why am i still in this world?

[Deleted]

i can SEE so much about everything. people seems so scripted like robots.  everybody seems so fake.

i don't want to be here anymore.  i just want to exit.  this world is no longer a fit.  

this world seems like a computer program or a dream world.

i SEE too much and feel like i don't belong here anymore.

i feel like i'm in some manufactured and artificial circus.

[sparklekaz]

Hi inthemiddle,

You sound so sad and disillusioned. I have no doubt there are fake people in the world, but I also know there are many genuine people out there also. The terminology you use about the world being an illusion, is often used in mystical/esoteric terms. In Hinduism they call it Maya. It can be helpful to view life in this way when trying to deal with day to day problems. To see it all in a philosophical way can help us to rise above current difficult circumstances and to understand that difficulty, pain is all connected to personal and spiritual growth. That it is impermenant, because everything changes. But it can be detrimental if it becomes the only way in which we see the world. Because our perspective is always coloured by our thoughts and responses to any given situation. Rather than the reality of that situation. I don't say this to play down how you feel, but to explain how I understand the concept of the world of illusion. Though it can be helpful to see life this way, so as to help people get through when life its painful and hard. It can have the opposite effect. And give one a sense of being disconnected from life and other people. We can feel as if 'we' have no place in it. Everything starts to feel unreal, and this can be a frightening feeling.

The Buddha said, that a spiritual life is not mean't to lead you away from the world, but deeper into it. And I truly believe this. My take on it is, that it is through self understanding, we come to recognize through our own traits and reactions to life, how other people feel and react to life also. It's mean't to lead you to a deeper understanding of the human condition, and thereby cultivating more feelings of empathy, love and compassion within you. You say you see life like a computor program of a dream world. In life, do you play a lot of computor games? I know a lot of people do, and become quite addicted to it. There has been a lot of research done on young people who spend huge amounts of time playing online. The side effects can be this sense of disconnectedness, a desensitization to their emotional responses to things. I'm not generalizing here, and I apologise if this does not relate to you. Just pointing it out.

The problem is, when feeling like this, its all to easy to withdraw even more from the world and other people. Reinforcing this sense of being different and disconnected. Developing into a full blown anxiety state. Its a bit of vicious circle. It also sounds like you are very depressed. Is there anyone around you that you can talk to about how you are feeling? They say that the outer world often reflects how we are feeling inside. Basically, we see what we expect to see. We look for the negative and if that's what we look for, the odds are that is all we will see. Try to interact with people who have a more optimistic view of life if you can. Who see joy, beauty and are playful, fun to be with. If your only spending time with others who share your outlook, all you will do is reinforce each others negativity. Only seeing a bleak onesided view of life. There are always two sides, such is the law of balance. Yin and yang.

Please believe me when I say that the world is not full of fake people who don't care. Quite the opposite. Amylee has responded to your post, and I have. We both care very much and we don't even know you. And I'm willing to bet there are people around you, who really love you. And are concerned about you. I truly believe that regardless of if you view life from a perspective of nothings real, or its all illusionary. This physical life we live is very real. And if we were not mean't to have this experience as spiritual beings, we would not be here. You have a purpose. Try to focus your mind on finding something you enjoy, that will allow you to use your creativity in a productive way. You have a talent for words and expressing feeling through that vehicle. A poet. Writing things down can be really cathartic. You have a gift, use it to find a way through how you are feeling. It's all part of your spiritual journey.

Love and light
Kaz

[Deleted]

Jan 16, 2016 10:10:22 GMT amylee said:

hi inthemiddle,
i'm fairly certain that everybody who is awakening is feeling like this to a degree at some point.
the reason of us being here is simply the BEING i believe - so the point is self-evident. if we weren't meant to be here we simply wouldn't be.
yes, we can rage against it and resist the fact that we are here, but in that moment we resist LIFE itself and also the higher order/power which has put us here in the first place.
i had a phase like that recently too but done a 'munchausen' i.e. pulling myself out by my own hair so to speak - out of the misery of that negative thinking.
as 'god helps the ones who help themselves', when deciding to surrender to your fate (being here - for whatever reason, even if it's not apparent to your human self), then you feel better instantly. you can see it as a game and feel no longer helpless and a victim (which you do while identifying with your false self and all life circumstances) but you are the observer and can even enjoy 'watching the circus'.
now i hope you can pick yourself up again as we need awakened people in this world - imagine if they all exited because they don't feel they don't belong...and even that is an illusion as we all belong right where we are. and there are always people you will encounter who are like-minded, besides the fact that we are all ONE anyway (even if it doesn't look that way, but we are, we all come from the same source).
take care,
Amy

hi amy,

i don't get the idea anybody is awake.  i see things nobody else does.  take for instance the bee symbolism at Vatican City as in a Hive Mind (Beehave, human Beeing etc.)

everything since birth is programming and downloads, including the religious stuff and spirituality.

why would you surrender to something when you don't even know what it is?  why surrender if you have free will and create your 'reality'?

i can SEE people are scripted and controlled in their words, in their eyes and behind their eyes...this 'world' seems like a computer program or simulation

there is the story of the Dogon Tribe (doggoneit) from Africa who talks about beings that created humans (Nommos = reversed Mon Os = Moon Us) from Sirius 'B' which is the Dog Star = reversed God Star.  

i've evolved to being able to see everything and it appears this is a dream world where ONE DREAMER is pretending to be everybody both individually and separately. if not that, the 2nd option is computer program/simulation and 3rd option is the Gnostic Demiurge (De Mi Urge = the  'Me' Urge) and the archons (arc on(arc 2 points to bend light)).  

i believe this is a dream world and all beliefs are just leading you as the pavlovian dog chasing its tail.

i've detached from everything yet i'm still in this 'world'..why?

thing is...you don't know for 100% what this is because you are contained within

i'm sick and tired of my personal script and am about to be homeless for the 14th time.  last time was for 1 1/2 years (only 7 months ago) in San Francisco.

since i know the fraud of the system here i don't use ID or the system based on principal.  when i was homeless i ate food off garbage bins and slept outside.

there is some foul thing that is constantly messing with me.  i've seen things you wouldn't believe and i've been through hell and it continues.

i'll be homeless again and have my intestines hanging out since 2011 already (hernia).  whatever it is it shows a total disregard for my pain and suffering..

