I am in need of some spiritual help and guidance

[Deleted]

Hello all,
I am new to this forum, I am looking for help and found myself drawn to this page. I hope and pray that I can get some answers and help with my current situation. So here I go:

I've been married for 17 years, have been with my husband for almost 20 yrs since I was 17. I know he is my soul mate, actually he is my twin flame. This last year starting in July 2012, things became rocky, my husband began accusing me of cheating. He by the way is psychic, empath, has all 4 clairs, however he was wrong. I've always been faithful to my husband. Anyhow, he started attending meetup groups to enhance his abilities and to meet like minded people &people with similar gifts. In being in these groups he did grow, he pulled away from me & our family. He began talking to another woman & discovered they had a past life together and a deep spiritual connection. He left me & our 4 children to be with her, only to realize he was in love with me and could never stop thinking about me. He was gone for about 3 months and was miserable.

I've always loved him, am devoted to my husband and did sime major soul searching and transformation while he was gone, the entire time feeling that we are truly meant to be together. I have angels come to me daily. I speak to God, I have a deep connection with God & angels. God has spoke to me numerous times & told me we are meant to be and my husband would be back and our marriage would be stronger than ever before. I also forgot to mention when my husband was cheating on me, he kept saying he was on "the right path" and he knows that what he was doing was right & that God told him to leave me & be with this other woman. I don't believe that at all. I don't believe God would tell a husband/father to leave his family, devestate them and be with anotjer woman. I don't believe God breaks up families lkke that. Yes, I grew more spiritually during this trial in my life, I lost a lot of weight but it was a t an extreme cost. My 2 oldest children do not trust their father anymore, his relationship with them is not good. He treated us all badly during the lying & trying to cover up his affair with this woman.

My children are also gifted. My oldest son knew what was going on before I did. Long story short, my husband did realise he loves me & wants to be with me, so in January he left the other woman, he is renting a room as we are working things out. He believes we should divorce and work things out slowly and remarry if we choose too. I don't agree. Here's my situation/problem, I hope I'm not confusing anyone, he has his own meetup group and this other woman is a part of it, he deleted her out of the group and some how 3 months later she was back in it, never attended the groups but she was there. When it came time to renew his group membership my husband did not have the funds to do it, so instead of letting the group delete, meetup asks other members if they want to pay the fee to save the group & of course she did. That made her a co-organizer, she still stayed away from the groups for awhile, now she attends the groups every week, people in the group precive her and my husband as a couple. People are having dreams about them, saying God said they should be together, that they are meant to have a child together. I don't understand this. God and the angels tell me we are meant to be, God brought us together.

How can this be? So of course my husband is confused, he doesn't know what to do & is affraid of making the wrong decision. Nothing worked between him & the other woman, she is a manipulator & liar. After they split she went around to the different groups that they were in and told a bunch of lies about my husband making him look like a horrible man. He tells me he loves me, that I am an amazing woman & any man in his right mind would be lucky to have me. He has been taking some time and soul searching, connecting back with God, but is still confused. I am physically , mentally & spiritually drained. I love this man beyond anything. I've thought about walking away, but to me that would be the easy way out and when you love some one, I mean truly love them you don't give up. I take my vows before God and to my husband seriously, I meant every word I spoke to him when we got married. This man is my other half, my soul connection, my gift for God. I hope I explained my situation good and that there is someone that can help me understand and could please give me advice. I greatly appreciate any and all help. Thank you and God bless.

[cyberangel]

Hello and Welcome Jazelle,

Thank you for your heartfelt post. It is a very hard and difficult not to mention confusing situation to be in. I will give you my perspective if I may and I hope it may help you and not hinder your situation further, anyway here goes....

First of all

God wants us all to be happy, but never, EVER at the expense of another. So for your husband to “hear” that ‘God’ wants him to be with this other woman is a total ego based desire, and not the will of God. It sounds to me that your husband has lost sight and perspective of his gift or even worse is using his gift as a way out ticket.

Your children are naturally going to be wary of him, because of what he has done to you and your family. Children are sensitive to these sorts of things and will probably pick up on the energy before they actually knew what was happening. They will also pick up on your fears and worries, no matter how careful you are to hide them.

