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Post by deejossi on Mar 27, 2007 21:43:45 GMT
 Hi Lizzie.. I been reading your dream interpretations with a lot of interest because I very rarely remember my dreams and often wonder why that may be. But..Twice now..I have dreamt that I watched my partner take his own life. We know bits and pieces about his actual death from the findings at the inquest and I am wondering if it is my brains way of piecing it all together. The two dreams were identical (I think) apart from one thing.. I will try to explain..and see what you make of it. I am following him up to his front door which he is struggling to get thru because he has a carrier bag with his takeaway dinner in it..and eventually he loses his temper and kicks the door to get in to his flat. In the dream I am invisible to him..I am chatting away but he does not know I am there. We go into his living room, where he sits down and starts to eat his dinner. He has a Chinese...and he is eating rice and making a mess down his t-shirt. All the while he is talking to himself...angry about something but I cannot hear what. Suddenly..he throws the dinner all over his sofa and goes onto his balcony and unties the washing line. He then takes that into my daughter's bedroom and ties it to the hook where his punch bag usually is. I am shouting at him now, asking.. "What are you going to do?" But he does not acknowledge me at all..and he stands on the bed and jumps off with the line round his neck. I then try to get him down..but he is already cold and stiff like it happened ages ago..I am then crying and screaming and punching him to try to wake him. The second dream was exactly the same, but he did not go to get the washing line..instead he just hooked the chain from the punch bag round his neck..but this time he jumped off a motorbike that was in my daughter's bedroom?  ? As the only bike we have ever owned was a mini moto..I am a little baffled by that one..but I would be interested to hear your thoughts. Incidently..our ceilings were too low for him to 'jump' from anywhere, but in the dream they are higher and his feet did not touch the floor like they did in reality. Sorry if its a bit graphic..but thats how I saw it and its difficult to talk to my friends about this. Dawn xx
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Post by Leon on Mar 28, 2007 5:41:12 GMT
Hi Dawn, while reading this all I could think was this was depicting the truth of your partners fight against his own anger, it seems he was quick tempered and a perfectionist, if he made a mistake he would get angry with himself first, then who ever was around him. It feels like the act of taking his life was unthought out and just another act of rash anger. he seemed to want people to hear him crying out for help, but the sad part is he did not know how to communicate his own feelings propely, thus acting rashly. I feel this dream would sum his life up and was maybe shown so you can look at him for what he was and nothing more. A man seeking help but with no idea how to go about it. God bless you Dawn I hope life starts to improve for you soon.
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Post by deejossi on Mar 28, 2007 21:44:45 GMT
Thankyou Leon..and WOW! You certainly sound as if you knew him personally.
God Rest Him, he always set goals that were almost impossible to achieve, and this was always the cause of most of his frustration.
I like the idea that it is simply for me to see it for it was..as my guilt has been creeping up on me lately, even though my logical mind knows I did all I could to help him..including cutting him out of my life. If I start to forgive myself through what we can interpret, then it is all positive.
God Bless You Leon and Thankyou xxx
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Post by khalif on Mar 29, 2007 14:47:05 GMT
Hi Dawn,
Since I read your post yesterday its really been on my mind because I seem to be getting visions and they keep telling me that that your husband did in fact pass on in depression. I'm getting a feeling of sadness around me and it feels like your husband was unhappy because he felt he hadn't accomplished what he wanted in his life. Is that true? Men have this ego that says we have to be doing something all the time. Even myself, I'm a teacher, and I can't spend my holidays doing nothing so I end up taking my work home nearly everyday. It feels frustrating that when we haven't achieved everything we want in life and we find it difficult to mention that to anyone. I’m feeling that he lost his job or was made redundant and that was partly the problem too. Is this true?
The weird thing is that I'm being told that he loved bikes. Is this also true?
When he had a bike it was like a labour of love looking after it and if he didn't have one towards the later years of his life then it didn't matter because he would talk to friends about them. I’m being told he was pretty knowledgeable about them. Why do I see him on his bike going to some summer event …like a festival? and does he have a picture of himself standing in front of a bike?
Alternatively he might be trying to show me that after passing on he has in fact got a bike now and he’s happy.
I also see a red rose as a sign that he wants to say he loves you.
If any of this makes sense please get back to me
Peace and blessings
Khalil
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Post by deejossi on Mar 29, 2007 21:40:38 GMT
;D Thanks Khalif... Yes your first paragraph is very true..he was depressed even as a child, but later in life this was made worse by the fact that he was alcoholic. The illness eventually led to him losing his family, business, home, savings, pride, self worth..need i go on? I have no idea about the motorbike though..No we have no photo of him with one..he never owned a proper one. It was occasionally talked about, as during his sober periods, he was a bit of thrillseeker, but i always talked him out of it as i thought he would front end it and kill himself! It was not unusual though for him to want to buy all sorts..we had boats, water skiis, quads and the mini moto...!!!  The red rose thing is nice...I bought a red rose on Saturday morning, and scattered the petals on his casket when we laid him to rest that day, so its nice he wants to give one back. ;D Thankyou Kalif God Bless |
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Post by deejossi on Mar 29, 2007 21:41:26 GMT
;D Thanks Khalif... Yes your first paragraph is very true..he was depressed even as a child, but later in life this was made worse by the fact that he was alcoholic. The illness eventually led to him losing his family, business, home, savings, pride, self worth..need i go on? I have no idea about the motorbike though..No we have no photo of him with one..he never owned a proper one. It was occasionally talked about, as during his sober periods, he was a bit of thrillseeker, but i always talked him out of it as i thought he would front end it and kill himself! It was not unusual though for him to want to buy all sorts..we had boats, water skiis, quads and the mini moto...!!! The red rose thing is nice...I bought a red rose on Saturday morning, and scattered the petals on his casket when we laid him to rest that day, so its nice he wants to give one back. ;D Thankyou Kalif God Bless |
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Hi Lizzie..
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