[Deleted]

Jan 16, 2016 14:42:17 GMT sparklekaz said:

Hi inthemiddle,

You sound so sad and disillusioned. I have no doubt there are fake people in the world, but I also know there are many genuine people out there also. The terminology you use about the world being an illusion, is often used in mystical/esoteric terms. In Hinduism they call it Maya. It can be helpful to view life in this way when trying to deal with day to day problems. To see it all in a philosophical way can help us to rise above current difficult circumstances and to understand that difficulty, pain is all connected to personal and spiritual growth. That it is impermenant, because everything changes. But it can be detrimental if it becomes the only way in which we see the world. Because our perspective is always coloured by our thoughts and responses to any given situation. Rather than the reality of that situation. I don't say this to play down how you feel, but to explain how I understand the concept of the world of illusion. Though it can be helpful to see life this way, so as to help people get through when life its painful and hard. It can have the opposite effect. And give one a sense of being disconnected from life and other people. We can feel as if 'we' have no place in it. Everything starts to feel unreal, and this can be a frightening feeling.

The Buddha said, that a spiritual life is not mean't to lead you away from the world, but deeper into it. And I truly believe this. My take on it is, that it is through self understanding, we come to recognize through our own traits and reactions to life, how other people feel and react to life also. It's mean't to lead you to a deeper understanding of the human condition, and thereby cultivating more feelings of empathy, love and compassion within you. You say you see life like a computor program of a dream world. In life, do you play a lot of computor games? I know a lot of people do, and become quite addicted to it. There has been a lot of research done on young people who spend huge amounts of time playing online. The side effects can be this sense of disconnectedness, a desensitization to their emotional responses to things. I'm not generalizing here, and I apologise if this does not relate to you. Just pointing it out.

The problem is, when feeling like this, its all to easy to withdraw even more from the world and other people. Reinforcing this sense of being different and disconnected. Developing into a full blown anxiety state. Its a bit of vicious circle. It also sounds like you are very depressed. Is there anyone around you that you can talk to about how you are feeling? They say that the outer world often reflects how we are feeling inside. Basically, we see what we expect to see. We look for the negative and if that's what we look for, the odds are that is all we will see. Try to interact with people who have a more optimistic view of life if you can. Who see joy, beauty and are playful, fun to be with. If your only spending time with others who share your outlook, all you will do is reinforce each others negativity. Only seeing a bleak onesided view of life. There are always two sides, such is the law of balance. Yin and yang.

Please believe me when I say that the world is not full of fake people who don't care. Quite the opposite. Amylee has responded to your post, and I have. We both care very much and we don't even know you. And I'm willing to bet there are people around you, who really love you. And are concerned about you. I truly believe that regardless of if you view life from a perspective of nothings real, or its all illusionary. This physical life we live is very real. And if we were not mean't to have this experience as spiritual beings, we would not be here. You have a purpose. Try to focus your mind on finding something you enjoy, that will allow you to use your creativity in a productive way. You have a talent for words and expressing feeling through that vehicle. A poet. Writing things down can be really cathartic. You have a gift, use it to find a way through how you are feeling. It's all part of your spiritual journey.

Love and light
Kaz

hi kaz,

all the evidence points to this being a dream world, ONE DREAMER pretending to be all of 'us' both individually and separately.  even the law of all lands is Maritime Law or the Law of Corporations.  most people don't even real lies that the USA AND THE UK ARE CORPORATIONS that fall under Vatican City Corporation.  the USA Supreme Court ruled that Corporations are people too.  they ruled correctly..why?  because a people or person is a CORPORATE FICTION.  as in a CORPSE.  i tried to kill myself at 17 years old (i'm 51 now) and i told my stepmom i didn't want to become like people. she said "what do you mean?". i said "the walking dead"  Maritime Law = Mary Time = Mother Mary = Virgin Mary = Mar(e) which is ocean in Spanish/Italian = water = dream state.  'how do you solve a problem like maria?' from Sound of Music.  the Hindu God Vish(nu) as in FISH.  we are the little fish in the water dreaming. i can SEE everything.  

here are more examples:  Star of Bethlehem = Star of Be The Lamb; Islam = Is Lamb; IsRaEl or Is(not)real?; transcend = trance end; entranced = in trance; candy = can die

Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz tapped her ruby slippers 3 times..why?  3 times represents the Trinity of Mother, Father, Son (ISIS, OSIRIUS AND HORUS).  RUBY = RUB EYES. what do you do when you wake up from dreaming?  rub your eyes and put on your slippers..understand?

in Dark City movie Murdoch woke up to see aliens (subconscious mind) scripting people as they slept.  he was on a spaceship (his own mind ('ground control to Major Tom (David Bowie (as in Dog (God)))

in Truman Show Christof (of Christ) was in the Moon (Mother/DREAM STATE) scripting Tru(e)man's World.  Truman woke up to see everybody around him was fake and scripted

the parable of 2 sons from the Bible where the Father welcomes back his Son because "whereas before He was dead, now He is alive"..meaning this 'world' is a dead world of the walking dead

i could tell you so any things i see...i meet people and know what their problems are...girl next door is histrionic personality disorder...i knew it without even having studied stuff about it...

