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Post by subsidinginsanity on Aug 29, 2012 6:21:50 GMT
I find myself day after day having to resist the side of me that hearkens back to primitive animal instincts. According to my beliefs this side represents ego. I know the term "ego" means different things to different people. There are those who say we should embrace ego as a part of us. To deny ego they claim is to deny ourself. Well, they must have a different ego than me because mine is none too pretty if you know what I mean.
Anyway, my question is this. How does one rid oneself of ego? Are there any here who have done so, and if so what method(s) would you recommend? I believe that following ACIM will one day accomplish this, but it seems to be taking too long. Are there any short cuts?
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Post by clara927 on Aug 29, 2012 6:41:04 GMT
Hello subsiding,
I doubt there are shortcuts to anything worthwhile in life. Also you're sure you wan to rid your self of your ego? Maybe I'm wrong about this but I don't think we can survive on earth without an ego. I can see that this worries you, but try your best to find ways to relax. It sounds funny coming from me, but I feel like you've got a lot on your mind. I feel like the less anxious you become the more able you able to deal with life outsde of your mind.
Btw I hope I didn't come off as patronizing because I need to listen to own advice as well.
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sparklekaz
Someone asked me.. What is your religion? I said, "All the paths that lead to the light".
Posts: 3,658
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Post by sparklekaz on Aug 29, 2012 11:28:58 GMT
Another good question Subsiding, The Ego, is a word that is bandied around to cover all manner of states of being. From being an egotist in an arrogant self obsessed form to the ego being the only way in which we can identify ourselves and set ourselves apart from another person. The ego likes to analyze things, to put up barriers, where there need not be any. The ego likes to create scenario's that are not real, well not real to anyone or relevant to anyone else but us. The ego projects onto others, thoughts that are really our own, so distorting facts and the reality of situations. I have thought long and hard over time about the ego. I wanted to come to a point, where I could look at myself, other people and life situations with clear eyes, to see the truth and not be deceived or manipulated by my own ego. I do see how the ego has its place, but was frustrated and felt blocked by the influence my ego had over me. I wanted to be a better person, someone who could react honestly to others, without my motives coming from a place that was not loving or spiritual. I have come to understand over time, that we cannot ignore or disown aspects of ourselves that we do not like, hoping they would magically disappear. Nothing just goes away, just because we pretend its not there anymore. It takes work, self examination and understanding, if we understand why we behave the way we do, we can put it in its rightful context, step back and think things through again, not allowing our ego to dictate our behaviour. I have always believed, that to grow and evolve spiritually, we have to draw together the separated aspects of the self, to become whole. To observe rather then be controlled by life, to rise above the obvious, to try and see things from an overall and philosophical perspective. To live life simply and in appreciation. One of the things about the ego I have struggled with in the past, is that at times it can be a contradiction. The effects of the ego, are not always bad in terms of getting the most out of life and striving to better ourselves. I wrestle with the idea, that by second guessing all our motives for doing things in life, it actually takes the joy out of living. For example, if we do something well, and for a moment sit back and feel a sense of pride in an accomplishment, are we being egotistical. Or if we wear a smart outfit and look in the mirror and feel a sense of self worth, again is this a bad thing because it comes from the ego? I have come to the conclusion at this point in my life that Self honesty, is the way forward with dealing with the ego. I can honestly say, I have tried to do this now for some time. I believe the effect of the ego, can be seen at its worst, when we are drawn into conflict situations. So, I now try to step back and look at the situation from a more objective point of view. I ask myself honestly, what are my motives or what do I want from this situation? Am I being fair and seeing things from the other person's point of view, not just from my own? I do find meditation very helpful. When I