Post by jerboa on Dec 10, 2012 8:09:15 GMT
Just a random story that maybe someone will find useful, its from my younger days and starts around 11 years old.
I was never really that good as a student, dropping out of school at 13, and then going off on a wild journey through AWOL teenage years. After two years of that with some drug taking I think I'd finally realised I'd chosen wrongly.
I'd vanished from the radar of everyone I knew, having decided that they were no good for me. I'd closed the door on my life at that time, and remained in my room for what seemed at the time to be 3-4 years. Though in reality it was only about a year and a half. Often during this time I'd had random and intense headaches, mostly I believe through social deprivation, malnutrition and dehydration. These headaches often left me cowering in the corner of my room, clutching my head and trying not to cry out incase I had to go to see a doctor and find out something was wrong with me and then have people poking about in my life. Or trying to get me to do things or act in ways I wasn't ready or able to, I was stubborn and pretty wilful.
My mum knew me pretty well and had after trying everything she could left my to my own devices and hoped for the best. She was still there if I ever needed her though. Knowing myself this was all that could be done as I would have spurned or rejected any help.
Still after what seemed 3-4 years, though was only 1 and a half/ish, I started to come back to the world with help from a lot of people, whether they knew it or not I'm unsure. But through some sort of effort I'd managed to pull myself together enough and face being petrified of the world and walk down the street.
I'd got myself together and through a few social projects and found some friends. One of whom has become the fastest and best friend I could ever hope for and she is still around. We see each other often and usually talk all kinds of nonsense and weird. Lost touch a number of times, but always resurfaced at some point for each other and started off from where we left off.
Although looking back I find it hard to understand how I could be positive, in reality I don't often recall much of this stuff and find it fairly easy usually. Due to finding refuge in solitude I've developed the need to hide away and hermit, which has been a royal pain in the b**t. Its hard to keep anything going if it comes over me, if I could hibernate for a few months I'm pretty sure I'd wake up again and be fine with the rest of the world and ready to continue. Still maybe its just the grass is greener.
Hmm, I'd like to say everythings always been fine, but sometimes its not, still other times life has been amazing and there are plenty of tales to find if I'm in the state of mind that they live in. Feeling happy nostalgic is a journey through happy memories, just as sad nostalgic is through well the above tale.
I was never really that good as a student, dropping out of school at 13, and then going off on a wild journey through AWOL teenage years. After two years of that with some drug taking I think I'd finally realised I'd chosen wrongly.
I'd vanished from the radar of everyone I knew, having decided that they were no good for me. I'd closed the door on my life at that time, and remained in my room for what seemed at the time to be 3-4 years. Though in reality it was only about a year and a half. Often during this time I'd had random and intense headaches, mostly I believe through social deprivation, malnutrition and dehydration. These headaches often left me cowering in the corner of my room, clutching my head and trying not to cry out incase I had to go to see a doctor and find out something was wrong with me and then have people poking about in my life. Or trying to get me to do things or act in ways I wasn't ready or able to, I was stubborn and pretty wilful.
My mum knew me pretty well and had after trying everything she could left my to my own devices and hoped for the best. She was still there if I ever needed her though. Knowing myself this was all that could be done as I would have spurned or rejected any help.
Still after what seemed 3-4 years, though was only 1 and a half/ish, I started to come back to the world with help from a lot of people, whether they knew it or not I'm unsure. But through some sort of effort I'd managed to pull myself together enough and face being petrified of the world and walk down the street.
I'd got myself together and through a few social projects and found some friends. One of whom has become the fastest and best friend I could ever hope for and she is still around. We see each other often and usually talk all kinds of nonsense and weird. Lost touch a number of times, but always resurfaced at some point for each other and started off from where we left off.
Although looking back I find it hard to understand how I could be positive, in reality I don't often recall much of this stuff and find it fairly easy usually. Due to finding refuge in solitude I've developed the need to hide away and hermit, which has been a royal pain in the b**t. Its hard to keep anything going if it comes over me, if I could hibernate for a few months I'm pretty sure I'd wake up again and be fine with the rest of the world and ready to continue. Still maybe its just the grass is greener.
Hmm, I'd like to say everythings always been fine, but sometimes its not, still other times life has been amazing and there are plenty of tales to find if I'm in the state of mind that they live in. Feeling happy nostalgic is a journey through happy memories, just as sad nostalgic is through well the above tale.