when you can SEE what this world is the 'MATRIX' messes with your life..makes you life a living hell

i did 1000 euros of translation work and i wasn't paid right before Christmas.  the THINGY that is messing with me gave me a message that i wasn't gonna get paid..i didn't get paid and now i'm gonna be homeless again.  do you know what it's like to be in the cold and rain eating food off garbage cans? do you know what it's like to try to find a place to go to the toilet or to be harrassed by police where you sleep?

this 'world' has NEVER changed. it's a washing machine.  they've been collecting trillions of $$ since the 1950s and the last disease ever cured was polio in the 1950s

i've had things you wouldn't believe...nasty but also magical...the THINGY talks to me through others and takes them over just like the agents in the Matrix movie

my name is Bryan.  look at this commercial somebody gave me to watch: 

this world appears to be a TRINITY OF MOTHER, FATHER, SON.  if you look online for a photo of a $US you'll see an all-seeing-eye and a pyramid (fire in the middle = pyra mid).  it's either a Dream world, a program or a Gnostic Demiurge/archons.

i see way too much to enjoy this 'world' and I'M NEVER LEFT ALONE.  i get 24/7 abuse since childhood

[Deleted]

both sides of the Trinity mess with me and i have never had peace.  Mother EGO archetype versus Father EGO archetype. you can see it in the political system of the USA Corporation.  2 illusory sides but ultimately with same agenda of a STORY.  when that doesn't work you get aliens in your existence which represent the subconscious mind (shapeshifters etc.)

i've even see my friend rescripted.  one day i was telling him a story about how my biological mother used to make rhubarb pie from rhubarb that grew around the house. he asked me "what is rhubarb?" guess what happened?  a few years passed and he tells me one night a story about how his mother used to make rhubarb pie with rhubarb that grew around her yard.  

people rescript constantly.

since i don't buy into anything in this 'world' it then scripted people calling me many names like Bible King, Narasimha, Vishnu, an Avatar, a fragment in John the Baptist, a Tall One from Sirius, the messiah etc.

i don't buy into anything in this 'world' because i think whatever it is it wants you to have some attachment, some purpose or buying into being special...

i don't think i'm special..i just SEE things that other people don't see...i just wanna be left alone..but it NEVER leaves me alone

[sparklekaz]

Hi inthemiddle,

If we want to, we can see meaning and symbolism in just about literally everything. Indeed, many believe that the whole point about seeing signs is that they are only confirming, what we have already decided to be true. Or what we associate with having a positive or negative meaning. A simple example. You are trying to decide whether to change your job or not. You decide to wait for a sign. A black cat crosses your path or you keep seeing your lucky number everywhere. These are good luck or positive affirmations for you that mean something is right, so you believe it's the universe saying its right. But really, you've made that decision already unconsciously, but your conscious mind is waiting for a sign that says it's ok to go ahead.

Films like the matrix are full of symbology about the sleep state and awakened state. But in the film, it was machines that were controling people. Feeding in information. But if you remember, it was while they were in their dream state, that they began to realize something was wrong. The machines could only control them properly when they were awake/conscious. The unconscious mind, could not be controlled in the same way. So I see that as nothing and no one can truly influence or control the unconscious mind. When we access that, through meditation or intuition, we liberate ourselves. We still have free-will and a means of seeing reality.

Chiang tzu the philospher said something like; I dreamed I was a butterfly, alighting from flower to flower. I awoke realizing I am a man dreaming he is a butterfly. But, am I am man dreaming he is a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming I am a man? You could drive yourself literally around the bend thinking in those terms. I like to see my waking and sleeping life as both having value, and that I can learn and grow in both states. It doesn't matter to me which is which. All that matters is I live a life of purpose. That I don't harm others and try to be useful, of service and love. Whatever else is mean't for me will come to me. I try to stay in the moment. This moment. Your mind is over analysing everything and I feel for you so much that you have no peace. Remember the mind/ego, likes nothing better than for us to tie ourselves up in knots. Don't get lost in a maze of your own making.

Love and light
Kaz

[Deleted]

Jan 16, 2016 18:37:02 GMT sparklekaz said:

Hi inthemiddle,

If we want to, we can see meaning and symbolism in just about literally everything. Indeed, many believe that the whole point about seeing signs is that they are only confirming, what we have already decided to be true. Or what we associate with having a positive or negative meaning. A simple example. You are trying to decide whether to change your job or not. You decide to wait for a sign. A black cat crosses your path or you keep seeing your lucky number everywhere. These are good luck or positive affirmations for you that mean something is right, so you believe it's the universe saying its right. But really, you've made that decision already unconsciously, but your conscious mind is waiting for a sign that says it's ok to go ahead.

Films like the matrix are full of symbology about the sleep state and awakened state. Chiang Lua the philospher said something like; I dreamed I was a butterfly, alighting from flower to flower. I awoke realizing I am a man dreaming he is a butterfly. But, am I am man dreaming he is a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming I am a man? You could drive yourself literally around the bend thinking in those terms. I like to see my waking and sleeping life as both having value, and that I can learn and grow in both states. It doesn't matter to me which is which. All that matters is I live a life of purpose. That I don't harm others and try to be useful, of service and love. Whatever else is mean't for me will come to me. I try to stay in the moment. This moment. Your mind is over analysing everything and I feel for you so much that you have no peace. Have you ever tried meditating?

