just so confused and tormented...need help

[jessiethecorgi]

I am so confused. i have had a terrible love life. my father sabotaged my romances while being incestuous with my sister. i was considered minority in my home town because it was KKK. if they couldn't stop me they would abuse girls that wanted to be with me. i have all these mental problem and issues. these people don't seem to have any problems despite what they do. they abuse me and they abuse women of my country of origin. they enforce a no touch policy but don't pay the same respect back. how can god allow this to happen. i am so vexed with spirits tormenting me and it clouds my head and i can't resolve the issues. it takes decades to get rid of a voice or movie. the people who have offended me have community and money and healthy love lives. how can god not give them problems like he has given me even though i want to serve him.

[gruntal]

Without taking sides; and looking at things in the broadest way possible: the world of lately has seem to gone mad with a downhill economy; epidemic AIDS; a demigrathic scenario where seemingly no one wants to bring more children into the world. Of course it isn't so for everybody on an individual basis. In fact I do not know if anything is all that much worst then it was before.

I do take a smug perverse pleasure in seeing it "all come out". There was some ancient verse in the Torah that as I recall went: "and the secrets of the heart shall be shouted from the roof tops". If at any point in time you feel bad just look at what the world is doing to itself and how utterly impossible it is becoming to hide. I have said it before and will say it again: sometimes you are fortunate just to be able to sit down with the others and survive. Many will not. Nor will a lifetime of denial surve them well in the end.

Picture yourself as a finality when all is said and done. By then there will be no arguments, no rationale, no image; nothing but how well you lived up to your beliefs and abilities.

[jessiethecorgi]

thank you gruntal. looking at it as a process where i will be punished and or rewarded for living right and to the level of my ability is really centering. could you or somebody interpret the Torah about the secrets of the heart being shouted from the roof tops. does that mean that all my faults will be exposed or the law of god will be known to all. doesn't everybody already know the law of god. we all have a conscience.

[clara927]

Hello Jessie,

I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know if punishment or reward is the best way to think about it. When one thinks about it like that, it's very easy to be afraid or hurt because then you would always be expecting God to punish or be upset when it seems God hasn't rewarded you. It almost becomes like a competition for God's love and I don't think that you have to compete for God's love. God always love you and care for you regardless of your "performance". I know it's not easy, but you should try not to compare yourself with other people. I think we hurt ourselves more when we compare. Also, we have control over our lives, but not so much others. If others do something wrong (depending on the severity), aside from distancing yourself from them, praying for them and those that they hurt, there's not much you can do about it. I really think it's God's job. I think that you'll be more lighthearted if you don't take on the responsibility of other people or God. It's not easy to let things go (I'm struggling with this now), but when you do, you feel better.

[gruntal]

I researched what I thought came from a Old Testiment prophet and discoverd it was attributed to the Master Jesus as an admonition to his disciples. As always there are a lot of contradictions begging for interpretations but this much is obvious: what was taught at some point in time in a calm quiet sequestered way would eventually come out as a utterly defiant shout if not outright challenge. It would not be comfortable in the end but would prevail as it was the truth.

An individual might find himself depending on their state of being as the humble recipient of knowledge or the aggressive disseminator of enlightenment. So "seeing the light" might be desirable but also a mighty burden too since you weren't allowed to hide anymore or keep quiet.

So eventually it gets worst and better at the same time! What we thought was our valley of dispair was actually a hiatus untill the BIG challenge came! I don't know if that is much comfort but it does tend to put the present in a new prospective. I tend to think you wouldn't be bothered now if you weren't eventually slated for bigger things to come.

[Ishtahota]

There is a spiritual law that we all live under, weather we want to or not. (As inside so also outside). What this means is that we go out and create our true reflection of our inner self. A person at war outside, is late at night and in the dark at war with self. If they hate people in their outside world, they also hate somethings about themselves and their life. They have no peace on the inside. Do not buy their smillings faces because it is a lie. I grew up these kind of people and I know them well. When they get to the end of their life they are consumed with the BIG EMPTY.
Pitty them for they will never know source, peace, or any of the things that desent people can come to know.

[jessiethecorgi]

TY GRUNTAL & ISHTAHOTA. I appreciate you looking this up for me gruntal. it was very enlightening and i can see my trip. i have been reading your posts ishtahota. you are a very enlightened man. You have both offered me great insight. i guess the real issue is the witchcraft these people where laying on me. there is this exacerbation that amplifies the humiliation of God making me subject to people that are against him while i want to serve him. i guess i am angry at god but have to endure my generational curse. i will research this info and other knowledge you have i would welcome.

[Ishtahota]

Here is some knowledge that you do not have. The ultimate in spiritual power comes from people who have done their work to develope conscious contact, their power comes from source, it comes from inside of self from that connection. Witchcraft people get their power from outside of self from other people places and things that they think has power, and that is their flaw, there power is weak. Their power over you comes mostly from your fear of them.
A spell of that nature is tricky. Dark things created to hurt someone take on a life of their own, weather the creator of this thing knows it or not it must feed. It's food is your fear. If it can not feed on you it will return to it's creator to feed, like a lost child.
When you are afraid you are sending out your energy and/or life force without dirrection or intent. A spell is just a thought form that will use your energy against you.
People or spirits that suck your energy are different. They still use fear to control and they use your fear as their power. For people and wayward spirits just sour the milk. Stop being afraid and start sending them energy with your intent and direction in it. When your intent is in the energy they can not use it for their purposes's. Send them energy to see the truth about who they really are, send them energy to heal what is wrong in themselves. They will heal or they will go feed elsewhere.
There is a truth to (LOVE THY ENEMY) that most can not and do not want to see.
Everything in the spiritual world works backwards from the way we think it does from the physical point of view.

[shaw-09]

ishtahota... you are extreme ly right... U have just activated another side of myself... jessiethecorgi... I really feel u got ur significant answer ... wen i have this issues with creatures... I sit and talk to them on why are they doing it... but u have to be straong... wen i did it i had goosebumps physically... but then i channeled the energy within to over power it.. build ur SELF by listening to it more often..