quieten my mind and find inner stillness, I find the ego's grip on me is at its quietest. This gives me peace. All I want is to live my life lovingly. I think of the ego as not being separate from me, simply an aspect of me that can be positive as well as negative. How much I let it influence me is whether it is beneficial or not and comes from a place of love. The ego is no different to your appetite. We have to eat to stay alive. It is good to enjoy your food and to eat healthily as much as you can because it can harm your body to do otherwise. The ego I believe has a similar function. But just like the appetite can be harmful if allowed to run rampant with no self control. I also believe the ego is a convenient whipping boy or scapegoat for some people. Rather then accepting responsibility for their own actions. They push the blame onto the ego as if it had nothing to do with them! Is their ego a runaway train on which they are a reluctant passenger and have no control over? I don't think so!!  Love and light Kaz |
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cyberangel
~ As above so below, as within so without ~
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Post by cyberangel on Aug 29, 2012 14:15:20 GMT
Hi Subsidinginsanity, You might find this interesting: Love and Light  |
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Post by rt369 on Aug 29, 2012 16:29:40 GMT
Hey Subsidinginsanity - One shortcut is a full frontal lobotomy, this procedure has been shown to be very effective at controlling the urges of the ego, however if you have a life, a job, a family or anything you care about it might not be a good idea. I've also heard that quieting the mind is very effective, it's easy to do, just deprive your brain of oxygen for about 10 to 15 minutes and it will go quiet... forever. But if you have anything on your calender for the rest of your life besides basic body functions this might not be such a good idea either. Other than that I'm not aware of any shortcuts to alter your brain chemistry, however if you're having none too pretty thoughts and desires I might suggest filling your head with something besides what's in there now. You do this by changing what you think about, changing what you see and do, avoid things that trigger these none too pretty thoughts and just try day by day, little by little to be a better person, there's no magic pill. You can never change who you are, no matter what you'll always be you, but you can be a better version of yourself, work on that.
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cyberangel
~ As above so below, as within so without ~
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Post by cyberangel on Aug 29, 2012 16:39:13 GMT
"Please post information here, do not just post links to other sites, keep the debate within the forum. TheGodLight"  Leon, is that quote just for me or does it apply to everybody? At least I had the courtesy of addressing the person first, which can't always be said when some have replied to my threads  My link was also in context with the post!!!! However, I take on board your valid point so long as that rule stands for everyone! |
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Post by The God Light on Aug 29, 2012 17:51:07 GMT
There has been too many links and nothing else on the forum of late.. A link is not a post. the forum is for discussion, not check this link, and here is a link in response to your link. Any posts that do not discuss the subject matter, will be deleted. you must think of others who read the post later.
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cyberangel
~ As above so below, as within so without ~
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Post by cyberangel on Aug 29, 2012 18:50:42 GMT
I agree it is a discussion board so point taken. I also accept I’ve done my share posting links, but I felt that I was used as the scapegoat which is why I was upset. I will abide by the rule.
In relation to the question of “How does one rid oneself of ego?” well I think it’s impossible as it would leave a person inapt and insentient.
My understanding of Sigmund Freud’s theory is that;
Id is what everybody is born with, it is the animal instinct, and the awareness of the body, that of what the body wants and desires.
Superego is the moral values of the consciousness. Superego is conditioned by society and a person’s upbringing.
Ego is the mind balancing the two. Id and the superego are constantly at odds with each other and that is ego’s job to present the best possible solution into the person’s reality.
I, also at one stage thought it might be possible to separate from my ego, but I soon understood that I need my ego for my survival, morality and reality and that without it I would cease to be.