Love and light
Kaz

hi kaz,

what i SEE is not some willy nilly meaningless symbolism.  

the symbolism, metaphor, allegory, phonetics etc. are IN EVERYTHING. implying a Dream World, Program or Gnostic Demiurge

i am NOT the scriptwriter or Dreamer either.  i am being forced on a script.

i have 2 minds now.  i can see that my avatar is scripted.  i am 'all spread out' now and undefineable.  i don't identify with my given name and history anymore as Bryan.

in other words my mind is a sieve and i type or talk without needing to think because my avatar is programmed/scripted.

i'm actually calm and peaceful most of the  time but the character/avatar is what is doing the talking and typing

i separate it into my TRUE SELF AND THE EGO CHARACTER ROLE AS BRYAN...2 minds

i don't need meditation because my head is almost always empty of thoughts

i am shown things and i have this need to write it down...

[Deleted]

Jan 16, 2016 19:24:40 GMT amylee said:

hello again inthemiddle,

there are some people awake, for sure. not too many but they do exist and the numbers are increasing, or so it seems. i understand what you see, all the signs and symbols, all the stuff that is shoved into the ‚conspiracy theory‘ drawer by the ‚normal people‘. i even believe in some of them myself as they are just too blatantly obvious to be ignored or to be considered a coincidence.
for all we know we really could be in a game, having taken mind-altering drugs, and lie on some table somewhere with bored creatures watching our dreams/thoughts/realities we have created on a big screen. i sometimes feel like we are in a role-play game – you get little clues (signs and symbols) and are supposed to make sense of them to get to higher levels/get further in the game.

anyway, we could think about this all day long and just drive ourselves crazy. i opt for realizing that there are things that we will most probably never uncover while in this dimension, but still try to live our lives as best as we can. and yes sometimes it looks like someone is having a laugh at our expense and enjoying our discomfort and despair (mainly when we are suffering), but in the end i always so far have found the blessing hidden within times like these, so i still strongly believe that the higher power (we/our higher selves/god/the big unknown) is benign in essence and has our best interest at heart. and if our best interest is growth and reaching higher states of consciousness and realizing that we are not what we seem to be at all (which unfortunately for our comfort-loving human bodies and minds is reached mainly by enduring pain), well then so be it.

you ask why we would surrender if we don’t know to what exactly. well that’s exactly the point, we don’t know what it is so we only have the choice of fighting against the unknown, or to accept ‚our fate‘, i.e. being here and being here now.
but to be honest i think we have created our suffering ourselves (if you believe e.g. in a soul plan and karmic effects), and then the surrender is really only surrendering to ourselves.
i find your symbols very interesting, i haven’t heard of most of them. i think as long as YOU see a sign in them and a relevance, then that meaning is real for you and your truth and journey. i have a sign in my own life as well, and i too think that just cannot be a coincidence. my so-called twin flame lives in a city meaning something like ‚worthwhile‘, so i also think this is a clear sign of the guy at the control centre to let me know it’s not just an illusion, and the suffering is indeed worth it. not that i took any notice of it at first, but as i encountered more and more signs it got harder and harder to ignore them.

i also read one theory that we are in fact everybody else as well as us (what you mentioned as well), and everyone is showing us an aspect of ourselves and we either like or dislike them depeending on whether we reject this aspect in ourselves...and the big aim is to get to the place of love for everybody by accepting more and more of our own shadow sides.
but you‘re right, all beliefs, concepts and theories are probably pointless in the way that they don’t lead us to the ultimate truth, they might just be further distractions in the end, but we need to get into them anyway in an attempt to find out at least SOME truth, or feeel that we are trying rather than just standing by idly. or maybe becoming aware of the endless possibilities is one of the objectives, who knows.

„i've detached from everything yet i'm still in this 'world'..why?“
well it seems detachment is not the qualification/requirement to proceed/go back to another dimension, but that it may help with enduring this one.

„thing is...you don't know for 100% what this is because you are contained within“
definitely, and that is the big jigsaw that only reveals single pieces of itself from time to time...
i‘m sorry to hear about your impending homelessness and hope this can be avoided. a friend of mine has been living on the streets for over 20 years of his life, only by choice (well i say choice without really believing in free will), so this is of course a different matter.

also i don’t think that ‚it‘ has a disregard for your pain, imho it only shows you the things that are (hidden) within yourself, if you believe in the concept that everything is your mirror. so it’s trying to make you see to value, love and appreciate yourself (do you, on a deeper level?)..because if you don’t, you always suffer. say for instance you have a soul and it knows you are totally lovable (which you are) then how would it show you you’re on the wrong track if you had a negative opinion about yourself and e.g. criticized yourself constantly? not by making you feel good, that‘s for sure. it would give you physical, mental and emotional pain to wake you up to the fact what you are doing to yourself.
i’m only saying this because my own suffering has always been worst when i depreciated myself and my life and existence, so by becoming aware of that program and overwriting it with the ‚truth‘ (i am not worthless and deserve only the best – since i am part of everything/of the source/of god) things did pick up, positive people came into my life and circumstances became more comfortable.
so how do you truly feel about yourself? if you feel your existence here is meaningless then there is already a message in that as well. as i said i felt like that myself only last month, and my suffering was very intense. but after making the decision to believe in the good, the happy end, the sense of it all (whether it turns out to be an illusion in the end or not doesn’t matter, what matters is feeling content about life here and now) i felt good about being again.

i hope you can get back to that place of acceptance/hopefulness/faith/contentment as well, you sound like an interesting person/soul to have around and communicate with.

