Should I doubt decisions if I encounter "omens"?

[clara927]

I feel like anytime I'm about to start anything, something happens where I start doubting my decision making. I started working somewhere because I thought it would be a good way to learn. The place itself was fine, for the most part, the owner was kind, the clients were understanding, and I was able to make conversation with the people there. But while I was there I kept feeling somehow I was doing something wrong. I was stressed out before I went there because of some conversations I had a few hours before. The when I left I had little unfortunate things happen that I felt were omens. I've been trying to make decisions based on what was in front of me "on paper", with no emotionalism involved, because I thought it was an effecctive way to get things done (for once in my life). Why am I now doubting my decisions based on omens? If I got along well with everyone there and didn't feel that anyone was "unsavory", why do I feel unsure? Am I just sabotaging my progress, by doubting myself?

[sparklekaz]

Hi Clara,

I do not think fearful thoughts or lack of confidence in yourself can be classed as an 'omen'. I don't know anyone who is not very nervous or worried that they will do something wrong, when they start a new job or venture that is outside of their normal activities. Indeed, every time I start something new, even if I have done it before I feel this way. Its a new place, new people, new routine. You have to settle into a job I think before those feelings start to ease.

You said a few 'unfortunate' things happened after you left the place, can you be more specific? Omens, I believe are an outer manifestation of our inner thoughts and beliefs. In the sense that we look outward for confirmation that what we are worrying about or fear inside, both good and bad are true! So if inside you think something is a bad idea, anything that sticks out to you, or unusual occurrence, you want to put down to the universe telling you, what you are doing is a bad idea. As in the saying what you think, you create. If your thoughts are negative, their is a tendency to 'think' everything you 'see' is a confirmation that you are doing the wrong thing.

I know from our conversations and from what you have written on the forum, that you do have a problem with self confidence. You have had some unfortunate experiences with previous jobs and its shaken your belief in yourself. To me when you say " the place itself was fine, for the most part, the owner was kind, the clients were understanding, and I was able to make conversation with the people there", is extremely encouraging and a good basis to start something new. I think you are letting your anxiety get the better of you in this instance.

Don't give up on something before it has even started properly Clara, because you are afraid you wont be good enough. You are anticipating something going wrong before you have even begun. If you don't try to stop this negative thinking, it will influence everything you do. Turn the fear around, and channel it into positive energy. Fear can sharpen our reactions and focus concentration if channeled well.

You ask if we think you are self sabotaging yourself. I think you know the answer to that Clara. Go for it my friend and give it your all. If it doesn't work out, then you can say with your hand on your heart you gave it 100 percent, and have no regrets and be proud of the effort you put in. You can do this Clara, you know you can. You were so excited about it, hold on to that excitement and confidence. Believe in yourself, because I BELIEVE IN YOU. Don't give up, before you've even begun, its wrong, you are so much more then that!

Love and light
Kaz

[Ishtahota]

What I have found is that Spirit does not make choices for me, they just set up my lessons according to the choices that I have made. Spirit is not even judgmental about my choices. Having said that I then needed to understand the two forces that were at work inside of me so that I could learn to use my inner guidance. And that is really why we are here, so that we can develop our inner guidance.
I have inside of me an ego which has learned to control my life threw the use of fear, panic, and anxiety. Those are the tools of the ego. Good and bad are duality concepts, they are not inside of me, they are just the excuses that I use when I do not want to take responsibility for my actions. I also have inside of me a heart and/or a heart center and that follows the promptings from spirit. My ego knows that when I follow my heart that it will loose control of my life, so it fights back with the only tools that it has, fear, panic, and anxiety. Greed, lust, envy,and so forth are the promptings from the ego, they are the poor reflections of what Spirit wants us to have.

[clara927]

Hello Kaz and Ishtahota,

Thank you both for replying.

Kaz, to be more specific what I thought the omens were, earlier when I was in chat I was I guess I had a conversation that wasnt so positive or I interpreted it that way. When I'm in chat Im usually in the library, and in the middle of the online conversation, a woman came adn sat next to me and started saying that I needed "to go to church so my gifts can be used in the church". Later that day, when I was coming out of the subway I kept bumping into people accidently inclusing someone very smelly so I felt dirty all day. Then when I went back in the subway to go home, the machine was malfunctioning and I ended up losing about $7 in transportation money.

As far as what it was like at the place, it was ok and everyone was nice, but I thought that one of the workers there liked me. It was nothing overt or sleazy, just random touches on the shoulder and I pretty much ignored it because I didnt want people to think I had an attitude. In the past I;ve been very stand off-ish because I didnt want anyone to get the wrong idea, but people tend to interpret it as me being snobby. It;s a male dominated field and Im the only woman working there and I dont want it to be an issue. Thats why I purposefully "dressed down", I didnt want to stand out any more than I already did. I was thinking that I could start a conversation like "Oh I love that movie! Me and my boyfriend went to see it last week.", just so everyone would know for sure that Im not available and that I plan to be professional. Im thinking of saying that the next time I go there, but I was seriously considering not going back. I should mention that its not at the moment a paid position (and my parents arent too happy about that) but they usually hire people after they become familiar with everything. I seriously will think about what you said, Kaz.

Thank you for your help.

[Smeets]

Clara - Don't be afraid my friend. You brought fear into your mind you can also face that fear and put it back.

[Smeets]

Clara, I went out for a smoke and then I thought of something else. You have to face fear head on. You can't sugar coat it. You can't flush it down the toilet and be done with it.

The very first time I conquered fear was when someone told me I smelled. I take pills for an illness and one of the side effects is for me to smell. I usually wear cologne but on this particular day I was not allowed to (apparantly at my work people get allergic). So when she told me I smelt I felt afraid. God forbid she should say that to me... how dare she! I didn't want it to get to me though so I simply said "whatever" with the most integrity I could muster and put my fear back where it came from, my mind.

We know where fear comes from. We just get confused when fear happens. We want to put it on anybody else. That wouldn't be a smart thing to do, cause you don't fully get rid of it.

Good luck. I hope you stay calm during any storm.