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 1, 2012 5:18:51 GMT
Hello subsiding, I doubt there are shortcuts to anything worthwhile in life. Also you're sure you wan to rid your self of your ego? Maybe I'm wrong about this but I don't think we can survive on earth without an ego ... I feel like the less anxious you become the more able you are to deal with life outside of your mind. Well, if there are no shortcuts then there are certainly ways to prolong the process. I believe that a few are actually able to separate themselves permanently from their ego. Once they accomplish this there is no more reason for them to appear here on earth although some probably hang around awhile for the benefit of others. Anxiousness is of course incompatible with peace, but the question is: Is there life outside of the mind? |
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 1, 2012 6:16:18 GMT
The Ego, is a word that is bandied around to cover all manner of states of being. From being an egotist in an arrogant self obsessed form to the ego being the only way in which we can identify ourselves and set ourselves apart from another person. Yea, more specifically to perceive our self as apart from God. That's really all the ego is, the idea of separation. In such a way it is God's opposite because God is all encompassing. It's a very strange problem. On the one hand the ego only has the power we give it, yet on the other hand for all my complaining about it I still choose it. How insane is that? The ego causes suffering and can not survive without our devotion to it, and yet people say that they do not want to suffer but stay devoted to it. Sometimes I think we must not be too clever. The ego likes to analyze things, to put up barriers, where there need not be any. The ego likes to create scenario's that are not real, well not real to anyone or relevant to anyone else but us. The ego projects onto others, thoughts that are really our own, so distorting facts and the reality of situations. I can tell you have noticed the same sorts of things about ego as I have. I have thought long and hard over time about the ego. I wanted to come to a point, where I could look at myself, other people and life situations with clear eyes, to see the truth and not be deceived or manipulated by my own ego. I do see how the ego has its place, but was frustrated and felt blocked by the influence my ego had over me. I wanted to be a better person, someone who could react honestly to others, without my motives coming from a place that was not loving or spiritual. The only real place the ego has is to see ourselves as separate from each other and from God. Do not these very bodies deny that we are God's children? I know there are many people who highly value individualism, but personally I seek only to see things in terms of wholeness or sameness. The way I see others is the way I see myself. I have come to understand over time, that we cannot ignore or disown aspects of ourselves that we do not like, hoping they would magically disappear. Nothing just goes away, just because we pretend its not there anymore. It takes work, self examination and understanding, if we understand why we behave the way we do, we can put it in its rightful context, step back and think things through again, not allowing our ego to dictate our behavior. Repression solves nothing. In fact, it probably just reinforces ego. I've come to believe that it is necessary to love ego. I know this sounds strange because I sound like I'm against it, but what one resists persists. To fight against something is to acknowledge the reality of it. Hence, it only reinforces ego. I constantly see ego all around me. My ego loves to condemn the ego I perceive in others. Sometimes my ego is wounded by words or actions and for a period of time all I can think about is retaliation. I've come to believe that the only way I can love others is to love ego. Whatever faults I see in them I see in myself because my ego is just as bad. I can choose to listen to ego or not to, so my true self must be something other than ego. In this way I see the true self of everybody as perfect. They are just deceived by ego. I have always believed, that to grow and evolve spiritually, we have to draw together the separated aspects of the self, to become whole. To observe rather then be controlled by life, to rise above the obvious, to try and see things from an overall and philosophical perspective. To live life simply and in appreciation. Has the true self ever separated, or is it just our belief in ego that makes it appear as such? If Spirit is perfect then there is no need to evolve. I look at it in terms of an awakening. As we slowly disempower the ego we slowly realize what we have always been. On the surface it appears as though we are changing, but in reality we are only waking up from the ego dream. One of the things about the ego I have struggled with in the past, is that at times it can be a contradiction. The effects of the ego, are not always bad in terms of getting the most out of life and striving to better ourselves. I wrestle with the idea, that by second guessing all our motives for doing things in life, it actually takes the joy out of living. Inspiration and motivation are enough to achieve whatever you feel needs to be achieved. I would argue that such things come