Amy

hi amy,

i have only scratched the surface on the symbolism, metaphor, allegory, phonetics etc. of this Dream world or program.  if this indeed is a mistake of Sophia and this is indeed controlled by a Gnostic Demiurge/archons then you'd be wise to be leery of getting too comfortable.  sure it could also be a gameworld though i'm not having fun. i've even had people call me a 'Supreme Player' but ISN'T THAT STUFF JUST TO APPEAL TO THE EGO OR SENSE OF IDENTIFICATION...you know..just like when they give you a nice job title without the pay TO GET YOU TOLERATING A SCRIPT.

since i believe everybody is scripted i believe free will and choice don't exist UNTIL you no longer identify with your ego identification as John, Dick or Harry.  i've gone through an 'ego-death-of-sorts' and can now see the 'forest for the trees' and see that the avatar is scripted.  i no longer partake of the serf system because i no longer use ID.  why would you have ID unless you are property?  you'll notice your ID has YOUR NAME ALWAYS IN CAPITAL LETTERS.  YOUR NAME IN CAPS IS A DEBIT TRUST and a bond is issued in your name.  your birth certificate is a traded security as in cattle mooooooooooo.  that's why it's called a certificate.  when you file taxes they ask you to file in CAPITAL BLOCK LETTERS.  everything connects...i'm ONLY giving you a small sample of what i can SEE

point being..to get comfortable in a world of deceit, lies, manipulation and control is not very smart...

you don't know if there are dimensions or even an astral realms...why would somebody traveling dimensions or going to the astral even be on the internet forums communicating with others if they are traveling?  see the deceptions. people have told me they are timetraveling and i always use common sense.  if you could time travel or go to astral realms, you'd be doing that and not slumming it with others on an internet forum

love for me is an illusion and what people are really doing is looking for their other 1/2....meaning if they are playing one illusory side or the other they will always be looking for their other side...masculine versus feminine...but if you have a balance of both IN THE MIDDLE you'll no longer be chasing love and all the other can-die-s of this false self (ego) 'world'

at this point in time the only thing that makes this 'world' bearable is the sensory but that takes the fake money. when you SEE what i SEE you are messed with by the 'Matrix' ('we are borg and you will be assimilated')...i've been censored and banned on the internet because i don't 'tow the party line' as for as beliefs are concerned....CONcepts...beLIEfs...

i feel as a NO SELF...in other words i don't feel SELF PITY...i never felt sorry for myself when i was homeless...self pity comes with the EGO SELF CONCEPT

the world around does NOT reflect me.  it's artificial and manufactured to try to give illusion that it reflects me.  it doesn't. in fact whatever THINGY scripts this world DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME FROM ADAM.  it scripts based on your given name. but once you go through 'ego-death-of-sorts' it no longer understands you.  the synchronicities are artificial and manufactured.

what's the point in being here?  to sit outside homeless stinking and starving in your mind-deluded-bliss singing kumbaya?

what's the point in this 'world' without sensory pleasures or any pleasure for that matter.

i've observed the scripted character performances since childhood like this guy mentions:

freeyourbrain.tripod.com/

what he writes about character is 100% correct but his other extrapolations i'm highly skeptical....

you see...you don't even know if you have a soul....the soul CONcept is programming since childhood

i spent so many years (11 years) involved with new age movement and this 'world' is worse now than ever before.  i've had abuse by EVERYBODY since i was a child (51 years old now)

something about this world smells...

it's a dangerous game to surrender to something you don't know what it is...

the slavery with IDs etc. are facts.   i studied the legalese of the system for years. i know exactly what is going on and i can SEE all the connections in everything

why would you get comfortable in a 'world' where you are being CONTROLLED?  this 'world' is fascist and it has gotten more 'fascist' since even when i grew up in the 1960s and 70s.  

you are taught from day 1 you have choice and free will.  so why would you surrender?  IT'S THE BELIEF LIES THAT GET YOU TOLERATING A SCRIPT YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN.  

it's only once i 'pulled out of my EGO character role' that i could see my avatar and others around me are scripted by some THINGY

this avatar is A CAGE and we are being controlled, deceived, manipulated and toyed with...

[Deleted]

Jan 16, 2016 21:29:16 GMT amylee said:

i'm a Sovereign being and i take my free will.  i don't surrender to anything if i don't know what it is...

how is that an ascension if you still have the monetary slavery system and the control behind it?  new world order = old world order.  the control remains and nothing changes.

why would anybody want an existence when they are being controlled and have no free will.  i'd rather be dead thank you very much.  makes pretending existence pointless and meaningless.

it's because people go along with the system is the very reason this is a cage.  in Matrix movie Morpheus told Neo the people were his enemy..why?  because they go along with slavery

there is no difference between being born on the king's land and being made a subject and taxed to being a slave prostituting yourself for money and having ID like property and giving police and government jurisdiction over you.  you might as well be dead if you are content in being a slave

how is that change?  what's the point in new consciousness if the same fascism and control and slavery exists?

you can't know if there is a God or even a Higher Self.  you are contained within and every beliefs is HEARSAY until proven otherwise.  you only have your sensory experiences and that's it

your surrendering is the very reason we live in a fascist world with monetary slavery and control.  everybody goes along with it which is why nothing ever changes.  washing machine.  new world = same old same old with nice new packaging

i don't think i'm special. i just SEE things and i'm not a willing slave.  why should i save people WHEN THEY KNOWINGLY SUBMIT TO SLAVERY.  THEY WANT THE CAGE.  THEY CAN STAY IN IT.  JUST LET ME OUT!  "the best prison is the one the prisoner is unaware of".  

people love to tell each other and themselves lies, rather than face the truth.  i'm a divine bird in a cage and i want out!

if nobody lives by their principals then what's the point?  might as well just lie about everything then if you are willing to be a slave.

but like i said?  how is that change?  how is that a new earth?  it isn't.

