My Crazy Dream

[wildangel716]

I have been having alot of strange dreams lately but one stands out in my mind and I'm not sure why, I don't have alot of experience with dream interpretation so maybe some of you will be able to help,

I had a dream in which there were three ppl whom I don't know in life but I seemed to know quite well in my dream.. One was female and two were male, the female and I were sitting and talking in my dining room, there was a list and we were going over things that needed to be put onto the list, I cant remember exactly what we were planning though.. Then these three men came into my house, one is an old friend of my husbands from Ga., the others I didn't recognize but there was one that I didn't like, he gave me a very negative feeling and I didn't want him there though I didn't say so because thats not in my nature to be rude to ppl in my home.. They stayed for just a bit and then said they were leaving to go to someone else's house but after only a few minutes the two I didn't know came back, I asked them what they were doing and they both stated that they had decided not to go and intended to hang out at my house.. I immediately told the female that I was with that I didn't like this idea and we decided to leave there for forcing them to have to leave also, for some reason she and I both felt the need for protection before we told them this and so, she got a knife and I had a pair of scissors that I had been using while we were doing our planning.. They agreed to leave with no problem but she nor I either one had tried to hide our weapons which I found odd even in the dream, the one I felt so negatively about saw them and just smiled then left. She and I left also and when I returned home all of our (mine and my families) things had been removed from the house, clothes, dressers, TVs, stereo, toys etc... It was raining and all of it was thrown out into my front yard in the rain and was ruined.. I immediately called my mom who I am very close to and told her what had happened, I told her that the man I had the bad feeling about had done it and I was very upset, while I was on the phone with my mom a man showed up on what looked to be a bull dozer and began to run over all of our things, crushing them under the caterpillars of the dozer, I tried to yell at him to stop but he couldn't hear me and when he did finally stop he said he had been told to run it all under. I woke up right after this was said... I was not scared or upset by the dream as much as stumped..

I know this is a rather long post and I"m sorry for that but I didn't want to leave any detail out as it could be significant. Thanks for your time and help

Love and Light,
Nikki/wildangel716

[sparklekaz]

Hi Nikki,

Welcome to the Dream Board

You are in your home, in dream symbolism the home or house represents us. The rooms in the house are symbolic of the many facets of our personality of our psyche.

You are in the Dining Room, I would say that the Dining Room is something between the Kitchen and the Living Room. The Kitchen is where we sustain ourselves with emotional and mental nourishment, sharing with others. The living room is the face we represent the world with, how we wish to be seen, our image if you like. Combining these two rooms is interesting, to me it would say that you like to share the interests you have that fulfill you emotionallyand mentally, with the people youcare for and socialise with. You are happy to show this aspect of yourself, it is an important part of your own self image.

You have a female friend with you in your dream, for a women to dream of another women in a dream usually is linked to an aspect of themselves. This women may be a younger version of herself, (if the women in the dream is younger), and an older wiser version of herself ( if the women is older ), She can also be an ideal, a women who embodies characteristics that the dreamer admires. The other two men in the dream may embody male qualities that you admire as often men in a women's dream are symbolic of her ideal man.

Three more men enter the room, (are these in addition to the two men already there?) You feel extremely uneasy by their presence so much so that you feel the need to arm yourself with a weapon. A knife in dream symbology, can be symbolic of aggression and anger, or the need to remove something from ones' life that makes you feel like this. Knifes can also be used to cut through illusion and get rid of anything negative in your life that has outgrown its place. In fact is holding you back. The scissors are also of a similar symbology, cutting something out of your life. It can also be symbolic of you being decisive in taking action to remove anything or anyone that is unhelpful and detrimental to your well being.

It would seem from the dream atmosphere that there are men in your life, that you do not trust, in fact have had a very negative affect on you. I feel that you have the ability to remove yourself from their influence, or if they have had an influence on you, emotionally, you need to cut/sever any ties that you still have to them. This might indicate a distrust of men in general. I don't mean to say that you don't like men.. it is just a feeling that comes out of the page. In real life you may have a situation where you have to associate with people you do not like very much and I would say from the appearance of the knife and scissors, you need to detach yourself or distance yourself from these people, remove them so that you can move forward and mix with only people you trust and feel comfortable with.

By leaving the house, by distancing yourself from your feelings, you are removing yourself from the vicinity of the men. But, then you return to the house and find things have been moved around or removed. When we dream that things have been removed from our house, our psyche if you like. There can be a feeling of being violated, something very important has been taken from you, your peace of mind..something precious. This could be related directly to yourself, or it might be related to a relationship....

You called your Mother, because you felt the need for the security of having that familial presence with you. The mother, the nurturing caring aspect of yourself. You call on her as a child cries out for its mother, as having been exposed and feeling very vulnerable, needs to feel secure. It may also indicate that in real life you may literally need your Mum around you at this moment in time. Especially, if life has been difficult or if you are feeling very vulnerable.

The man driving the bulldozer, to me, just says, is there someone around you that tramples emotions. like a 'Bull in a china shop'.. someone who is not caring about what he says and how he says it. Again these are your belongings, your emotions that he is trampling, the feeling again of being badly treated by a man comes over....or you have a fear, apprehension of the male persona. Male attributes..aggression, dominance, bullying..

I maybe completely way off with this Nikki, this is only my interpretation of your dream, please only take from it that which resonates with you..in one sense I feel I might be wrong, because although in your dream you equip yourself with weapons to protect/fight, you do not describe how you feel except to say you are 'uneasy'. My instincts are telling me that you somehow can detach yourself from your fear and to some extent control your reaction to stress. Whether this is something that you are not aware of, or has happened over time, I don't know..

Again, please only take from this what feels right or makes sense to you and just ignore the rest..

