not sure what i need!

[hunnyflower]

hello everyone

ive been everywhere possible with this problem yet it still is going on in my life.

Someone hurt me a few years ago. Yes I know - boo hoo - but I mean they really went over the top with what they did. It was my ex and he did everything but beat me. He lied so fluetly about everything. He got himself in trouble for something he swore he didn't do. If he could have cried blood to prove his innocence he would have done. I found out not only did he do this horrible crime but the money I had lent to him he spent and did everything to not give it back. I dont really want to go into too much detail but I am still SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO angry. He gets away with everything, and i mean EVERYTHING. He could rob a bank tomorrow and be caught yet somehow still walk away as not guilty. He told me has something put on him that stops him from getting in trouble or from bad luck or from ever having to pay the concequence for his actions and it seems to be true.

How does this happen? How does someone do so much horrible and mean stuff yet get away with it?

I wish I could find out if he did those things to deliberately hurt me or if he was just unwise.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Hunnyflower,

It sounds to me as if you have had a really difficult time. I know how frustrating it can be when you feel that someone who acts badly seems to constantly get away with it. But I am a great believer, in that 'what goes around, comes around'. Your ex partner may have been lucky up until now, but eventually, his actions and lifestyle will catch up with him.

For me, the most worrying thing, is that you are carrying all this anger and pain inside you and it is stopping you from moving on with your life. This man is no longer a part of your life now, but yet he is still affecting you. I don't know if you have children together and this is making it difficult for you to put your time with him behind you. But I believe that even if you do have a family together, you can still distance yourself from him.

While you still feel this emotional attachment to him, even if it is a negative one, you are holding negative energy inside yourself. This is having a detrimental affect on you, not your ex partner. If you don't let go of these feelings, in time they will make you ill as when negativity has no outlet, it will turn inward upon itself. Sometimes counseling can be a very useful way of talking through your feelings and learning about ways to cope with them that will diffuse their affect upon you. Don't allow your health and mental well being to suffer, nobody is worth that sacrifice. Start thinking now of yourself, what you need to be happy.

I cannot tell you why he behaved the way he did, whether it was intentional or not. You can only look at the affect his actions had upon you and how they made you feel. My advice to you would be to make a break from the past, by cutting your ties to this person emotionally and physically. Fill your life with new friends, new interests. Look to the future, for that is where your happiness lies.

I hope this helps hunny..take care and the best of luck.

Love and light
Kaz

[goddessleila]

Please let go of this anger, it wont be easy but it is not doing you any favours, and he will have to deal with Karma when his time comes, let the forces that be deal with it and let it go. Negativity breeds negativity my friend, i learned this the hard way, for many years i was ill with severe depression, it was like a bottomless pit. I had lots of help from the mental health team, but in all honesty the only thing that helped long term was starting being more positive and moving on from the bad things that had held me back since my early childhood, and young adult life.

Luckily for me i eventually found a wonderful healer and from having healing it progressed to me being interested and finding spiritual sites which i give thanks for, i learned so much from some wonderful people. I realised i am Empathic and pick up from other people and even from negative text and phone calls affect me, i learned how to ground and protect myself and it has made such a difference.

Yes i still get low moods but now they are just short little blips in my life. Please try to move on and leave it behind you, it doesn't affect your ex that your so upset and angry with him, so try to stop it disrupting your whole life, i know its not that easy but if you write down your feelings and thoughts, then burn them it is very empowering.

Anyother great tip i learned was to place a chair opposite to you, talk to the empty chair as if it were your ex, or whoever you need to talk to, tell them how it had affected you, let it all out, then move on and place your energy on other things, be them spiritual or other is up to you, i love to write i'm not the best writter in the world but it helps me, i put some of my thoughts into poems, you never know until you try my love it may well help you, what you got to loose? not much it seems, as your so caught up in the past, live for today hunnyflower, the past is the past, i wish you well, blessings x heavenly x