How do you overcome fear of being manipulated?

[clara927]

While I was writing this I think I answered my own question. I guess the fear is coming from the belief that the person has done the same thing before to someone else. And I guess that the answer is to have no expectations. If I fear being tricked, it must be because somewhere inside I still have an expectation.

[jac]

fear of being tricked is very common, more common then many people realize. However not all forms of manipulation are harmful, sometimes people manipulate to bring aid to people who need it. the power manipulation is also very limited in power, and that no secrets can last forever. The entire social system is loaded with manipulation methods, but there are too many manipulators in the world to have significant impact and it is very rare for someone to have an overwhelming amount to have the ability to predict your every action.

Remember this, everyone has the ability to manipulate, therefor everyone can defend against it. You just got to trust in yourself that you have the strength and courage to pull through life.

[cyberangel]

Dear Clara,

No one likes to think they have or are being tricked so I can see where you are coming from. It is also hard to answer this without knowing all the details but I suppose for me ‘Fear’ is the absence of faith and a lack of faith is having no trust, and for me, reading your question I can clearly see a lack of trust.

“How can one trust without expectation?” I would say learn to trust your OWN heart first Clara, listen to your own intuition, but most importantly base it on how this person treats YOU and remember EVERYONE has a past but it is how a person lives in the present that is important.

I hope you find the answers you are seeking Clara but above all I hope you find happiness my sweet friend

Love and Light xxxx

[Ishtahota]

Learn how to castrate a bull and also learn how to shoot a 45caliber.

[smileyface]

Hi Clara, 

I found your question very interesting!

I’ve had an epiphany within the last few days in relation

to fear. Fear is self-created. When I write this now it seems so strikingly obvious
that I wonder how I haven’t seen it before. There is nothing in this world that
we should be afraid of. Not people nor situations or anything else for that
matter. Fear is not beneficial. We may believe that if we obsess or worry about
something enough that it gives us a sense of protection or comfort etc, when
realistically it does nothing but limit our potential…

We can let “fear” transgress into all aspects of our lives
without even realising that we are its maker... or that it’s happening. I
personally have decided to let myself breathe freely, step back and accept these
things. For I feel if I don’t resist what I’m doing in that way I can really
heal myself.. If I obsess on the other hand I would just be creating fear about
fear.. If that makes sense.. So that cycle wouldn’t be truly broken.


I’m not perfect, I make mistakes and that’s the reality…

Love and Light <3 
Roisinxoxo

[samy03]

Very nicely being put on your suggestions on "Fear" over here from all of you my friends. And, i completely agree with the same as mentioned.

[ "Fear" / "Excitement" / "Hope" / "Desire" / "Favor" / "Aggression" / "Anxiety"

Actually Firstly as we all know that these all above and many other things like them are simply part of our life.

We can't let ourselves hide/stop them to come in our life in any way. It's true that no body wants to have sadness/Pain/Hard times in his/her life in any manner. Everyone just pray to have happiness or around there life. But, it's like excess of anything is not good. And same like having more sweet becomes a major cause of becoming a Diabetic soon.

So, our life is already been designed in such a way that Fun and Work can be managed equally in the form of Happiness and Hard Emotions.

Fear can be described in many ways :

- When a child is crying in the absence of his/her parents
- When there is something you are scared of loosing
- When the relationship is not flowing the way it has to be
- when the results/circumstances are not accordingly in your favor
- When the life certainity becomes tentative.

And many other day to day life instances, that actually give birth to the anxiety level in your body, will be termed as a word called "FEAR"

Ultimately, the whole matter will ends at a point of "How to Overcome yourself from Fear/Stress/Negative Thoughts.

And, the very simple answer that has already being said on the question itself as :

"Minimum Expectations & Full Efforts" will bring the results that even if not come out the way they should be. Then, also atleast the level of getting hurt from emotions will be very less.

God Bless Everyone

[sparklekaz]

Hi Clara,

From my own experience, people manipulate us by playing on our emotions. I don't believe being tricked is being manipulated; Being tricked, is being lied to, there is a difference.

How do we protect ourselves from being manipulated? For me I would say, learn to recognise when someone is playing with your emotions. Someone who knows you well, will find this easier to do then someone who doesn't. A person who knows you, will know what buttons to press. In other words things about your nature, such as low self esteem, jealousy and insecurity. They know how to provoke a reaction in you, and emotional reactions if they are strong ones, will in my opinion affect our judgement and rational thinking.

Many people realise this is being done to them, and in spite of that will still find themselves reacting, and doing something that goes against their better judgement. Usually its done on impulse and we often regret it later, but by then its a bit late. I have learned, the more I understand myself, and what makes me react, the less I will allow others to lead me down a pathway I don't want to go.

I have also come to understand that by allowing others to do this to me, I can't blame them. I have to take responsibility for it upon myself. Because at the end of the day, no one can 'make us' do something that goes against our inner moral compass or true selves, unless we 'allow' them too. No one takes our personal power away from us Clara, painful though it is to admit it, we allow it to happen. I have come to believe and understand that blaming others for what goes wrong in our lives is wrong, and if we keep doing that, then we will never learn from the lessons our mistakes bring.

Love and light
Kaz

[gruntal]

At some level it is manipulation, at another it is partnership. On the bottom it might be charity unless you can term it entitlement.

I have practiced saying "not even interested" when appropriate which can level the playing considerably; most people can take the hint and leave. Unless of course there is something I want that I can't have or do all by myself and then the dance begins.

The biggist surprise to me is to get all "huffy" and see who or what backs down only to return under with a smile and a more genial attitude. I even beeped a PitBull once on the nose and she became most friendly! Maybe she thought that was a nice gesture. Or if she didn't stop barking at me dog I'd haul off and slug her on the snout.

I have reason to believe fear can be mutual.

[markings]

I don't understand the question. Does anybody want to willingly open themselves to manipulation? Fear usually makes us withdraw, create a greater distance. I do not want to be close up with a manipulater.

[gruntal]

If you are guenuinely in trouble some kind person will come and help you. But if you just act docile some 'Big Daddy" will use you like a video game; dropping in quarters (tokens) for each play and you become like Mario or Luigi - pursuing goals to someone elses satisfaction. I have had rather too much personal experience like that myself all my life and it wasn't nice. Well I was trying to act nice but it didn't work and I can't over emphasize enough that should NEVER be part of the bargain. Freedom is a birthright; it is not something you need to earn.

[marcus]

You overcome the fear of being manipulated by learning to recognize manipulation then taking positive action to avoid those who try to manipulate you.