Practicing Loving Kindness

[sparklekaz]

Hi all,

Spiritual practitioners often aspire to live alone in the mountains among wildlife, yet a city can be an equally or an even more supportive environment for practice. Unlike the wilderness, cities don’t have many trees, aside from those in parks, but they do have lots of people and—if you think about it—people are natural too! And the irony is, that in a place where you would not think it was possible to be lonely - cities can be the loneliest places in the world. Is there a feeling more terrifying then being surrounded by thousands of faces, and not knowing any of them. So it is because of this, our cities are filled with so many in need, lonely and vulnerable, that there are so many more opportunities to practice kindness, compassion, joy in others’ happiness, and equal care for all.

In the city, even if we are holed up in our flats and apartment, we can’t escape the fact that others surround us. There is the old woman next door, a transient/homeless person who sometimes sleeps on the doorways, and there is the drummer upstairs. If we try to isolate ourselves too much, we won’t be able to practice loving-kindness. If, on the other hand, we cultivate a sense of being interconnected - of being a part of our city in the same way that we are a part of our family, then we will develop loving care and kindness for all of our city’s people and we will have a lot of opportunity to practice.

Living in the city, we brush up against so many people each day. Sometimes just smiling at someone or opening a door can be the practice of loving-kindness. On the bus we can give an elderly person our seat. If we take a taxi or pick up our laundry, there is always a way to extend warmth in some way. There are many homeless people living on the street. Sometimes they sit with a cup or a hat in front of them, asking for money. Sometimes they hold signs that say, “I’m hungry, can you help me?” Sometimes they are friendly and sometimes they look depressed or cold. They often have plastic bags full of belongings. It seems to mean a lot to them when someone takes the time even to notice they are there.

It is most important that the heart responds when there is an opportunity; that we are moved to care for others rather than just getting so stuck in our own head that we become oblivious to what is going on around us. If we can’t recognize opportunities to help people in need, mostly it’s our own loss. Small gestures of kindness transform us; they show us the best part of our mind and connect us to others in the best possible way. Through loving kindness and compassion for all.

Love and light
Kaz

[mojomojo]

The biggest paradox for me, with spirituality, is you cannot live in this world with spiritual beliefs, put into practise, without becoming a victim, which explains why so many live in isolation, on mountains and forests. The choice of hermit lifestyle, stems more from, not being able to put up with peoples game playing and nonsense, than anything else.
Whether it’s a city, large town or small town, people will pull you down, from my point of view it is impossible to stay in the flow, while living and working among non believers, even verbalising your beliefs will ostracise you. One small example, having a conversation with someone I knew quite well, we started talking about God, end result I agreed to lend him two books.
These books had such a profound effect on him, that the rest of this small social circle and his immediate family, decided his head was f****d up, and that I was to blame.

Living with spiritual ideals is way before it’s time, the majority of the world are no where near, coming from a spiritual view point in a world of might is right, just does not work, everything about the Bible highlights this, Jesus and his followers were persecuted and running for their life.
Spiritually, I do not believe we have evolved one inch, the wide spread surge of books and workshops, is nothing more than money making and few take it beyond the feel good factor.

Yes, we can show compassion, by giving to those less well off, I carried this idea at one time, where I could not say no to anyone who asked me for help, and my wife would look at me and question, how do you know they are genuine, and my spiritual ego relished the moment and answered, Life has given me the opportunity to give or not give, whether they are genuine or not, has nothing to do with me, that lies with them.
But once you start giving, they just keep coming, then reality kicks in, I’am not a wealthy man by any means, I can not afford to be spiritual, it’s as simple as that.

Yes, it would be great if everyone came from a spiritual mindset, problem is they do not, and judging from the looks of things, they will not be for a long time to come, if ever.
Unfortunately, the kingdom of heaven is in our heads only, until it spills over into this reality nothing will change.

[aceofcups]

Thank you Kaz...

A quote I love from H.P Blavatsky

There is a road, steep and thorny, beset with perils of every kind, but yet a road, and it leads to the very heart of the Universe: I can tell you how to find those who will show you the secret gateway that opens inward only, and closes fast behind the neophyte for evermore. There is no danger that dauntless courage cannot conquer; there is no trial that spotless purity cannot pass through; there is no difficulty that strong intellect cannot surmount. For those who win onwards there is reward past all telling—the power to bless and save humanity; for those who fail, there are other lives in which success may come.

peace

ace

[hera]

May 17, 2018 15:08:25 GMT aceofcups said:

Thank you Kaz...

A quote I love from H.P Blavatsky

There is a road, steep and thorny, beset with perils of every kind, but yet a road, and it leads to the very heart of the Universe: I can tell you how to find those who will show you the secret gateway that opens inward only, and closes fast behind the neophyte for evermore. There is no danger that dauntless courage cannot conquer; there is no trial that spotless purity cannot pass through; there is no difficulty that strong intellect cannot surmount. For those who win onwards there is reward past all telling—the power to bless and save humanity; for those who fail, there are other lives in which success may come.