My heart goes out to you as I can see in your post that you are fearful of losing this man, the love of your life, twin flame. Realistically, even the strongest of relationships can break down, by lack of communication, desire, attraction, interests, etc. It is important to be true to yourself at this time, if you change to suit his moods, opinions or ideas, then you are cheating on yourself, by not being yourself.

We all change as we grow and develop over the years and throughout our entire lives, that is the joy of living this life. Those we meet and think we will be forever with are not always the path we chose before we signed up to this life. From what I can read in between the lines, and basing my thoughts from your perspective only, I feel your husband is using his ‘GIFT/S’ as a way out of your relationship, and is using the name of ‘GOD’ to enforce HIS (your husband’s) desires/wants.
He sounds like he was flattered by this other woman, but I feel, based on what you have said, he is keeping you on the back boiler, as a backup if it all fails. Again only going by what you have said, it feels like they never truly broke up, that he is keeping you sweet in order to get the divorce. Please don’t take what I’m saying for granted or indeed fact, as it is just my opinion on what you have wrote.

I think you need to find yourself again, can you remember who you were before you met your husband? Or had your children? The real you is still inside you, but sometimes like us all we get bogged down with the ‘titles’ others project on us, like wife and mother, but you are more than this. You are a beautiful soul within a body. And you sound out of alignment, and no wonder with all you have gone through.

Having said all that, I truly cannot help you ‘decide’ on what you must do to be happy, only you can do that. You say you have a connection with the Angels, well I would encourage you to ask them to help you find your true self again. Maybe when you have done this, you will be able to find the inner courage and strength to see the situation and deal with it, without the fear or worry.

I admire you for fighting for your relationship and I would agree if you feel it’s worth fighting for then fight for it, but this is a battle that you can’t fight alone. I think you really need to tell your husband straight out how he has made you feel, what your fears are and what you would like to happen in the future.

I wish you the very best in the future and I hope it all works out for you all. With God and the Angels help it will. Remember, don’t lose yourself in the process. Again, I am no relationship expert by any means, but I am basing my observations only on what I have understood reading your post. I hope it has helped if only to give you a different viewpoint.

I hope you will keep in touch with us and let us know how you are getting on. Also feel free to pop into our chat room. I will keep you in my prayers, and am wishing you loads of (divine) love and (healing) light .

God Bless you always
(((((HUGS)))))
Love and Light

[sparklekaz]

Hi Jazelle,

It must have taken a lot of courage for you to come and share your story here like this. I agree with a lot of what Angel has said. I would just like to add a couple of observations of my own if I may.

You say at the beginning of your story, that out of the blue your husband started accusing you of being unfaithful to 'him'. Was this after he had joined this group? If it was around the time he met this women that he ended up having a relationship with. It sounds to me as if he was 'projecting' onto you. In other words, because he was becoming attracted to someone else, in his own mind he was transfering his feelings of guilt onto 'imagining' you were being unfaithful. It may have been a way for him to justify his own feelings of attraction and temptation to be unfaithful. It is often the case that an unfaithful partner will imagine that if he can be drawn to others then his partner would be too. It's called judging people by your own standards.

Another point I'd like to mention, is that it is not uncommon for people who are exploring and sharing their psychic gifts with others, to form attachments and to develop intense attractions. As Angel has pointed out, amongst these groups of people there can be a lot of 'ego stroking' going on and it does take a very strong character with a grounded and humble energy to resist and not succumb to this kind of flattery. I say psychic rather then spiritual. Because as Angel has pointed out, those who are developing spiritually, know more then anyone the kind of spiritual and karmic repercussions of hurting those they love and are responsible for, based on what is really an artificially induced physical attraction. It is not based on friendship, shared life experiences formed over time. These are people who are in truth emotionally immature and projecting like crazy what they want to see on to each other. In this kind of 'hot house' environment, it would appear to be a group of people 'getting off' on what is meant to be a learning, growing experience of spiritual development. Spiritually emotional mature people understand that we can love each other, in a pure unconditional way. We love the connection between us, we love that connection of spirit. It doesn't mean we want to run off with each other. This is one of the dangers I feel of people mistaking physical attraction induced by the excitement of psychic development for true lasting love.

