Resentment

[mccoist]

Helllo reader i am writing this concerning resentment
Resentment reared its head in my thoughts after the passing away of an uncle of mine.The family dictum then kicked in and i am finding it very difficult to deal with the various thoughts and resentful feelings which have come up in me
As with all families there is a certain pack order.In my family we have one particulary one very greedy agressive unthrustworthy individual,
I am just tired of this behaviour and took a stand and made my feelings clear on her behaviour.
This on the face of it seems all well and good,but now i seem to be in overdrive, I long to distance myself from her and her ways. It is annoying me how I constantly bring her in to my thoughts and conversations. oother people who also dislike her seem to be fueling the flame also.
I have asked them not to discuss he or anything about her.
The crux of this is my feelings my resentfullness and how deep angry and how much of my time it is in my life ,this is even feedind the flames of resentment.
Maybe time will heal this and allow me to let my thoughts relax
Maybe some one has experience and can offer advise
Maybe there is a meditation exercise which helps people deal with this issue

I would well come a discussion or an exchange of views

I realise this is a common complaint among people so i am not looking for their story but rather how they resolved their issues on resentfullness

[sparklekaz]

Hi Mcc,

I think it is important to bear in mind just how you are feeling at the moment, when it comes to focusing on certain aspects of other people's behaviour.

Do not underestimate just how the power of grief and loss can impact on our senses and how it can affect the way we view life and other people. Anger for me towards others, loss of patience with behaviour I had known of but chose to ignore or it didn't bother me, now did. I am not saying this is always the case. But anger and resentment is a very powerful distraction from the pain of emotional loss.

Look at what you are feeling. Ask yourself why are you feeling so resentful. Is it that you are seeing a side of someone you had not noticed before. If they are grieving too, bear in mind that grief does affect people's behaviour. Is it that you do not approve of a decision or action someone else has taken. I know finances are often a big source of contention when someone passes. To some discussing the finances seems to diminish the life of the person who has passed as if at the end it comes down to who gets what. People are dealing with all kinds of conflicting emotions.

Ultimately, we are all different. There are people in the world who see finances in terms of security and for whatever reason, lack of love in their life or any sense of real worth outside of a financial worth has no meaning for them. You and I believe that a life without love, friendship and the affection of others can not be substituted. But that is where we are at!

It is not our place to judge others because they do not feel this way. Or have not yet reached a point in their spiritual growth, that they understand it. Try to connect with the compassionate aspect of self. The part of you that can look beyond what appears on the surface and try to understand the motives beneath. I think it might help you.

Love and light
Kaz

[cyberangel]

Dear Mccoist,

I have suffered anger with someone because they caused my family pain and it got to the stage where I sat and wrote them a letter explaing how they have hurt my family and in doing so hurt me too. I received a nasty reply which didnt surprise me. I carried that pain, hurt and anger around with me for a couple of months and I was constantly asking my angels to help me rid the anger but to no avail. I tried to forgive them but me ego would not let it go. So I was trapped with this negative energy with no way of releasing it, until one night.

I went to bed and before I fell asleep I begged again to God, the angels the universe to whatever energy was out there to please help me. I soon fell asleep and I dreamt that I could see this person from afar, and they looked weak and feble and instead of anger I felt pity, so I forgave them in my dream and all the anger and hurt that had built up turned to venum in my mouth and I spat it out in my dream.

Now, as they walked closer I realised it was myself I could see and not that person at all, and because I had spat out all the venum I felt such a relief. When I woke up I felt like a load had been lifted off my back. And although I have not spoken to this person in real life I know that I have forgiven them and in doing so I have forgiven and freed myself also.

I dont know if this helps you much, but it certainly helped me. I wish you luck mccoist. Its not easy to let go of hurt and anger, but also know its not easy to hold on to it either as it eventually weighs you down, and out of the two its far easier to let it go than to hang on to it.

Love and Light

[subsidinginsanity]

Well, according to ACIM anger is never justified because we made this whole thing up our self. That's hard to swallow, and oftentimes people don't react well to it. Here's something you can try.

Relax yourself, close your eyes, and sit quietly and comfortably somewhere peaceful. Imagine that out of the darkness a beautiful light appears way off in the distance. Slowly the beautiful light comes closer until it completely engulfs you. Feel all the love that comes from it. Now imagine an altar appearing before you. Place all the things that are troubling you on the altar. Now watch as the altar fades away into the perfect light. At this point imagine that you are no longer a body but have actually become the light so that there is no place where you end or the light begins. The light in now all encompassing. Nothing exists outside of it. Feel free to remain in this state for as long as you like.

This is a way of giving your burdens over to God, or "Spirit", or "Source", if you prefer, and declaring that there is nothing that comes before God in your life. If this is true than what grudge can you have? You may find that the ego really hates this stuff. I'm convinced that such meditative states are capable of one day undoing it.

Be well and at peace.

[mccoist]

Thank you good people for replies

The last few days have been interesting
I found meditating hard until i attended agroup meditation class
Funnily enough I had no problem meditating ,the power of the group
For some reason I meditated on myself and being present
This lead me to astate of where I focused on myself my form as energy
which I also extended to everyone else in the class
From here I saw everybody as just form and energy and which eventually saw myself fom a position of no self.
The class then had an odd moment.The person next to me was noisy as in scratching and moving ,which I just viewed as this is his energy,and did not let it bother me,but during a break a fellow meditator asked me to be silent ,how odd was this ,once again i just let it be,
life is strange sometimes,and people are even stranger
I am letting my energy focus on better things in life than resentment
It is a time consuming energy sapping indulgence by myself,which i do not need.
i will give amore detailed thoughts on this subject if people want,
mccoist

[mccoist]

hello sparkles cyber and subsiding
ty for replies

while the initial energy of my resentment and anger has subsided ,i still find myself very annoyed at my self and others
i have been trying as cyber advises to forgive and reconcile myself to my resentment it is indeed difficult
i am pracicing metta [loving kindness meditation] which is helping me,
take care people
mccoist