My Dream

[sparklekaz]

Hello everybody,

I thought for a change I would share one of my dreams with you, I would appreciate any feedback on this.

I do not remember it all, but a chunk of it, here it is..

I am stood on the dockside of a large harbour. There is a big naval vessel alongside. There are many people stood around waiting, and upon the ship there are sailors greeting family members.

I am waiting with someone, who I assume is meeting someone off the ship. We are talking and I tell them that I have not seen my older middle son for a long time and in fact I am not sure where he is.

As we are talking, someone says, there he is.. as I turn around I see my son, but it is not my son as he looks now, for this young man is Japanese. Or he is of mixed blood. Half Japanese half European. He is wearing a uniform, but both of his arms are missing below the elbow. I grab hold of him and hug him too me and I feel as if my heart is breaking in two. I can't describe the pain I feel. This wakes me up.

Even as I type this, I still feel the most intense feeling of sadness in my solar plexus. Also too in real life after trying repeatedly to get work, my son has decided to apply to join the army. He is 19 years old.

I then fall back to sleep again, and I am in a bedroom, lying in bed. This man comes into the room and older man, an Indian man. He says to me what did you do to your daughter's hair. Why did you cut it. It is against our culture. I tried to explain, I cut it only a little because she repeatedly refused to let me brush the tangles out. It was matted, and she was stubborn and would not let me do it. I had warned her many times, that if she didn't let me brush it, I would cut it. Having made the threat many times and not followed thru she didn't believe me. So to teach her a lesson, I cut it.

Now the odd thing about this second part of my dream, is that I actually did do this to my daughter when she was about 9, she is 24 now..so a long time ago..and this is the reason I gave to the man who questioned me in my dream.

Thats it, look forward to hearing your comments, I am hoping that sylvia sees this and interprets it for me, but I encourage others to have a go too..

Love and light
Kaz

[Floraloak]

Hi Kaz,

Very interesting... as I read this first part I got the feeling that this may be what I call a mixed dream... mixed in that parts of it may have to do with a past life... a mom waiting to meet her son coming home from the war... I find that often when ppl we know today look very different yet we know them as we know them today, we are replaying a past life event. Same roles, different actors type of thing... why does it come up for you now?... that answer didn’t come through till you said that now today in real life your son has applied to join the army... this obviously triggered an event that was very heavy for you to bear in a past life...

Best thing I can tell you to help resolve this is to meditate on the event from your dream... I’m sure you’ll get more information...

Also you might want to sit quietly and write a letter... let the mother of the past write to the mother you are today... and vice versa... have a dialogue ask questions of each other and answer the questions you can... you might even want to do this exercise with the son too... as you do this ... let your emotions flow... after the writing... you’ve heard me talk about this before... put it away for a day or two... then go back and read what you wrote... feel the emotions as you read it... then re read it.. over and over again until you can read it with no emotions... as if you are reading a research paper... ...

Once you can do this ... you have released the emotions attached to that past event... which in turn will allow you to deal with today’s event in a more positive manner... I’m sure the emotions you carried with you have now been awakened by your son’s choice... let go of the intense sadness attached to the past event... so that it doesn’t fester inside you as you deal with your son’s decision today... you know as do the rest of us... what we focus on we create... and even though we don’t focus on the things we don’t like on a conscious level... rather we try to stuff it and ignore it... if we are holding the emotions within us ... we are helping to feed our fear ... which really is the same as focusing on it...

Now, the second part... as I read this part with your daughter’s hair... it made me smile and think about my mother... lol... she did something similar to me when I was young...

The overall feel with this part is one of ‘control’ and ‘validation’ that age old dynamic between parent and child...the words that stick out are ‘teach her a lesson’... you didn’t cut it cuz it was the right thing to do or cuz it was good for her... you cut it ‘to teach her a lesson’... ironically all us parents end up doing things we normally wouldn’t do all in the name of ‘teaching our kids a lesson’... lol.. me included... but with my son it wasn’t his hair... I think that’s reserved for us girls ... so I’m sure many will identify with this...

Now for you... I feel that ‘to teach her a lesson’ might be an answer to a very personal question I’m sure you’ve been asking yourself about your daughter lately... regarding her health... the question is of course ‘why? Or why her?’ ... the answer is simply ‘to teach her a lesson’ ... it of course is not one that you yourself can teach her... this lesson comes from higher up...