that word 'love' has been so misused and abused.  love is not about control and it's not conditional.  the love of this world is very much about control and it's conditional.  in other words..an illusion

we are totally being messed with on all levels.  you wouldn't believe it if i told you.  i can't even get rideshares, housing, jobs, live-in positions, etc.etc.  my companion sees and experiences the same things.  i could tell you things that would make you REAL LIES that you are in a prison.  it's NOT a beLIEf...i actually get messages from the SCRIPTWRITER when it's messing with me.  i've seen people taken over like the agents in the Matrix movie.  i've seen things you wouldn't believe

this 'world' is scripted by THE EGO OR FALSE SELF.  everything in this 'world', including spirituality is THE EGO giving purpose or meaning to this existence.  achieving something but never going anywhere. the EGO CONcept is a nice way of getting you surrending to something you have no idea what it is..

my companion 'turned on' the same day i did back in 2005.  his birthday is same as mine numerically in reverse.  he experiences the same games as i do in his own attempts to change things.  how is it possible 2 separate people experience this 'world' the same way yet are doing different things?

i've heard a Godlike voice in San Francisco in a park. i've seen a computer appear out of thin air.  doesn't make the voice God or a Demon and it doesn't make the computer appearing magic.  perhaps just little tricks to get me believing something chasing endless rabbit holes in this maze?

[Deleted]

also...ego and false self are CONcepts of this 'world' that sure are useful to get you conforming to a script

why would the EGO or FALSE SELF take away the very things IT WOULD WANT ITSELF like housing and food etc?

sorry but that doesn't make sense. what is messing with me is WHAT SCRIPTS THIS WORLD AND ALSO SCRIPTS THE EGO IDENTIFICATION

THE THINGY THAT SCRIPTS THIS WORLD SCRIPTS ALSO THE EGO IDENTIFICATION OR FALSE SELF in my experience.

[Deleted]

i am wasting my words

you are being scripted by the Mother Ego archetype or you are a computer program

i can see it in your words

some are more obvious than others because the scriptwriter makes mistakes constantly

i told a girl just recently that she was scripted just based on ONE WORD she used.  i see it all the time.

sorry but i'm not somebody's or something's play thing...

perhaps the THINGY needs to get a life of its own and stop living vicariously through characters

i'm not interested in its script.

i think my internet posting days are coming soon to and end for good. this 'world' is a scam.  nothing but lies, manipulation, deception and control

i'm just talking to PROGRAMS OR THE MOTHER OR FATHER ARCHETYPE OR THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

oh well..so much for independent operating men and women...

i'm definitely in a program or a Dream or a Gnostic Demiurge's archonic Matrix

lovely...

[sparklekaz]

Hi to both of you. I think what Amy is saying makes a lot of sense inthemiddle. She is only responding to what you are saying. You say her words are scripted, but I don't see that. I think your last response to her was quite rude, because you didn't like the way in which she has challenged some of the things you've said, or asked you to clarify, justify some of your statements. Are your beliefs that rocky that you feel so threatened by what she has said that you have to resort to insulting her. Because you have no answer for the questions she asked you?

Amy has has spent a lot of time today talking to you. Because she cares and found your posts interesting. You fiercely defend your right to free will, to be able to express yourself in your own way, yet, do not allow others to do the same thing. I would say your reaction is predictable and expected, in someone who will not listen to others and who is completely fixated on their own beliefs.

If you cannot be respectful, or keep your tone civil, Please don't bother to post further.

Kaz

[sparklekaz]

Hi Amy, I agree. It would have been easy to put down all of what he has said to a paranoid state and conspiracy theories. Many would have. But, as you pointed out, the majority of us are aware of how we are manipulated by the media and the government. We are not stupied. The other stuff, is banded about too by the conspiracy theorists. But some of the connections he made re symbolism within religion and other esoterical organizations were new to me. So I found it interesting.

I, like you thought a lot of what he said did make sense. I found your replies to him, your thoughts about what he'd said, interesting and insightful. He is very intelligent. And I'm guessing quite lonely as I doubt he makes friends easily, or allows people to get close to him. Having to live rough, being homeless must be terrible. But it's clear he has some issues. And those issues are probably part of the reason why he's ended up in the situation he is in.

Its interesting how his comments about online discussions were quite derogotary; Yet here he is, on an online forum, sharing his thoughts! He clearly wants contact, interaction with others. You listened and spent a lot of time responding to him. There was no need for him to be rude or get angry with you. Let's hope you've given him food for thought, though somehow I doubt it. His mind has become closed.

Love and light
Kaz

[Deleted]

i'm not gonna play these games
anymore


no more online communicating for me.



i'll check PMs for a couple days



goodbye

[mojomojo]

There are many conspiracy theories out there, and many seem to hold truth, and symbolism does seem to be a large part of it, it's as if they don't care if you realise it or not, from their point of view you can do nothing about it.
But delving too deep into it, can achieve nothing, but cause an awful lot of fear and distrust in everyone and everything, which kind of feeds the machine.
There is nothing wrong with been aware of what is going on, but I wouldn't let it rule my life, you cannot beat the system, you cannot get out of the system, you are a part of it, at best you can only work it to whatever advantage you can.

[donq]

Hi Bryan,

This is a great thread. I saw it a few days ago but didn't have time to post anything. And now you are gone. Hope you see this. And it might be benefit for any readers if you reconsider about coming back.

What you SEE is not new, at least in the Buddhist Vipassana view. It's about "conventional truth" versus "absolute truth".