I actually feel that your husband does know that you are the one for him, but has become so addicted to the admiration of his group that he finds it extremely difficult to pull away from it. I did think when you told us that after three months he had realised his mistake and had come to his senses, that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, he is still very much attached, that is why he went back to it and just cannot bring himself to stay away. It may not be this women neccessarily that binds him to it, but what she represents. It is a very difficult situation for you to, for want of a better word, to fight Jazelle. My advice to you would be to distance yourself from your husband if you can, and give him the space to sort himself out. You must be very clear though, that if he wants to come to you and be your husband again in every sense of the word. He must sever all ties with this group not just the women. How long you give him to do this is up to you. But I think you will know, when enough is enough and you will make the decision yourself to move on and start afresh. Do not allow yourself to be pressurised by him to do anything you are not comfortable with.

If it helps you, try to think of it like this. The man you married, would not have treated you like this. He has changed. While it is normal for people to change as they grow older and experience life, some changes are not acceptable. I do believe we have more then one soul mate in this life. I believe that anyone who helps us to grow as people, emotionally and spiritually, can be a soul mate. Not all the lessons we learn through these relationships are easy ones. Indeed, some can be incredibly, painfully difficult. Not all the relationships we have with these soul mates are meant to last a life time. As Angel says, think now of yourself. Of your children. What they need is stability and to feel secure. Their father, coming and going must be upsetting for them. Seeing you so distressed by his treatment of you, will not be good for them either. As for your husband, he has a very challenging time ahead of him. How he deals with this, will either make him or break him. But this is his lesson not yours. Take a step back, and have faith. Trust that things will in time make sense and you will be alright.

As Angel has said, please let us know how you get on, and know that we are here to listen and help if we can.

Love and light
Kaz

[Leon]

Hi Jazelle Thank you for sharing this heartfelt message. Maybe my words will resonate with you, as I have run similar groups in the past in person and online. I have also attended such groups sessions many a time, while not being the one in charge. Firstly from reading your words, the person who is closest to God is you. It seems you are a natural, and do not need to be taught how to be. From my experiences not everyone who attends such groups is spiritual, usually they are lost souls who try to seek some meaning in their life. Lots do not move forwards spiritually, they still carry the same self destructive patterns that they had before attending such groups.

If the group is built on psychic abilities, instead of spirituality, the ego takes precedence. It seems your husband comes alive while around such people. Usually these groups have a lot more women than men, which makes it an ideal ground for relationships to be formed. Any man who is supposedly gifted is looked upon as special by the women who attend the group, especially by those who have less skills psychically. First and foremost you must remember that he is a man like any other. Being psychic does not make you a demi God. It seems the men get more attention, than women who are psychic. It turns into a seductive power. I have rarely seen men flocking around a psychic woman who is powerful. It is more the other way around.

The choice is yours alone to make, but please take him off the pedestal you have put him on. He has cheated and lied to you, he has shifted the blame for his own mistakes onto you. That is not spiritual at all. He had his cake and ate it. He did not care for you while he was on his ego trip. He only cared for his own self importance. Remember this is not about him but you, it is how you deal with it all that matters. You and others have given him too much power, too much importance. The guy needs to eat a little humble pie, he needs to get off his high horse. If he wants you, he needs to give up the group, he needs to please you first and foremost, instead of himself. You must make him work for it. He is a weak man, you are the strong one, you have the forgiving heart. This is a spiritual lesson for him, make him understand. The games have to stop and the heart needs listening to instead.

[Deleted]