We can also look deeper ... hair, specifically, ‘long hair’ is a symbol of strength... as in the story of Sampson and Delilah... once she cut off Sampson’s hair he lost his strength...this really stands out for me in view of the older Indian man saying to you that this is against our culture... so what to examine here is in what way are you impeding your daughter’s own strength... to deal with what she has to go through for her lesson? ... as a mother, I know it is not easy to let our children go through their own issues without us getting involved... we hurt for our children, we even bleed for them... but we cannot live for them... nor can we choose for them... we can only be there to give them support with the choices they make... even when we don’t agree with those choices... this part of the dream is basically telling you to be there for her ... which I know you are... but be careful not to get in her way... not to take her strength away from her... careful to in that she may inadvertently give you that strength... careful not to ‘enable’ her to give her strength away... sometimes we’re so eager to help, to be there for them, that they begin to depend on us... they become that child that needs the parent to make the decisions and of course we being parents get caught up in doing so... sometimes literally doing things so they (our children) don’t have to suffer... it’s a very fine line... her strength is her ability to choose and to love... but then you already know that so just take your time with her and what’s going on... and always take that step back and ask yourself are you supporting her... or enabling her...
As always, take what feels right and true in your heart and leave the rest... I hope this gives you some insight. Thank you for sharing, allowing, and trusting me to take a look at your vulnerability. It’s always an honour.

God bless,
Silvia

[sparklekaz]

Hi Sylvia,

Thank you so much for looking at my dream for me. I agree with you, to me it did feel like a past life dream too. I still find it hard to shake off that feeling, its like a deep ache in my stomach. As if I have awakened to a part of myself that was grieving. Sounds weird, as in the dream, my son did come back from the war. He was wounded, but he did not die. I often use to say, how I wish we could remember our past lives, especially in terms of knowing what karma we have accumulated, and what we can do to make good, or atone for past misdeeds, or mistakes. But since I had this dream, felt this deep sadness, it is obvious to me now, why we don't remember. I don't think we could bear it... to remember, those we have loved and lost. To feel again, the remorse, guilt and pain of past misdemeanors. Would be too much to bear, and I think it would cripple us in this life, making it impossible to live a normal life. To face again a familiar scenario and deal with it, unimpeded by what has gone before. When I ask myself, why am I so sad, apart from the obvious pain of dealing with my son in the dreams disability, I feel guilt. I failed him, my son. I could cry even now when I think of it. I will do as you suggest Silvia, and write that letter, because I think until I do, this feeling will weigh heavily within me.

The second dream, now I feel guilty about that, because, it does sound controlling doesn't it. At the time, I think I was thinking more about sticking to my word and following through, rather then showing I had the power to control her.

Even at the age of 9, Danielle had such a strong character, wow could she be stubborn. She was like that from the time she could talk. But I loved her strong sense of self, and I often wished I'd been more like her when I was little, instead of being nervous and worried about upsetting everybody. Not a trait, my daughter inherited from me, thank goodness..

I have to say, that at a time when most mothers start falling out with their daughters, age 13, my relationship with her actually improved. Because my mother had been very controlling, when I was a teenager, I was determined I would never put my own daughter through that. So I was quite relaxed about the whole teenage thing, remembering well how I'd felt. So I had a relationship with my daughter, where she felt she could tell me, pretty much nearly everything..lol and because of that, knowing what a strong character she was, I believe she didn't feel she had anything to rebel against, or prove to me.. .. I have to say though after I did cut her hair, I did feel really guilty..lol serves me right..lol

Do you know if it is actually against the culture in Indian religions to cut the hair of young girls? Would be interesting to find out.., wow, Silvia, maybe possibly two past life dreams in one night..what do you think?

I agree, as parents it is our job, to empower our children and not try to mould them into what we feel they should be or behave the way we feel they should behave. As I said before, my mum was very controlling, so I always have waited for my advice to be asked, and played more of a supporting role. But always supporting whatever they decided.

She is going to be going through a worrying time at the moment, but I feel that she will come through it ok. She did look tired when I saw her last, and I know she is anxious about it, and probably feels it that I am not closer by. But she knows I am there for her, and when she was here we gave her reiki. She knows and appreciates very much that she is on our healing list. So there is a lot of love and healing going her way.

Thank you again Silvia, so much for interpreting my dream, you have given me much to think about and some homework to do too..

Love and light
Kaz

[Floraloak]

Hi Kaz,

I'm glad it all made sense ... I had a few Indians in my circle of friends back home and I know that hair is very much treated with respect... It is a symbol of power and growth... and they usually only cut it when morning .... when they do cut it.. for whatever reason... they take great care to dispose of it in a ritualistic way... they give it back to the earth, or water, or some even burn it... if someone else was able to get a hold of your hair... they would possess part of your spirit... so... doesn't suprise me that you got scolded in the dream... lol.

With that being said... if you check out the history... one of the first things the catholic authorities did was to cut the hair of the men... so they too believe that strength is found in the hair... as in the sampson story... also, this theme seems to be prevailent in many other cultures around the world...

so I now have a question... just a general one for all of us to think about...have we all been disrepecting our hair?.. our source of strength... (inner strength/outer strength).... hmmm makes one think doesn't it?

God bless,
Silvia