Okay, you see the script, why other don't/can't see? Because they only see the conventional truth.
Why do they only see the conventional truth? Because of maya, illusion, their ignorance etc.
Ignorance doesn't mean a bad thing. It only means "doesn't know." They don't see the scripts just because they don't know. They still luck of realization, like children who need to learn a lot. So if someone helps them to learn/know, they would be able to see the script. End of story.
The problem is, as for those who see the script, how could they handle with it?

What is "absolute truth"? Okay, for example, money is just a paper, not really a money etc. But the problem is how can we (our family/kids) live without money? Can we?  Or don't our kids need go to those schools, even they are really stupid ("absolute truth") and cannot give our kids the true knowledge)?

As it's said, a mad man (schizophrenic) sees the same truth as the mystic. The difference is a schizophrenic is drowning while to mystics swims.

Yes, I SEE the same thing as you do. Yes, I might be a schizophrenic. I lost my faith many times. I used to die once. My wife cheated on me twice. I lost my house, car, all of my money, my job etc. and literally everything (I even had to go to court because the debt my ex left to me. I almost had to go to jail because I didn't have any money to pay.) I used to eat from a garbage bin once or twice. So, you are not alone. And I"m sure it's not only you and I. Our friends here can confirm that. Life has its problem. And everyone gets its share. The truth is, every spiritual person seems to get more than his/her share and that's the very reason why it makes them spiritual!

William James, a greasy psyhology said,

"Wherever you are it is your own friends who make your world."

It's also said in Buddhism that two factors to enlightenment are "good learning/practicing" and "good friends".
And it's my (spiritual) friends that brought my faith back.
Once I asked one of my spiritual friend how could she keep her faith, she replied:

"There are many spiritual practices that help me keep my faith, such as spending time in nature and making time each day for prayer and/or meditation. Another practice that helps me stay focused is to simply remind myself by asking myself, 'What are you living for?' When I am honest, I realize I am living for love--which to me has greatest meaning in a spiritual context."
 
I believe, what you need is spiritual friends. Someone who talks the same, or almost the same scripts as yours. And real friend is the one who dares to disagree with you, even it might not please you, if he/she seems it's not right to agree with you.

Here's a poem about friend that I like:  

The Arrow and the Song
By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.    

 
 


the symbolism, metaphor, allegory, phonetics etc. are IN EVERYTHING. implying a Dream World, Program or Gnostic Demiurge

i am NOT the scriptwriter or Dreamer either.  i am being forced on a script.

i have 2 minds now.  i can see that my avatar is scripted.  i am 'all spread out' now and undefineable.  i don't identify with my given name and history anymore as Bryan.

in other words my mind is a sieve and i type or talk without needing to think because my avatar is programmed/scripted.

i'm actually calm and peaceful most of the  time but the character/avatar is what is doing the talking and typing

i separate it into my TRUE SELF AND THE EGO CHARACTER ROLE AS BRYAN...2 minds

i don't need meditation because my head is almost always empty of thoughts

i am shown things and i have this need to write it down...

also...ego and false self are CONcepts of this 'world' that sure are useful to get you conforming to a script

why would the EGO or FALSE SELF take away the very things IT WOULD WANT ITSELF like housing and food etc?

sorry but that doesn't make sense. what is messing with me is WHAT SCRIPTS THIS WORLD AND ALSO SCRIPTS THE EGO IDENTIFICATION

THE THINGY THAT SCRIPTS THIS WORLD SCRIPTS ALSO THE EGO IDENTIFICATION OR FALSE SELF in my experience.

[mojomojo]

The most important decision we can make, is whether we live in a hostile universe, or a friendly universe.



Guess it all boils down to whether we believe the one holding the puppet strings, has our best interest at heart or not.
If approached with a logical mind, one might consider, not.
But then spirituality is not logical, is it, we have to leave our mind.
Guess that leaves us wide open.
We submit a lot of faith to something, we can never be sure of, its origins, it's interest in us.
And this faith balances on the rock of, well, if it does no harm, it must be good, and holding onto this, we make excuses for every hardship that comes our way, it's a lesson.
I read with interest an article on the origins of meditation, given that monks live in close proximity to one another, meditation was used as a means to keep their urges dampened (sexual, and anger), to keep them subdued, not sure how accurate that is, but it does make sense.
How then, did it turn into a gateway to other realms.
Looks like, no matter which choice we make, someone else holds the strings.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Monty,

It's so good to have you back. You have been missed. I loved what you wrote. It's clear, compassionate and understanding. I do hope inthemiddle Bryan sees it. I hope he can take something from what you wrote. Understand that other's do see/understand the world as he does, even if they express it differently. I really liked your analogies and the quotes, poems you've used to illustrate the explanation. 'Conventional and Absolute Truths'.

You and inthemiddle have spoken about the same thing, but the difference in how it comes over is that you speak about from a place of understanding and peace, and inthemiddle comes from a place of fear and anger. I do not see the world in the same way, though I have glimpses of it. And understanding enough not to get to sucked in by the illusion of life, and try to retain enough of my own individuality to express my own thoughts and ideas. Though I 'get' that much of what I say is probably parrot phrased from what I've read. And my conventional experiences. I strive to understand life more from the 'absolute truth' perspective. But, I don't interact well with those who are scathing of my 'to them' lack of knowledge and ignorance. It's a kind of reverse spiritual snobbery that we see in those who feel they have superior esoteric knowledge. I think they forget the one and for me most important spiritual truth - that Love is all there is. And along with love is that desire to show compassion for others - to serve, help in anyway they can.

I really loved what you wrote about your friend.

"Once I asked one of my spiritual friend how could she keep her faith, she replied:

"There are many spiritual practices that help me keep my faith, such as spending time in nature and making time each day for prayer and/or meditation. Another practice that helps me stay focused is to simply remind myself by asking myself, 'What are you living for?' When I am honest, I realize I am living for love--which to me has greatest meaning in a spiritual context."

