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Post by sparklekaz on Jan 8, 2007 9:27:00 GMT
I am tumbling downwards, spinning round and around.
The walls on either side of me are like glass, I reach out to stop myself from falling, but to no avail. My fingers barely scratch the surface, let alone, get hold long enough to get a grip.
The world is grey, and the fear is there all the time. Sometimes, it bubbles gently below the surface, its acid eating away at my guts. Then slowly to start with, but becoming more it rears up like an angry flame. Burning me, eating away at me.
Lethargy, overwhelming, longing to stay in the soft womb like surroundings of my bed. Forcing myself up and out, dragging my body through the day.
I look for the light its always there, but its no where. My mind screams out for help. I have tried, asking for it, but no one hears. They don't want to hear. You are their rock, rocks don't crumble do they. I wish I was invisable.
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Post by zanna on Jan 8, 2007 11:25:35 GMT
Ah kaz.... here have this from me babes. (A angel card for you)
"You've been giving to much lately Kaz, you must give to your self. This is why your feeling the way you do. When you give you must also recieve as this gives balance to your energy. You dont have to go mad, but just a little something, and when people offer to help, take it sweeheart. How ever small the help is. This is how the Angels will help you, you can't hear them because you areso tired, where you have been give, give, give... This is not good and it has drained you. Now start to take a little darling, you deserve heavens help. God Bless you,xxxx
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Post by Leon on Jan 8, 2007 12:54:32 GMT
Karen at the moment I am fighting through adversity, you know about this. I know god will bless me soon. See me as an example of what prayer and an honest heart can do. I feel in days my prayers will be answered and hopefully that will be a lesson to us all who stand against adversity, that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Light shining on us even against all the odds, against people that disbelieve in ones intuition. I will use myself as proof that god listens to our prayers. God bless everyone www.thegodlight.co.uk |
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Post by zanna on Jan 8, 2007 15:07:40 GMT
Yes Kaz, Leon is right. God, The Masters, The Angels etc all know our pain & they are always there for us. But it's very hard for them to connect with us because we unwillingly place a brick wall up and they cannot reach us. But they will Kaz, trust us. God will because Love conkers everything, it dissolves all darkness.
God Bless Hun,xxx
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Post by sparklekaz on Jan 8, 2007 16:09:14 GMT
Dear Zanna & Leon, knowing you both care brings a light into my dark place. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.xxx
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angelight
Follow That Rainbow and Reach for the Stars!!
Posts: 301
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Post by angelight on Jan 8, 2007 19:51:44 GMT
Hi Kaz,
I read what you wrote and it took me back to how i used to feel. It lasted in varying degrees for about six years for me. It was a difficult period of my life, but when i started working with the light and getting regular healing, I slowly but surely worked through it.
I suppose what i am saying is remember, as has been said, God, Angels and the light are all there for you - even if you dont feel it at the moment. Sometimes we feel so alone, but it is an illusion sweetheart, we are never alone.
Keep sending out your prayer thoughts asking for help, love and support from the godlight, and let them help you through this tough time. Hopefully we can all help you too, even if by just havin a good old chin wag!!
Take care hun, much love and light, Kelly xxx
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Post by sparklekaz on Jan 8, 2007 20:30:46 GMT
I loved receiving healing, and I loved to give it....but the way I feel at the moment. I just don't want it..and that is not me...I have always, been able to see the positive, even when things have been at there darkest. But at this moment in time I just can't. I have lost my confidence in myself as a women, I feel fat and unattractive. I feel so insecure in my relationship. I don't even want to confide in my sisters. I feel anxious and suspicious and constantly have these negative thoughts. I feel as if I am losing my marbles. It scares me stiff. I have tried to explain how I am feeling to my partner, but he doesn't talk about it. He thinks I am just a bit low. We have been together for 14 yrs and in all that time, I have been very strong. Too strong, maybe. Maybe if he saw how weak I really am, he wouldn't want me. His first wife was very unwell with depression. If I was to succumb, he would not want to be with me. He wouldn't be able to help himself, he had such a terrible time before. My work, I just put on this face, MASK, and it works really well. Tears of a clown. Remember that song. Its probably just my hormones. Who knows!!
Thanks guys, u are stars, and very loving. You words have been big help today.
Lots of love
Karen
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Post by Leon on Jan 8, 2007 20:34:02 GMT
We all love you Karen, we are here for you to work through this. Just remember nothing in this world stays the same for long and the tide will turn on your problems and your out look. God bless you lovely karen.
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Post by sunflowerusa on Jan 9, 2007 0:15:29 GMT
Kaz I know that when your feeling this bad its hard to let others in and I have been there. You are such a wonderful friend and I want to be that for you. Hard to know what to say to makes things better but, when im real low I try to make myself do kind things for myself. Wether its taking a warm bathcuddling up on the couch with a good book, light good smelling candles and remember a dream that you want in your life. You will get through this! You are love and nothing else! I am always around to talk, I gave you my email. I am reading a very good book called conversations with god maybe this would be a good one for you as well, its is helping a great deal. I am sending you loving thoughts and a joyful heart! Love to you!! jess
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Post by Leon on Jan 9, 2007 0:21:25 GMT
True karen conversations with god is a great book, you should get it, it will uplift your soul.
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Post by zanna on Jan 9, 2007 8:30:21 GMT
Ah our dearest Kaz, I could cry for you (Oh im such a wimp!) we all love you my angel, but i feel like that alot. Totally alone with only the dog to talk to! But we are not alone sweepea. Rest for now, and know that the sun will shine again. maybe we're beibg tested? our faith is being tested? who know's. (But I wish they wouldn't). Remember God just wants us to be happy, it what we all deserve,
You know we are here for you sweetie. God Bless,xxx
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Post by Gina on Jan 9, 2007 13:22:33 GMT
Kaz,
Take some time out for you Kaz, Treat yourself. I can only empathise with how you are feeling & I feelt really sad when i read your post. You have brought us all a lot of light & love & you deserve some back. We will get our "SPARKLE kaz" back, the sparkle hasn't gone. My thoughts & prayers are with you, along with all our other friends thoughts & prayers. I will try & make it into the room Wednesday early evening to chat if you are on.
Love & light
Gina
xx
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Post by Gina on Jan 9, 2007 13:42:23 GMT
The black cloud will disappear,
The morning sun will appear once again
In all its supernal glory.
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Post by zanna on Jan 9, 2007 13:56:53 GMT
SparkleKaz.
Your Angels are with you, holding you in their everloving wings of divine healing & love for today & always,xxx
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angelight
Follow That Rainbow and Reach for the Stars!!
Posts: 301
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Post by angelight on Jan 9, 2007 23:58:53 GMT
I am sending you loving thought babe xxx
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