Dream.

[mojomojo]

Hi all,
I do not often remember my dreams, but I had this one, a few nights ago.
There was an old rotten, skeleton, carcass of a ship marooned on the beach.
I was climbing along its length to reach the front.
when I got there, I stood up on the flat nose bit.
Next, the ship started sinking into the sand, to the extent, I could casually step off on to the beach.

Anyone any idea's?

Robert.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Robert,

Dreams can have meaning on many levels. In dream symbology the boat represents your emotional self. In your dream the boat is but a shell a skeleton of it's former self. Literally this means a spiritual deadness. That on some level the dreamer is not fully in touch with their emotions, and that there is an element of unfulfillment. Sometimes we deaden our emotional responses because they have become at some point overwhelmed. By life and the experiences we go through. It can be a kind of self protection. Problems arise when having switched off our reactions and feelings to our circumstances that are emotionally painful. We become deadened to other things too. Trying to reconnect emotionally can be hard. Sometimes we need help to do this.

The boat rests marooned on the beach. Is this marooned as in abandoned, or marooned as in stuck? The beach represents the borderline or bridge between the conscious and unconscious. To stand on the beach enables you to pull if you wish, tremendous power from the sea. Sand is healing, grounding energy. I feel there is a sense of you having reached a point in your life when you are faced with some choices about the next step. You are either unsure, or feel held back. You stand poised, but uncertain, hesitant. You walk along the boat till you reach the front. Is this metaphorically standing on the prow or front/head of your ship? So for me this is connected to the head, mind. There is work that needs doing in this area. Things to be resolved. A situation or circumstance is holding you still.

The boat is sinking into the sand. This shows you have a strong connection to the earth and are well grounded. But, again there is a sense of you not moving forward, of being stuck. Only you know if this has any meaning or makes sense Robert. Emotionally you are in need of repair. You need to be kind to yourself. Do you feel that you meeting your own emotional needs? Sometimes peope who are always there for others, often neglect their own. This is only my interpretation of your dream Robert. So please only take which resonates with you and leave the rest.

Love and light
Kaz

[mojomojo]

Hi Kaz,
Thank you very much,
I was not expecting such a detailed response, but very good, thank you again.
Because of your accuracy, I will fill you in a bit, but I do not want to say too much, I'am sure you understand.
Some families not only have toxic parents, but their children also become that way, through no fault of their own, but by learning from said parents.
These families usually have a scapegoat.
This family is bonded together by denial, I do not do denial, therefore every time I go home, to a degree I have to play the game, or else cause them to face things as they are.
Some times, there are situations, where nothing can be done, if the truth was revealed, all would turn on the one revealing the truth, they would not want to face it, counsellors in these cases advise one to walk away and heal yourself.
I was under the impression I had dealt with things quite well, but going home for Christmas came up again, because it could very easily be my mothers last.
Entertaining going home brought up feelings up rage, aggression and anger, and I was not sure why, because I have been home regularly since she became ill, and had none of that.
But been the type of people they are, if they have nothing to gain from you, they couldn't care if you were there or not, maybe this is where the anger came from, bringing up old emotions, but I thought I had dealt with all that, I think the dream may have to do with my decision to go home or not, it was leaning towards not going, until Mary Anne's post, thank you for that Mary Anne, but when I booked the ticket, all the anger went away, and I'am back feeling calm, which tells me the decision was the right one.
So you were quite accurate Kaz, and I thank you again for such a detailed response, I was not expecting such, and Mary Anne, I want to thank you for your post, it helped me make a decision, I probably would not have, and would have regretted, probably to the end of my days, so I thank you both.


Robert

[sparklekaz]

Dear Robert,

Thank you so much for your feedback on the dream. It is difficult talking about personal matters, not just because of how it makes you feel, but also in consideration for the privacy of others. So I completely understand. But I thank you for your openness. I know from my own experiences, that anger and resentment for the past can stay with us. But with it is still the feelings of hurt and love too. For we do love our families. And that is why the wounds inflicted by them go so deep.

Feelings of rage and agression, all have their source in pain Robert. You say your suprised by it, because you've been home several times. Your wondering why now. I would say it is happening now, because you know your mum's time is drawing near. You may feel angry and cheated of the life the relationship you could have had with her. We can grieve for what we have never had just as much as we grieve for what we did have. Time is running out. It is the most natural thing in the world I feel, for you to be feeling as you do. It is all part of the grieving process. Which starts the minute we know or believe someone is going to die. Not as many believe when that person has gone.

I'm really glad you have made the decision to go home. It shows compassion and courage. Your compassion knowing it might be your mum's last christmas, is more important then any other feelings you have. This is also as much for your own sake as it is for your mum's. Because I truly feel if you had allow the negative to have kept you away, you would have bitterly regretted it further down the road. You are courageous, because you are going knowing that you could be putting yourself in a position to be hurt again by the attitudes and actions of others. Focus on just one thing. You are a son going to say goodbye to his mother. A bond that is very real and strong, no matter how toxic and disappointing the relationship became. Everything else is immaterial. My thoughts will be with you.

Love and light
Kaz

[mojomojo]

Hi Kaz,
Again thank you, for your input.
I think you are right about the anger, I was using transference, predicting scene's of conflict with certain family member's and the ensuing upset, as a justified reason for staying away, funny how the mind can play games with us, once the tickets were bought, all the anger ceased.
It might not be that comfortable, but is without doubt the right decision, and always pay attention to your dreams.
Again thank you for your input and time, it is very much appreciated.


Robert.