And you said: "I believe, what you need is spiritual friends. Someone who talks the same, or almost the same scripts as yours. And real friend is the one who dares to disagree with you, even it might not please you, if he/she seems it's not right to agree with you." Your words are a reminder for all of us Monty, that we all need people around us who will love and support us. Keep us grounded, and yes disagree with us from time to time so we don't become stuck and closed off in our thoughts and beliefs. Not neccessarily to prove we are wrong, but to ensure we constantly question and be open to a wider, or different viewpoint and perspective. Not to change our own thoughts, simply to be aware that there are others. Because any belief can become fixed and rigid if it's continually held in isolation. As the old saying goes, 'no man/woman is an island'.

I am frustrated with myself because the minute he became angry and rude to Amy, he lost me. His anger made me angry. And as we all know, anger is the greatest barrier to communication. I still feel he was wrong to speak to Amy as he did. But perhaps I could have conveyed my disapproval in a more compassionate way. So a lesson there for me. We are an all faith spiritual group, which means having respect for the beliefs of others is the bedrock upon which this group is formed. It has to be, because of the diversity of cultural backgrounds and beliefs our members come from. We may not agree with what they say, or believe as they do. But we support and respect their right to believe and express themselves openly, without fear of ridicule, prejudice and abuse. I doubt very much that inthemiddle (Bryan) will be able to find such a safe and open-minded place to express himself, anywhere else on the internet or indeed in for want of a better word, 'the real world'. But that has to be recipricol. He is welcome here, as long as he remains respectful to others, even if he doesn't like what they have to say. It's not hard to express oneself without resorting to rudeness. If he wishes to be treated with respect, then he must give others the same consideration.

I hope we will see more of you on here Monty. You've really helped me put this back in the right perspective.

Love and light
Kaz

[sparklekaz]

Hi Robert,

I think you made a valid point when you said "But delving too deep into it, can achieve nothing, but cause an awful lot of fear and distrust in everyone and everything, which kind of feeds the machine." Which also goes along with what Amy said to Bryan "i follow some conspiracy theories myself i will not dwell on it as i know it can drive people literally insane, taking them further away from their own truth as a spiritual being by focussing on the controlling aspects of this mortal world (government etc.)"

I see this as the ego/id going into overdrive, over identifying with the self, rather than trying to rise above it and seeing life from a more spiritual perspective. I feel this is what Bryan has inadvertantly done to himself. It has become an obsession. He wants to be in control, master of his own thoughts, yet I feel he is in danger of losing this ability. I may be wrong, but it appears that his every thought is ruled, tainted by fear. If it were me I'd end up questioning everything I thought, constantly second guessing myself. Is this me, or is this the script. Yes, down that road leads to madness I think. It's compulsive thinking at it's worst. To be so caught up in this endless maze of over-analyzing everything, is truly terrifying. And as Amy said, it takes you further away from spiritual truth, not closer to it. The simple truth to me is, that it just 'gets in the way'.

Through my interest in dreams, I see that the unconscious or higher self uses symbolism all the time, as a way of trying to communicate 'absolute truths' that cannot be distorted by the conscious/rational/analytical aspect of the mind. The same rules could be applied to waking life. This is only my belief, but if this reasoning resonates with you, then can you see how doubting everything, and seeing everything as an illusion, might easily make you miss out on or be blinded to the core truths that do get through in this way. The ultimate ego/id trick or misdirection.

Robert said "There is nothing wrong with been aware of what is going on, but I wouldn't let it rule my life, you cannot beat the system, you cannot get out of the system, you are a part of it, at best you can only work it to whatever advantage you can." Exactly. We have to live in this world with all it's rules and expectations. If you don't want to be part of the system at all, then become self reliant. Or take yourself off toa remote regions of the world, where you can live in relative isolation. But wherever you go, where there is a group of people or society, no matter how primitive, there will still be social and cultural rules to observe. Without some code of conduct, I think we would live in absolute chaos. I suppose it's all about finding a balance that works for us as individuals.

Love and light
Kaz

[donq]

Hi Karen,

I have to confess that I didn't read this thread thoroughly. After I reread it again I've just saw what you said.
Yes, agree, Bryan was rude to Amylee. He should not do that.

Anyway, let me put it in a fictional way. A story of two spiritual friends, A and B.

A: Come on! Just this time. Can you listen to me just once?
B: Why do you always force me to listen to you? I think you yourself that have a problem, not me! I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!

A had a good heart. She wanted to help her friend. B only saw that A was trying to force him to see/believe in something he didn't want to. Or it might be too painful to believe/see?
And because everyone was so sensitive, then, friendship was broken!
Because almost all my life, I'm always misunderstood, so I kind of understand its pattern. The more A cared and wanted to help, the more B would think that she wanted to force his free will. On the one hand, if A didn't care, (or at least pretend to not care) then they might still keep their friendships. But didn't that become a fake friendship? On the other hand, isn't trying to force others' will the worst spiritual crime?

When it came to speaking, Buddha always did this: "Speak only true, right things that would benefit others. It doesn't matter if it would please other or not. But above all, (have to wait and) speak it only at the right time."
  

[mojomojo]

Hi Kaz,
Yes, I agree with everything you and Amy have said.
I, quite like a conspiracy theory myself, but am well aware, if you constantly feed on them, they will have detrimental effects.
The off putting result, can be that one is convinced, the whole set up is run by those of a negative nature, and this obviously leaves people with no where to go.
My saving grace on this is, if those of a negative nature were in control, wouldn't things be a lot worse than they are.