I would like to thank both of you Angel & Kaz for your insight and help. I tried to keep my situation to the point, which was difficult because of so much that has happened between my husband & myself. The accusing me of cheating wasn't new, he has done that off and on during our relationship. I've never been unfaithful. I made him feel insecure in our relationship, I was a liar on stupid immature things. I know our relationship in rhe beginning was unhealthy, we were young teenagers. As we grew older and our family grew my husband was always my rock, he is an amazing man. I do believe he got caught up in ego with his group and did become lost. As far as now, he is coming back to the man I married and fell in love with. He does help many people in his group. I do believe this woman is only going to these groups to confuse him. I do not think her intentions are spirit based. As for myself, I do take care of me, for the first time in years. I am emerging and learning that I have spiritual gifts. I have found that I have so much strength and patience in what I have been through. I have stepped back, to let him sort out what he needs to do. I trust and believe God is present and guiding me. God and the angels have shown me that my uncondional love is what will get us all through this. My husband doesn't just come and go, he is here and very much apart of our children's lives. He stays with us more than he is at his rented room. I do not believe he wants this other woman, I think it is a huge manipulation. Its hard to explain everything so there is complete understanding. I've done angel card readings that always lead me back to my husband. I've also began channeling & free writing messages from the angels. I shield and protect myself. I get constant confirmation on what I see & hear is truth. Along with that as a human with feelings it is hard to go through this. I do my best to take my own ego out of this and asked what is right for him. If he is meant to be with her, as hard as it would be I would step away. I love him that much. With that being said everything I receive is the complete opposite. Angels telling me God is in control and working it out. To allow heaven to work and to be patient as what I've been praying and asking for is coming to fruition. I actually asked for asign from my angels so I know I'm not crazy or hearing things or making things up, this is all new to me & i want to be sure what messages i receive are from God & the angels. This morning when woke up there was a white feather beside me on my bed. For me that was the angels giving me my sign. It came very quickly. This situation is hard & for what ever reason, I'm not sure why just yet, I choose this path. I'm still learning about karma, past lives. I'm studying angel therapy and learning how to do readings as I grow in my own abilities. I know my husband and I have had many past lives together. At least 4-5. I believe we have many things to do together in helping people along their paths too. I alao believe my story is meant to inspire others as well. I've already seen it helping my mother in law and my father in law. So even though I'm going through it I see the positive that is rippling from it. I hope I was able to convey more to you. I'm just having a difficult time understanding how other people are having dreams or visions about my husband being with this other woman and saying God told them or gave them these dreams. It makes no sense to me. There is where my problem is. Any insight or suggestions on that? Thanks again on the speedy reply. You gals are awesome.
God bless,
Love & light to you
Jazelle

[Deleted]

Thank you Leon for your insight, kind words & advice. I truly appreciate you taking the time to help me. I understand what you are saying about the groups. I can't say 100% what happened in these groups as I never went to one. He was not the leader or teacher in the groups. He was going to learn and develop his gifts. I do know there was a large mix of both men & women. I do believe ego did come into place during this. He is powerful in his gifts always has been. He did have many people telling him he was sooo powerful and so great and gifted. He also had a bad accident that I forgot to mention and changed after the accident. So I know he was extremely ego driven at the time and was to lost to even see past his own nose. It didn't help at the time he felt unappreciated by me. I myself was going through a depression. Just a whole lot of factors went into this situation. I am able now to step back and see my on role that lead up to this and I take full responsibility for my part. It does not excuse his actions. I am not trying to place him on a pedestal. I forgave him. I am not one to hold grudges and to continue punishing anyone for past mistakes. Once I forgive I move forward. I by no means am perfect and would only hope that if I was to make a mistake however how big or small that I would receive forgiveness when I asked for it. I don't think he is playing games. I believe he is going to walk away from these groups, I already see him moving away from several of them. His own personal group, he is still doing but has said he feels like he should move away from it as well. I am not one to tell anyone what to do or to give ultimatiums. I humble myself before God and believe His word. I trust and have faith. Where I have a problem as I said earlier is with the Divine messages I am receiving, which I believe with all my heart to be true and these messages that other people that he has just met in his group are having about him and this other woman. They are telling him God told them they should be together. A woman not in his group but that became a friend from another group, which has been doing this for a long time and is in her 60s emailed him last week and tokd him she had a dream about him and that God told her that he and the other woman are meant to be and are meant to have a child together. This other woman actually can't have anymore children. She told him It would be an immaculent conception like Christ. I don't understand any of this. Why are these people having these dreams and visions about him and this other woman? Things were actually going really good up until this, he was talking about letting his group go, we were talking about moving, now he's confused. He doesn't talk about his personal life with anyone in the group or with other people. He is and always has been private. He doesn't understand why these people are having these dreams and questions why they don't see me? So any insight to this would be great. I hope I was able to explain myself. Thanks again for your help, it is greatly appreciated.
God bless you,
Light and love,
Jazelle

[Dancing Eagle (Ian Peric)]

Thanks for sharing Jazelle,

I have also been to many of these groups and Men are rarer in these groups for many reasons. They are also rarer in yoga class.
I believe that at our core, we are all equally intuitive. I have seen countless "non" intuitive people become powerful psychics very quickly.
One thing I can say about intuition is that it can work in unpredictable ways but always for the greater good.

