Post by sparklekaz on Nov 22, 2014 14:28:06 GMT
Dear friends,
Do you ever feel that happiness is something other people experience. That for you happiness and contentment is elusive. Are you a worrier, a pessimist. Who never sees the glass as half full but always as half empty? If the answer is yes, then you are not alone. But does it have to be this way? Speaking as someone who does try to maintain a positive outlook on life, but does occasionally fall foul of negative thinking and feeling down. I believe it can be done. But not without making some changes in the way we think. Abraham Lincoln said "Most people are about as happy as they choose to be" So if positive thinking is a choice, it makes sense to accept that negative thinking is a choice too!
Whenever we are unhappy or anxious. It is because we have a story running through our heads. That story is one 'we' have created. It may have it's roots based in a real life experience or genuine fear. But just as in life stories can be exaggerated and made larger than life; how much bigger and fiercer can the stories be that we write for ourselves. The more we frighten ourselves, the more nightmarish our inner story becomes. Now stop and think about this for a moment. If we can write our own horror stories. Why can't we write our own success story. One in which we are larger then life, but in a great way. Where we have the power to change our circumstances in a good way. We have all these great qualities and abilities that are just bursting to come out. In our minds we can take risks, grasp opportunities. We can write our own love stories where we find our true love, or walk into the sunset happy and contented with ourselves and with life, be that with someone or without. It doesn't matter as long as 'we' are content. Yes we can write our own 'happy endings'.
I believe that negative thinking is a habit. One that may have started when we were very young. When we realized that the people around us who we thought we could trust and rely on to take care of us, did not. When we experienced more then our fair share of negative experiences. Our minds and bodies learning how to fear, at a time in our lives when we should have felt safe. And so a pattern was born that would influence us long into adult-hood, when we are more in control of our lives and shouldn't need to feel so vulnerable; That fear reaction is still there.
So how can we break the cycle of negative thinking? The only way of doing this is to replace one bad habit for a good habit. For me personally the biggest 'light bulb' moment was when I finally realized the power of my own mind. When I acknowledged and understood that my biggest problem was not what was going on 'outside' of me, but 'inside'. That no matter how difficult my circumstances were, or how scary some problems could be. Ultimately I was in control. Because it was my reaction to what was happening that dictated how I felt. Just as no one else could make me feel bad about myself unless I allowed it. As Eleanor Rosevelt said "No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent".
When you find your thoughts becoming negative. Or you start to imagine the worst outcomes to whatever situation you find yourself in. Stop your thoughts dead. Right There! Make the connection about what you are doing. Understand that you are using your mind energy to take a mole hill, and turn it into a mountain. You are scaring yourself. Rein in those thoughts, and take control. Self talk can be helpful in these instances. But in a positive way. Tell yourself you are allowing your thoughts to become way out of proportion, to the reality of the situation. Wake up to the power you have over your own life. Alice Walker (who wrote the brilliant book 'The colour purple') said, "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.” Don't give up your power!! You get to choose! I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Love and light
Kaz
Do you ever feel that happiness is something other people experience. That for you happiness and contentment is elusive. Are you a worrier, a pessimist. Who never sees the glass as half full but always as half empty? If the answer is yes, then you are not alone. But does it have to be this way? Speaking as someone who does try to maintain a positive outlook on life, but does occasionally fall foul of negative thinking and feeling down. I believe it can be done. But not without making some changes in the way we think. Abraham Lincoln said "Most people are about as happy as they choose to be" So if positive thinking is a choice, it makes sense to accept that negative thinking is a choice too!
Whenever we are unhappy or anxious. It is because we have a story running through our heads. That story is one 'we' have created. It may have it's roots based in a real life experience or genuine fear. But just as in life stories can be exaggerated and made larger than life; how much bigger and fiercer can the stories be that we write for ourselves. The more we frighten ourselves, the more nightmarish our inner story becomes. Now stop and think about this for a moment. If we can write our own horror stories. Why can't we write our own success story. One in which we are larger then life, but in a great way. Where we have the power to change our circumstances in a good way. We have all these great qualities and abilities that are just bursting to come out. In our minds we can take risks, grasp opportunities. We can write our own love stories where we find our true love, or walk into the sunset happy and contented with ourselves and with life, be that with someone or without. It doesn't matter as long as 'we' are content. Yes we can write our own 'happy endings'.
I believe that negative thinking is a habit. One that may have started when we were very young. When we realized that the people around us who we thought we could trust and rely on to take care of us, did not. When we experienced more then our fair share of negative experiences. Our minds and bodies learning how to fear, at a time in our lives when we should have felt safe. And so a pattern was born that would influence us long into adult-hood, when we are more in control of our lives and shouldn't need to feel so vulnerable; That fear reaction is still there.
So how can we break the cycle of negative thinking? The only way of doing this is to replace one bad habit for a good habit. For me personally the biggest 'light bulb' moment was when I finally realized the power of my own mind. When I acknowledged and understood that my biggest problem was not what was going on 'outside' of me, but 'inside'. That no matter how difficult my circumstances were, or how scary some problems could be. Ultimately I was in control. Because it was my reaction to what was happening that dictated how I felt. Just as no one else could make me feel bad about myself unless I allowed it. As Eleanor Rosevelt said "No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent".
When you find your thoughts becoming negative. Or you start to imagine the worst outcomes to whatever situation you find yourself in. Stop your thoughts dead. Right There! Make the connection about what you are doing. Understand that you are using your mind energy to take a mole hill, and turn it into a mountain. You are scaring yourself. Rein in those thoughts, and take control. Self talk can be helpful in these instances. But in a positive way. Tell yourself you are allowing your thoughts to become way out of proportion, to the reality of the situation. Wake up to the power you have over your own life. Alice Walker (who wrote the brilliant book 'The colour purple') said, "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.” Don't give up your power!! You get to choose! I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Love and light
Kaz
I don't have a Thing to add.