Oh Wow Ace,
I have never read that before, but it's beautiful and spoke to my soul.  Thank you.

peace

ace

[hera]

This is subject I have debated a few times on non-spiritual forums and am always berated, because my attitude is that I choose to give to those who seem to be in need, but of course we don't know do we. Perhaps some of them are not genuine, but, hey, if just one of them is and what I give them helps in even a small way then I don't worry about the others who weren't.

It's a subject close to my heart and any one of us could easily find ourselves in those people's situation if our ship overturned...........perhaps then we would be extremely grateful for someone to extend a helping hand, or even a smiling acknowledgement of our existence.

Great thread Kaz.

[aceofcups]

I think any giving in which one can do with the "INTENTION" to help - Creates at energy both in the giver and receiver.

The trick is to use discernment but even if we are fooled by someone the giving process still creates an energy pattern in our Auric field if the intention is correct. The spiritual goal is trying to give "without attachment" of the ego if possible. Just giving because it is the loving-kindness thing to do from your heart. And you really feel it.

But also not to feel guilty if it doesn't feel right at a certain time and with certain people- who does that help? to give out of guilt?

We are all evolving, learning beings.  Learning to live with Loving- Kindness can be hard  but does not mean we can't try it once in a while.  In some it becomes a way of life.

peace

ace

[sparklekaz]

Hi Robert, Ace and Hera,

I have really enjoyed reading your replies and thoughts about this post. I can understand where you are coming from Robert. As I have at times experienced the same feelings. And as you can tell by reading some of my previous posts, felt frustrated and wondered why do I try to hard to be a good person, if the rest of the world, or those people I tend to interact with, simply use my good intentions, my kind heart and empathy for their own ends. Why do I bother, when I live in what can seem like a 'dog eat dog' world.

Then one day I thought about it some more and realized that I only got worked up and upset about it when I analyzed it too much. I realized that when I do what I do, whether it is to help an old lady with her shopping. Or to offer a meal for a neighbour who has no money. Or to sit with someone lonely and offer to do their nails or dye their hair for them to feel better about themselves. When I do any of these things, it comes purely and spontaneously from the heart. And I only feel resentful, hurt or angry, when I feel let down or disappointed in someone to whom I have shown only helpfulness and kindness. So this is about 'My Expectations'. Or rather Expectations, after the fact.

I can no more change my nature than anyone can change who they are. And the day I stopped thinking about what others should or should not do, and just be myself, was liberating. I am not saying that I still don't experience feelings of disappointment sometimes. People can be very selfish and self obsessed. But there are also many individuals out there who are caring and kind and who will put themselves out without a second thought to help someone in need. The world is a big place, and there are billions of people out there, many doing there bit to make the world a better or safer place. Just because in our own limited experience we may not have experienced it, does not mean its not happening does it. The world is a scary hard place, with monsters lurking. But it can also be a beautiful safe haven, where angels in human form take care of us.

Ace, I really loved the excerpt from Madam Blavatsky "There is a road, steep and thorny, beset with perils of every kind, but yet a road, and it leads to the very heart of the Universe: I can tell you how to find those who will show you the secret gateway that opens inward only, and closes fast behind the neophyte for evermore. There is no danger that dauntless courage cannot conquer; there is no trial that spotless purity cannot pass through; there is no difficulty that strong intellect cannot surmount. For those who win onwards there is reward past all telling—the power to bless and save humanity; for those who fail, there are other lives in which success may come." I had not heard of it before either. Thank you so much for sharing it. Like Hera, it also speaks directly to my heart and moves me.

Love and light
Kaz

[sparklekaz]

Hi Robert,

I have been re reading your reply and wanted to talk to you a little more about some of the points you made. You said "The biggest paradox for me, with spirituality, is you cannot live in this world with spiritual beliefs, put into practise, without becoming a victim". I know from our previous conversations, and I have to say at some point have felt similar. That being spiritual is a bit like playing the game of life, following the rules, but no one else does. So I guess if it were a game of football, it could be likened to losing the game, because the other side does not follow the same rules. A victim of foul play so to speak. That by keeping to the rules and being sportsmanlike we will always be at a disadvantage.

I would like to flip this around a little, and look at it from another perspective. I know people in my life who have cheated to get what they want. Whether its on a test at school, or at playing a sport. Scoring high in exams, and winning the game. It did not matter to them that they did well unfairly, or not through their own brain and effort. Now, if that were me, I could not enjoy the praise and acclaim I would get for winning, if I knew I had cheated. Even if no one ever found out. Because I would know I had cheated. I would know I did not deserve the acclaim. So ultimately, for some of us, and I'm guessing your like me Robert. Straight and honest. And would not pretend or claim something to be true that wasn't or pretend you were better then you were. You would be uncomfortable, and would not be able to do this either. So regardless of whether people who do the right thing or not are perceived as weak or a victim, we cannot change who we are. So rather than feel you are perceived as weak or a pushover. Be at peace in your own mind and heart that you are who you are and not someone who feels they have to lie and cheat to be somebody who can be admired and looked up too. To be who you are shows a really healthy level of self esteem and emotional intelligence.

