”? Not only the knowledge cannot change it, but also the knowledge that can change it. This doesn’t mean one’s fate has been written/ predestined. But it has something to do with “wu wei” (the best translation I like for this word is “non-purposeful action.”)  Because when we become the non-purposeful wanderers, we have nothing to fear. No matter what happens or will happen, we know how to “smile” to them all, don’t we? ;-)

Besides, I don't like cream! :-)

Two frogs fell into a can of cream,
Or so I’ve heard it told.
The sides of the can were shiny and steep,
The cream was deep and cold.
“O, what’s the use,” croaked number one,
“Tis fate; no help’s around.
Good-bye my friend! Good-bye, sad world” –
And weeping still, he drowned.
But number two of sterner stuff,
Dog-paddled in surprise,
The while he wiped his milky face
And dried his milky eyes.
“I’ll swim awhile at least,” he said –
Or so I’ve heard he said.
“It really wouldn’t help the world
If one more frog were dead.”
An hour or two he kicked and swam,
Not once he stopped to mutter
But kicked and kicked and swam and kicked
Then hopped out, via butter.
– Author unknown

[donq]

One of my friends said that laughing is a (good) therapeutic. Below are some  “Funny English Signs From All Over the World” I used to read them so many years ago. But they can be read so easily via an internet nowadays. So I apologize if you already read them. This is just my gift for my friend’s birthday on this Sunday. And also a gift for another friend who is going to a charity ball on the next Thursday. :-)

[Note –  English is not my native language. I’m one of those who still cannot use it rightly. But even so, I still laugh at myself about my mistakes, these mistakes. I hope you enjoy it, too. :-)]   

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On a poster in New York:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Indian maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel room notice, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel lobby, Romania:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Taken from a menu, Poland:
SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Tourist agency, former Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

In the window of an Oregon store:
WHY GO ELSEWHERE AND BE CHEATED WHEN YOU CAN COME HERE?

In a hotel in Athens:
VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO COMPLAIN AT THE OFFICE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9 AND 11 A.M.

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THE ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Notice in a field:
THE FARMERS ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Alongside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
LADIES MAY HAVE A FIT UPSTAIRS.
 
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
TO MOVE THE CABIN, PUSH BUTTON FOR WISHING FLOOR. IF THE CABIN SHOULD ENTER MORE PERSONS, EACH ONE SHOULD PRESS A NUMBER OF WISHING FLOOR. DRIVING IS THEN GOING ALPHABETICALLY BY NATIONAL ORDER.

A Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
COOLEST AND HEATEST: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

(hmm....if this is NOT your first time to visit this forum...well...)

[donq]

Tonight we talked about doing volunteer work could help us on our spiritual journey. It was very true! It reminded me of some part of my life, more than 25 years ago. (I apologize in advance if this is a bit my personal stuff. My point is only to say that doing volunteer work can really make me feel very peaceful. And so does anyone, I believe.)  

It was a very poor village on the mountain, surrounded by a thick forest. My spiritual teacher, an abbot of a little Buddhist temple there, was not only a monk, he also an activist. He built a pre-school child center in the temple. This was because the villagers had to go out and work in their fields everyday, and there was no one who would take care of their children. Besides, they were very poor and had nothing to eat. We (I became one of the temple’s seniors) had to grow some vegetables for feeding the children. While I stayed there, searching for my answer, meditating (sati – mindfulness or awareness practice), I also was a teacher of 40-50 children, between 3-6 years old. The class began like ordinary school, but the difference was my classroom had just one wall! And had a headmaster, a teacher, a janitor and a cook…all in one…me. lol
My routine was: welcome my students in the morning, (no one had a uniform or even shoes) taught basic alphabet, played, sang a funny songs…took a break and playing. I made a food, some vegetable soup to eat with a sticky rice. One of my little students had her favorite food brought from her home, a grilled gecko! After lunch…we had sleeping course until the afternoon…then, alphabet lesson…no?…singing…and playing lesson again and again…(I thought I lost 10 kg. or more that time hahaha). Their parents came to take their children back home in the late afternoon. Then I went to work in the vegetable plots…for my student’s lunch. After that it was my spiritual searching time…There was no electricity yet, so it was so beautiful at night…the moon in the pond beside the lotus leaf…the billion stars above when the moon disappeared…and the fireflies….
(Let me add something here, you don’t have to worry about those kids, or newly little students, as the development already went there, some governmental unit took over my school after I ran its business for a few years. It was okay because the kids would have more happy life. But there was no firefly there anymore!)

However, during this 25 years, I’ve changed a lot. Maybe I become a prince or a  magician? :-)

Once upon a time there was a young prince who believed in all things but three. He did not believe in princesses, he did not believe in islands, he did not believe in God. His father, the king, told him that such things did not exist. As there were no princesses or islands in his father's domains, and no sign of God, the prince believed his father.
But then, one day, the prince ran away from his palace and came to the next land. There, to his astonishment, from every coast he saw islands, and on these islands, strange and troubling creatures whom he dared not name. As he was searching for a boat, a man in full evening dress approached him along the shore. "Are those real islands?" asked the young prince.
"Of course they are real islands," said the man in evening dress.
"And those strange and troubling creatures?"
"They are all genuine and authentic princesses."
"Then God must also exist!" cried the prince.
"I am God," replied the man in evening dress, with a bow. The young prince returned home as quickly as he could. "So, you are back," said his father, the king.
"I have seen islands, I have seen princesses, I have seen God," said the prince reproachfully.
The king was unmoved.
"Neither real islands, nor real princesses, nor a real God exist." "I saw them!"
"Tell me how God was dressed."
"God was in full evening dress."
"Were the sleeves of his coat rolled back?"
The prince remembered that they had been. The king smiled. "That is the uniform of a magician. You have been deceived." At this, the prince returned to the next land and went to the same shore, where once again he came upon the man in full evening dress.
"My father, the king, has told me who you are," said the prince indignantly. "You deceived me last time, but not again. Now I know that those are not real islands and real princesses, because you are a magician."
The man on the shore smiled.
"It is you who are deceived, my boy. In your father's king- dom, there are many islands and many princesses. But you are under your father's spell, so you cannot see them."
The prince pensively returned home. When he saw his father, he looked him in the eye.
"Father, is it true that you are not a real king, but only a magician?"
The king smiled and rolled back his sleeves.
"Yes, my son, I'm only a magician."
"Then the man on the other shore was God."
"The man on the other shore was another magician."
"I must know the truth, the truth beyond magic."
"There is no truth beyond magic," said the king.
The prince was full of sadness. He said, "I will kill myself." The king by magic caused death to appear. Death stood in the door and beckoned to the prince. The prince shuddered. He remembered the beautiful but unreal islands and the unreal but beautiful princesses.
"Very well," he said, "I can bear it."
"You see, my son," said the king, "you, too, now begin to be a magician."

(from The Magus by John Fowles)

Yes, maybe I really become a magician because I have given an excuse to myself more and more that it’s ok to do the less volunteer work, just to survive first… Hahaha!