from Spirit rather than ego. For example, if we do something well, and for a moment sit back and feel a sense of pride in an accomplishment, are we being egotistical. Or if we wear a smart outfit and look in the mirror and feel a sense of self worth, again is this a bad thing because it comes from the ego? There's a difference between feeling good about a job well done and becoming arrogant about it. A positive self image need not reflect ego. If you love others you should also love yourself. I have come to the conclusion at this point in my life that Self honesty, is the way forward with dealing with the ego. I can honestly say, I have tried to do this now for some time. I believe the effect of the ego, can be seen at its worst, when we are drawn into conflict situations. So, I now try to step back and look at the situation from a more objective point of view. I ask myself honestly, what are my motives or what do I want from this situation? Am I being fair and seeing things from the other person's point of view, not just from my own? Conflict situations are hard for me to. Sometimes I just say nothing. Conflict is the ego's bread and butter. I do find meditation very helpful. When I quieten my mind and find inner stillness, I find the ego's grip on me is at its quietest. This gives me peace. All I want is to live my life lovingly. I think of the ego as not being separate from me, simply an aspect of me that can be positive as well as negative. How much I let it influence me is whether it is beneficial or not and comes from a place of love. If you accept ego as part of your true self then you accept your true self as all the things we love to hate about ego. I see ego as an idea that I chose to believe in. As such I can change my mind about it. The ego is no different to your appetite. We have to eat to stay alive. It is good to enjoy your food and to eat healthily as much as you can because it can harm your body to do otherwise. The ego I believe has a similar function. But just like the appetite can be harmful if allowed to run rampant with no self control. Interesting analogy. I also believe the ego is a convenient whipping boy or scapegoat for some people. Rather then accepting responsibility for their own actions. They push the blame onto the ego as if it had nothing to do with them! Is their ego a runaway train on which they are a reluctant passenger and have no control over? I don't think so!! [/justify][/quote] It is our decision to listen to ego or not to. Ego by itself is powerless. It is only a thought, and without a thinker it is nothing. |
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 1, 2012 6:27:11 GMT
In relation to the question of “How does one rid oneself of ego?” well I think it’s impossible as it would leave a person inapt and insentient. My understanding of Sigmund Freud’s theory is that; Id is what everybody is born with, it is the animal instinct, and the awareness of the body, that of what the body wants and desires. Superego is the moral values of the consciousness. Superego is conditioned by society and a person’s upbringing. Ego is the mind balancing the two. Id and the superego are constantly at odds with each other and that is ego’s job to present the best possible solution into the person’s reality. I, also at one stage thought it might be possible to separate from my ego, but I soon understood that I need my ego for my survival, morality and reality and that without it I would cease to be. I see my true self as Love or Spirit. Ego is everything else. |
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 1, 2012 6:31:17 GMT
Hey Subsidinginsanity - One shortcut is a full frontal lobotomy ... LOL! ;D |
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 1, 2012 6:41:59 GMT
Hi Subsidinginsanity, The way I understand it is this Most of my learning on the subject came from the book 'I'm ok - you're ok' which described the superego, ego and id as the parent, adult and child. That comparison helped me to understand the theory more easily. The parent or superego is in play when we are protective, nurturing, when we want to give others or ourselves a little 'pep talk'. It allows us to set standards that we can aspire to, to evaluate our performance and that of other people. It can be harshly critical of self or others, make unreasonable demands, lead to anxiety, depression, repression. Our superego is influenced by the parenting that we experienced and by the authority figures that have influenced us in the course of our lives, but particularly in the early years. The id, or 'child', is what we are born with. It is what allows us to cry when hungry, cold or uncomfortable. Its role is to help us to meet our basic needs such as food, warmth, love and comfort. As we grow, its role widens to take in more of our wishes. Someone totally ruled by the id would find it hard to wait, to be told 'no', to understand the feelings or wishes of others, and to have their wishes refused or delayed. They might be seen by others as being selfish and unempathic. The ego, or adult, develops as we mature. It needs nurturing in order to develop well an not be swamped by the conflicting demands of the superego and id. The ideal ego is the cool, calm, sensible mediator. It can say to the parent, 'hey, that was a bit harsh' or 'I hear you, another bag of sweets would not be a good