It can be valuable to look at what is a mental story and what you are feeling in your body in this moment.
I feel we are all doing the best we know with what we have in the moment. Many people don't have a self enquiry practice or forget to realise when they are reacting out of fear and story rather than open-hearted love.
Have you tried meditating with what you are feeling in your body?
If something is feeling uncomfortable can you sit with and explore it for a bit? Feel its movement, sensations, associated feelings, source?
It's also interesting to explore how important, scary, action inspiring it is?

When I go through this process myself, I get deeply honest with myself. It feels best in my body to focus on being for something and against nothing.
I totally accept and learn from the perfection of each moment leading to now. From here I have a choice to move forward with what makes my heart sing.

Be gentle on yourself, you are as Divine as anyone/thing else.

[Ishtahota]

Jazelle622
The Spirits do not think the way that we do. They do not concern themselves with life and death, because they know that we are all eternal. We have probably been friends, lovers, relatives and such with all that we know in our lives today. All of us playing parts for our personal growth, over and over again. As a person who lives with a spirit mind I can tell you that once a relationship starts it never ends. So you can never loose anyone that you really love, ever. Real growth for most of us comes from drama and conflict. We tend to get comfortable and complacent, so spirit throughs us a monkey wrench to kick our ass and get us moving again.
We in truth have no soul mates. No one or no thing out side of yourself can ever make you whole on the inside. What is asleep in you is awake in him, and what is awake in you is asleep in him. We come together to help each other reawaken and reclaim authentic self.
Follow your heart and not your fears and you will be fine. Spirit most likely did tell him to stray away, they do not think the way we do.

[Ishtahota]

One more thing that needs to be said. This is a world of free will and choice, spirit will not make choices for us, it is against the rules. You can sit at cross roads till you die if you wish. And spirits do not see us making wrong or right choices, they simple set up our lessons according to the choices that we make.
Now that being said, you can learn to make decisions based upon your own inner guidance. When I an at cross roads in my life I sit and meditate about it all. I sit and pretend that I made choice number one. I feel the choice, I taste it, I smell it and I see my interactions with the people of that choice. The important part is where does that stir me. Am I stirred in the gut or am I stirred around the heart. Then I come back to center I sit and I feel as if I took choice number two. Where am I stirred? Am I stirred in my gut which follows my ego most of the time or am I stirred in my heart which follows spirit most of the time. We have a connection deep inside of us that we are allowed to use, we just have to develop it.

[samy03]

Who AM I??? This is the question that actually distinct the understanding and knowing of the reality that is never be same for all of us. For someone, its like "I AM THIS BODY", For the another individual, its like : "I am a Spirit and not just a physical flesh".....For a Saint, Its like "I AM A PURE SOUL".

The common phrase that lies in all the sentences is "I". And this "I", represents the EGO. Which shows the mindset of the individual and the purity of seeing himself/herself in a positive/negative manner, according to the individuals own level of thoughts and looking into the so called life, that it is dealing with.

Reading the Holy scriptures 1000 times from the mouth, doesn't place the individual to a certain level. Its all the thinking pattern that let him feel separate from others..... And that feeling denotes the rise in the EGO. Things and Situations will always be the same as they are, Its all about the individuals own internal purity levels of looking into them with various prospective and terminology of defying the conditions by its own satisfactory levels.

"I" as a Body/SPIRIT/SOUL :

The point of making comparisons is valid till the enlightenment is not achieved or the awakening of the sub-conscious levels has not even started a bit within yourself.
That's why, its being said by these great Holy Saints : NO matter how much read about GOD, OR even do different practices or techniques about getting something exceptional from others........You will never reach out to that Silence/Peace - which is my(GOD) home.
So, to meet me (GOD), firstly try to know and understand my presence; and your own conscious will make you letting yourself experience the same.

The Circle of Life and Death, Loved Ones and Enemies, Good and Bad, Rich and Poor, Male and Female, Love and Anger, Greed and Knowledge of something etc.....is all the creation of this Nature....And, till the time you(individual) live in this so called illusionary vision of the life, then you yourself are making a next room of existence over here in this materialistic world again.

That's why, I (GOD) exists far far away from this Past, Present, Future phenomenal life.

To Know GOD, try to know yourself first of all.

The Mantra is : "ALL IN ONE and ONE IN ALL".


Amen!

God Bless Everyone!