What Is Unforgivable

[Leon]

What do you see as unforgivable, whether it be an act against you, or a crime against humanity. Would you draw a line with what you would forgive and what you find impossible to forgive?

[bluestarman1]

As I'm sure you're aware the Bible lists only one unforgivable sin, and it's so egregiously bad that it can't even be properly described. To be forgiven we must first have the capacity to forgive. However forgiving and forgetting are two entirely different animals. If you reach under a log and a snake bites you, you must forgive the snake. But there is nothing that says you have to reach under the log again.

[tinamarie]

There are certain issues I struggle deeply with, and forgiveness is top of the list. How many times have I heard ... "we need to forgive ourselves first before we can forgive others" ... "forgiveness sets you free" ... "just because you forgive, doesn't mean you forget" ... "forgiveness is letting go" ... yada yada yada ... ugggghhhhhh!!!!! I was asked a few years back, "you CAN'T or you WON'T forgive?", and these were the ONLY words spoken to me by this person. Whether dealing with forgiveness, or something else we need to overcome in life, these two simple questions .. "you can't? or you won't?" ... are definitely worth considering.

[DeeUSA]

Leon good question. Tina and Blue good replies. My reply to this....well first Tina you brought up a good question "you CAN'T or you WON'T forgive?" I have to believe that you won't forgive. Forgiveness is a necessary tool needed to make it through life. Sometimes that's where "baggage" comes from...our inablity to forgive.

Forgiveness is not for the person who wronged us (although it may look like that to everyone else) but for ourself. If you continue to hold on to those negative feelings all its goin to do is eat away at a person and make them into a bitter man or woman.

I glad to say that I am able to forgive the wrongdoings of others. It was a long road to travel but somehow I've made it to that point. I think that it just became a burden to continue to be mad at this and that person and to remember whom I'm not speaking to, what phone call not to answer...etc.

I think my best revenge for anyone who hurts me is to be happy...genuinely happy. It makes them wonder if I'm suffering from memory loss...or just plum crazy! lol

There's a saying...."never let no one steal your joy." And by not forgiving that's exactly what we do. Allow for someone to steal our joy.

Blessings
Dee

[DeeUSA]

Oh wow! I didn't answer Leon's question though lol. What find impossible to forgive is really nothing. I wasn't put on this earth to judge...that's God's job. Now I would find certain things that will be a lot harder to forgive. If someone hurts my daughter or my parents...that's going to be an issue or me!

People who hurt little children and senior citizens really make it hard for me to forgive.

[sylvie]

I think it depends what the crime is, and doesn't the crime highlight our own values? If this is right, we'll never agree, because what offends me, might not offend others

[sparklekaz]

Forgiveness, it is a very emotive subject. I have read what you have all said, and I agree with a lot of the responses you have given. It is clear why it is good to forgive others. Holding on to pain and resentment, anger and bitterness are all bitter pills to swallow. Terribly damaging to the person who feels this way. But... I think it is easier said then done if the hurt has gone very deep and the repercussions have been far reaching.

We all make mistakes, on the whole, if someone has hurt my feelings, or lied or said nasty things about me, I would forgive. I really don't hold a grudge, because life is too short. I would also like to think that people would be as forgiving to me. But as Dennis said it is all relative. Some things are more hurtful then others depending on your point of view.

Loss of trust is usually one that is hardest if not to forgive but to forget. For me the saddest thing about being hurt is the consequences. Forgiveness is easy to say, but often people have to live with the affects of what was done to them, for the rest of their lives.

I have to be honest and say I do not know how I'd feel if I was put in the position of having to forgive someone who took the life of a loved one. I would really want to, but the pain, the loss and the grief, would make it extremely difficult. We are only human, I am only human, I am not a saint or an enlightened spiritual holy man. It is definitely one of those questions where the answer for me would have to be 'I do not know how I would react until I was put in that situation'.

Love and light
Kaz

[Floraloak]

What is unforgivable… good question Leon and some very good replies too.

Many years ago I would have had a long list. Today however, that list has shortened considerably. Today, I have to say there is nothing on my list that is unforgivable (nothing that I’m aware of)… the key to forgiveness is understanding… forgiveness begins with forgiving ourselves for the part we played in the situation… so to be able to forgive ourselves we need to understand the part we played in the situation… once we understand the part we played forgiveness is very close behind that understanding and it then becomes easier to forgive.

Once we forgive ourselves for the part we played, forgiving the other party becomes much easier and in many instances becomes a ‘matter of fact’ type thing… or you’ll find yourself wondering why they need forgiveness as your perception of the incident will have changed in your own forgiveness.

Now that’s not to say it will be easy and that smooth each time… (Although it could be if we let it be easy)… How hard or easy this process is becomes our choice… it’s up to us… I totally agree it comes down to ‘You will or you won’t’… ‘can’t’ just doesn’t exist… ‘can’t’ is everyone’s favorite illusion.

God bless,
Silvia

[Ishtahota]

This life and this realm is a school and if we are truely spirits having a human experience then the rules, cares, and concerns are different. The animal human and its ego only live for about 100 years at best and it would see a lot more as unforgivable. Myself as a spirit, I can see letting go of a lot more, even murder.
One thing that Spirit showed me about a saying from the Christians Bible seems to fit here. "Judge not least yea also be judged." If I can not forgive someone for something that they have done to me, the wheel will turn and one day I will wake up to find that I am treating someone else as I was treated. Real forgiveness has to be both said and felt in the heart or it is not so. If I say that I forgive but I do not feel it in my heart then I am holding a judgement.
Now having sayed that, is there an unforgivable sin? The same book says that Gods love is unconditional. Seeing the truth in sayings from the good book can be tricky. If the sayings contridict each other then the flaw has to be in how we are thinking.

[bluestarman1]

This post hit a nerve with me on a very personal level. I've been trying to decide whether to post this because it is so personal. However it is an example of the power of forgiveness, so here goes.

Someone very dear to me suffered a terrible, terrible wrong as a little girl. The person responsible for the suffering was someone she loved and trusted, someone that should have protected her. Instead this person shattered her young world by doing unspeakable things to her. This person also allowed others to violate this innocent child. Fortunately this little girl was soon removed from this man and never had any contact with him again. But the damage had been done. The little girl's childhood was ripped from her. Her teen and early adult years were marred by self-destructive activities that resulted from feelings of hate, anger, and shame that she was barely able to control. Even after we met it took many years of patience before she could trust me enough to find at least some of the joy and happiness she deserved. Decades passed and she was able to love and allow herself to be loved, but she never could let go of an overwhelming desire to seek revenge on this person who caused her so much pain.

This man died a couple of years ago. No one would even claim the body. The little girl, now a middle-aged woman, looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked "What do I do now? What can I do to him now?" My answer surprised me as much as it did her. "Forgive him," I said. "It's all you can do." She looked at me as if I had a horn growing from my forehead, but after she thought about it she understood my meaning. If she was ever going to have any closure in her life, any true joy, she had to rid herself of this vile, despicable creature that was still controlling her. Forgiving him completely took his power away. Of course, she'll never be fully whole but this is one demon that no longer haunts her. Like Dee said forgiving others is always for your peace of mind.