idea, today'. It can say to the child, 'ok, so you want a cookie. But it's nearly dinner time and I think it is best to wait' or 'Ok let's do it, let's go to the party and dance all night, it's time to let our hair down'! The adult needs to be strong, healthy and wise to mediate between the id and superego and create a pattern of thinking and behavior that is happy and healthy for us and for those who surround us. It needs to know when to be stern, when to be playful, when to control impulses and when to express them. The id and superego are neither good nor bad, as they both have positive functions to play in our lives. We can't do without them but their darker side can make life difficult. They depend on the ego to a large extent to monitor the information that comes through from these parts of our psyche and to use them as the raw materials to create a healthy way of thinking, a healthy personality and a well lived life. The development of a healthy ego largely is dependent on good parenting during our early years, but it's never too late to learn, and there are many self help books that will assist us in this development at any point in our lives. When I think about it, this lesson, for me, has been one that commenced at birth and still continues. Our parents, while being the biggest influence on our lives, should not be blamed or resented for they had their own struggles and their own learning process to go through and for the most part, although imperfect, were simply doing the best they could do. I believe that this task of integration of the ego is a task for humanity as a whole, in order to create a world where everyone has value and we can share our resources in a way that allows all needs to be met without conflict or exploitation of the planet or any of its inhabitants. I think we have a long way to go, and the challenge is to keep talking and keep working on it, and one day we'll get there! You describe ego in terms of everything that goes on and influences us here on earth, and with that I agree. I see the ego as my false self. My True Self is what I was before I ever chose to separate from God. I guess I see my journey as one of changing my mind about the decision I made. If you know of any methods to shed the ego other than a lobotomy or suicide I'd much rather hear about that. |
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Post by rt369 on Sept 5, 2012 16:43:37 GMT
Well except for getting rid of it you seem to have this ego thing analized and all figured out. Freudian theory is great if your a psychologists, physiologist or a medical doctor like freud was but is it all true, does it work? Doctors like to break things down and categorize them into neat little boxes so they can seperate and study them like biological samples growing in a petri dish. For my part I think some things can't be seperated or divided into compartments without destroying what is being studied. Since it's inception psychoanalysis and treatments haven't worked very well and actually have a dismal success rate and a sorry track record of failed therapies but they might have a pill for that?. I don't think Freuds theorys are a very good benchmark or signpost to guide you on your journey of self discovery and awareness. I think it's healthier to view yourself as one thing consisting of body mind and spirit and quit trying to seperate it and break it down. Just learn to live with it because until you die this is your reality, this is where you are, this is all you get, there's no magic spells or shortcuts to happiness. At the end of the day that's what it all boils down to, being happy and content with your life and what you have. So don't worry, just be happy... be a better person, take the best of it and leave the rest behind.
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 5, 2012 17:48:33 GMT
rt369, ACIM says not to deny your experience and my experience in very close to what you described. I've come to believe that it's probably impossible for us to shed the ego by ourselves. ACIM says that Spirit's job is enormous while our job is miniscule. All we really need to do is allow Spirit to make the changes for us. We do this by filling our life with love and remaining open to the blessings offered us. I think that maybe as much as 90% of our journey is just learning how to live with and get along with other people. The remaining 10% may be to go the extra mile and love people. Thanks for your comments.
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Smeets
I have Brain Noise!
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Post by Smeets on Sept 7, 2012 17:34:31 GMT
If you want your ego to go away for a long time try painting! It calms you down.
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Smeets
I have Brain Noise!
Posts: 75
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Post by Smeets on Sept 9, 2012 11:04:49 GMT
High ego can lead to people being mean. When you think you are smart you tend to look down your nose at other people who are not. When you think you are smarter than everyone else you go on an ego trip and tend to hate people for their faults. It's the I'm smarter than you affect. I'm better and you're not. I think respecting each others differences is what will overcome this.
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Smeets
I have Brain Noise!