Over time, I am sure you have met some really spiritual people in your life Robert. People you have loved and respected. You feel this way about them because you truly admire the way they live their lives and how they treat others. Have you ever thought they were weak or a pushover? Have you ever looked down on them for being taken advantage of, for their kindness and trusting nature? I find, rather than getting angry about being taken advantage of. I accept that it can be a consequence of my actions, but I do not regret doing what I do. Those who are in need will benefit, and those who are not, might feel inspired to be better people, because they see decency in others. I don't think people set out to behave badly, it is just that they have only been around other people that do, and for some reason believe they have to emulate them. Depending on their life circumstances. Can we blame others for acting badly to get by. I guess if your a tiddler in a pool full of sharks you don't last long, unless you become a shark. Do you get what I am saying. Its a complex issue. But deep down perhaps its only us that make it so. The simple truth is, that we should do what feels right to us. Trust our gut instincts, that usually gives us the heads up if something is not right. And rise above all the pettiness that others get so caught up in. Life is too short.

Love and light
Kaz

[mojomojo]

Hello Kaz,
Let me start by saying, thank you for taking the time to reply.
I feel you have hit the nail on the head, and the word, frustration is very apt.
Walking a spiritual path in this life, is as you have already stated, means playing and adhearning to rules the vast majority do not even know or care exist.
I may be sexist here, but certain aspects of this journey, are in my view more difficult for a male, it is expected at certain situations that physical violence be exercised, failure to do this results in others seeing you as weak, and this they will prey upon, as a certain Irish pro fighter has stated, If you are not prepared to fight, people will walk all over you.
In my teenage years, even though it was totally against my nature, I became like them, I developed a violent, explosive temper, it was a case of survival., this for the large part was cured, when I looked into spirituality.
It’s absolutely crazy, but I was more at peace in London, than a town in Ireland.
It is a part of Irish DNA, physical violence.
I do not feel weak myself, but highly frustrated at the cave man mentality of the vast majority, and absolutely stunned that this mentality has been carried into an age, where you would think people should know better, and walking away does not always work.
Some people even see kindness as a weakness.
It could just be that, we have left London, where I feel I had made progress spirituality, and arriving back here and seeing things through spiritual eyes, as they are, brought me back to my years growing up here, I could not make sense of them then, nor can I now.
It is for these reasons, I say, it is impossible to progress spirituality, without removing yourself from society, and I do not believe becoming a door mat, helps one grow spirituality.
It can be a difficult balancing act, when one makes spiritual progress, it is like living with one foot in two different worlds, and the edges at times can become blurred, but when one foot is among cave men, forget it.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Robert,

I get what your saying. And yes I would agree with you, it probably is more difficult for a man. Expectations of behaviour. Not just how they should behave physically, but mentally and emotionally also. Big boys don't cry. They don't talk about their feelings. They are not supposed to admit to being afraid. Is it any wonder that the suicide rates in men, particularly young men are so high. Thankfully, we live in an age where this type of stereotyping about how the sexes should behave is becoming less marked. But it is still there.

When you were talking about 'the fighter' in your DNA or cultural background, an image of Bruce Lee popped into my mind. No one could accuse him of being soft or weak, yet if you read about him and his story, as he grew up and developed his art, to him it was very much about understanding himself and the use of the power he had and believed we all had within. His spiritualistic view of the world was inspirational. He believed real true strength was actually more of an inner state of being than an outer manifestation. I think if you do not know much about him already Robert, you might find his words thought provoking and inspirational.

Love and light
Kaz

[mojomojo]

Hello Kaz,
Again thank you for your reply, I do not mean to hijack your post and turn the debate about violence, my point was in certain situations it can be near impossible to walk a spiritual path.
Bruce Lee was every teenage boys hero back in the seventies, I must have seen every movie the man made, I have read some of his philosophy, but am also aware some of his fight scenes in his movies turned into real fights, violence as a spiritual journey?

I will not babble on about the subject much more, but to give you an idea of what we’re talking about, in working class society in Ireland, it is normal practice for every young male to fight everyone in his local area, in order to establish his place, this then extends to fighting other groups from other areas of the same town, this leads to the best from each area fighting for top position, and if you happen to visit another town for a night out, expect rivilarly, maybe it’s the same in other countries as well.
God pity any young male who moved to this country in their early years, they were put through the same paces, and if one of those high in ranking took a dislike, the new comers life was made miserable, been in a serious fight everyday of his life, absolute madness.

The town were I grew up has bouncers on the doors of pubs and fast food joints from the early afternoon on weekends, there is a large bridge on the way into this town, it is called sucidide bridge, a group has been set up, where from 8 pm at night, this bridge is patrolled by volunteers, to try to prevent sucidides, people when they come of age, leave this town and never come back.

I have often puzzled where does all this appetite for violence come from, but if you look into Irish history, it becomes apparent, if you kick a dog long enough it will eventually bite back, if it is continuously kicked, biting becomes a way of life.

Right that’s enough on the subject, I’am starting to depress myself.