Love and light
Kaz

[wildangel716]

Kaz,

What you are saying makes perfect sense to me.. As anyone who was in the Question Time session on Wednesday now knows, I was molested when I was a child and that was done by my father as well as every other type of abuse.. I have worked through alot of my anger and resentment over these things, but as with anyone who has ever gone through these things, it never completely leaves you.. My father is the one that I need to distance myself from, I have started to do this by moving back to Indiana which btw is where my Mom lives and she was the other reason for the move. My husband and I both wanted to be close to her and raise our children with her as a major influence in their lives.. As to my being able to distance myself from my emotions when they become too strong, this is very true and it is something that I sometimes do without thought when I feel hurt or betrayed, its a coping mechanism that I learned early in life and never lost.. I can also understand the other lady in my dream being a part of me or atleast someone that I would want to be like, as I said she was making a list which to me is organization and that is one thing that I cant seem to find time for with 5 kids lol..
I still speak to my father about once a month, in fact I spoke with him the day after I had this dream.. I have not cut ties completely with him only because there are issues of my mothers safety if I were to do that.. That being said though I can honestly say that my conversations with him are always short and very circumstantial, I in now way involve him in the personal goings on in my life any longer..

Your interpretation made perfect sense to me hun and I thank you for your help..

Love and Light,
Nikki

[sparklekaz]

Hi Nikki,

I do remember you saying a little in the chat room about your past experiences with abuse. But no details about it....your dream did reveal your fears and anxieties in relation to men. ..

Even if I had known nothing, I think your dream shows clearly that there are still issues connected to a male influence, that there are still links to it, that you need to cut, whether it be physically or mentally.

From what you have said, you still have to have some contact with a man who has in the past, badly abused your trust and violated you. So it is not surprising then, that this contact however small, will have an effect on you still, even if it only comes out in your unconscious mind when you are asleep. I think you are a very brave and strong person Nikki, to deal with it as well as you do.

You love your mother very much and it is a wonderful testament to the relationship you have with her, that you have actually moved your home to be close to her. I sense that she needs you, every bit as much, as you need her. The loved ones of those that have been abused must suffer terribly, many others in your position have completely distanced themselves from all their family, so in a sense, the loss is doubly traumatic.

I can see from your dream that even though you have decided to have minimum contact with your father, this troubles you greatly. I feel that your unconscious is trying to tell you that for you to have complete piece of mind you really need to sever those ties completely, but only you can decide whether or not you will do that. I feel that life circumstances in the future will show you whether or not you will need to do this.

You mention your mother's personal safety, can you be being held emotionally to hostage by using her as a way of manipulating you to do this against you will?? Does this mean your parents are still together, and if so, by seeing so much of your Mum will you be forced to see more of your father?? If not, and they are apart, then maybe there is a way, of stopping contact completely. I feel that you are still afraid, that your world can be violated and trampled upon again, by circumstances involving a man who has so badly taken your trust.

I would suggest that you keep a dream diary, so that you can reflect on what messages your unconscious mind is giving you. Also, we can receive assistance, support and guidance through our dream messages, and they can often give us prior warning as to things to watch out for. In saying that, dreams can mean many things on many levels, this dream, may only mean that your worst fears are being played out there, as you suppress them in normal waking hours. A way of desensitising your mind, to enable you to cope with your life better.

I appreciate your openness and honesty Nikki, thank you so much for your feedback..

Love and light
Kaz

[wildangel716]

Kaz,

Thank you again for your reply and thank you for the kind words. Now to answer a few of your questions;

My mother and father are no longer together, they have been divorced for 22 years now. My father lives in Georgia, as well as my brother and my sister, that is where I moved away from. That is what I meant by starting to distance myself from him. My mother however still goes to Georgia to see my brother (my sister refuses to have any kind of relationship with either mom or myself due to our father) and I truly do not believe that my brother would protect her from my father should he wish to do her harm, I can assure you that my cutting ties with him completely would cause him to what to hurt her to get to me as well as the fact that he would, as he always has, blame her for my actions.. When my parents divorced, my mother was forced to leave us with our father in order to protect us, herself and her family.. She knew this from past experiences and there for had no choice but to leave us with him until she could get the courts to give her custody.. This did not happen as my father was friends not only with the judge, but we later found out, with my mother's attorney as well.. My father was given custody of us and mom only got visitation which my father tried to insure we were all to scared to go to.. I was the first to disobey him and go with her, after about 4 visits like this my brother too decided to go and then the next time my sister also went. I have always gone my own way and done what I felt was right rather than what he said, normally with regards to my mother and there for it has always been a bone of contention with him. He has always blamed mom for the fact that he didnt have complete control over me as he did with my siblings.. I will tell you that my mom suffered for 17 years at this mans hands and she is still the most loving and caring person I know, if I have handled my own experiences with him even half as well I know that I have her to thank for it.. In a small way I guess I am still imprisoned by him out of fear for what he would do to mom if I did cut all ties with him but I will tell you that about 3 years ago I did the best thing I could have ever done for myself, I told my siblings as well as my step mother what he had done to me.. I no longer speak to either of my siblings because of this but I wouldnt change what I did for anything, I have children of my own as well as my nieces and nephews to protect, I put the truth out there, its up to them to accept it.. I myself though have never felt freer or lighter of heart than I have after releasing that horrible secret.. In time things with my siblings will change, I dont doubt that in the future we will again have loving relationships but they will have to deal with who and what he really is first, all that I can do for them now is pray for their strength and well being when the time comes to face the past.. I have never spoken about this so openly with anyone outside of my family nor in such a public forum but I believe it has been very theraputic for me and I thank you for your time and understanding.. God Bless You!!

Love and Light,
Nikki