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Post by Smeets on Sept 9, 2012 11:30:37 GMT
I think you like to disect life as much as possible, which isn't bad, but life is also in the dance.
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 10, 2012 3:49:13 GMT
Heh ... words of wisdom. I forget how good the ego is at what it does. I'm a Leo you see.  |
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Post by angelman on Sept 12, 2012 0:37:15 GMT
hi subsidinginsanity,
Your ego is a valuable tool or learning aide on your journey back to living as a spiritual being and its not a very wise decision to want to get rid of it before it's time is up(we come with an inbuilt way out mechanism). Its purpose and the world it is in is to show you all the feelings that are within you already (we don't catch feelings good or bad like a virus)feelings that you like and want to keep and those that you do not like or want to keep, some feelings belong to your spirit self,love, peace, joy, gratitude, while all other feelings belong to your ego self, anger, sadness, hate, guilt n so on...the ego helps us to choose one over the other as a state of being ego/human or spiritual, we do this every day and many many times throughout the day by way of our reactions and response's to the world outside and the thoughts inside. We also use the ego self to learn and teach each other by way of example and reflection, we show the good the bad and the ugly so a choice can be made, of course you must know both sides in order to be able to make a choice. from your OP it seems to me you know the side you don't want, so I would suggest you make getting to know your spiritual self a daily priority this is very simply done by remembering a loved one and feeling the love rising within you and shining it from you in all directions without restriction like a light, after a while you can do it without remembering a loved one and simply feel love and light shining and you become the loved one, so the way to end ego is to choose to ! but maybe let it run its course !
P
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 16, 2012 22:09:54 GMT
Your ego is a valuable tool or learning aide on your journey back to living as a spiritual being and its not a very wise decision to want to get rid of it before it's time is up(we come with an inbuilt way out mechanism). Its purpose and the world it is in is to show you all the feelings that are within you already (we don't catch feelings good or bad like a virus)feelings that you like and want to keep and those that you do not like or want to keep, some feelings belong to your spirit self,love, peace, joy, gratitude, while all other feelings belong to your ego self, anger, sadness, hate, guilt n so on...the ego helps us to choose one over the other as a state of being ego/human or spiritual, we do this every day and many many times throughout the day by way of our reactions and response's to the world outside and the thoughts inside. We also use the ego self to learn and teach each other by way of example and reflection, we show the good the bad and the ugly so a choice can be made, of course you must know both sides in order to be able to make a choice. I see ego in slightly different terms. Rather than helping me to decide between the good and the bad feelings, I see ego as only the bad feelings like the ones you mentioned. My true self decides whether to listen to ego or to Spirit. Kind of like the devil and the angel on the shoulder. From your OP it seems to me you know the side you don't want, so I would suggest you make getting to know your spiritual self a daily priority this is very simply done by remembering a loved one and feeling the love rising within you and shining it from you in all directions without restriction like a light, after a while you can do it without remembering a loved one and simply feel love and light shining and you become the loved one, so the way to end ego is to choose to ! but maybe let it run its course ! P I like that. Thanks for your advice. One day I shall shine away the ego! ;D |
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Post by subsidinginsanity on Sept 16, 2012 22:35:02 GMT
I hope people don't take this the wrong way, but I just noticed it and thought I'd share it. Well, I guess I just have to get over the very beginning ...  |
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Post by aspirant on Sept 20, 2012 5:01:55 GMT
For your consideration:
There are moments when i act or speak and look back at them and say "Fantastic! I aligned with something greater!" Could it be that this expression is my individuality - a particular personification of source/god/all that is?
There a moments when i act or speak and look back at them and what to put a paper bag over my head!
Perhaps both are expressions of ego ... one more mature than the other.
Put another way - I can look back and mutter to myself rhetorically "God - look what I've done now!" = pain of the ego.
Or raise the question beyond me and genuinely pray "God - look what I've done now!" = power of the ego.
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