Ongoing dream interpretation soulmate

[lanalana111]

I’ve found myself here asking for insight because this has been eating away at me for years. When I was about 9 or so, possibly 8, I started seeing the same figure in my dreams. I could never see them, only sense their presence, but knew they were male for some reason. I began to see them in my dreams more than regularly, and as I began to grow older and my lucid dreaming and hallucinations caused by severe insomnia I began to grow close to this figure in my dreams as I could begin to physically feel them and be near to them. I was a lonely child with little friends so at first I never really thought into it just enjoyed and was amused by the same person appearing in my dreams, but as I grew into a young teenager and they were still there things started to become more profound. I’ve suffered from depression from early childhood, but it really surfaced and destroyed my life when I was around 11-16 years old, and the person in my dreams became someone I was desperate to see. I started seeing them as some sort of savoir and when I suddenly stopped seeing them in my dreams and haven’t since only on one or two occasions I became completely infatuated with them I almost drove myself crazy wanting to see them. It sounds strange but slowly I started to feel their presence instead, not on certain occasions but permanently. After years of thinking about them and feeling such as a strong connection to them I’ve realised in a way that makes me feel insane that they’re a part of me and always have been and not just because I knew them in my sleep and altered states. It goes deeper than that I just know it because I feel it. Is there a chance this person is truly my other half, my soulmate so to say because when I think of the idea that that is true and that we were separated in this life nothing has ever felt more certain to me. I can’t find them but I feel them and I have this feeling that they’re searching for me too but I’m a 19 year old girl with her life ahead of her and am being tormented by the fact that this figure, who I sense and feel and share myself with in ways I can’t explain because it’s just a natural sensation because I feel as if they’re connected to my soul so strongly, is really hurting my soul because they were torn out of it. In almost 80% of my dreams, he would die at the end of every single one of them, and each time the next dream it would have brought us closer but we’d both be weaker and before he disappeared from my dreams I was at one of my worse points and he theoretically too. Is there any chance this just enhances this idea that I lost him? I know I may be completely overthinking this but I can’t shake his presence the feeling I feel so profoundly. I’ve always felt lost in life but I’ve never felt model certain about this. Is there any insight anybody has, any similar stories? Any ways to cope knowing I may never find this person and that my soul will always be damaged? Above all does anyone have any idea what this could all be about aside from what I believe it to be about. I’m not a religious or hugely spiritual person so for me to be this wrapped up in something is bizzare and exhausting and I’d love some answers or help.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Lanalana,

I can tell from your words that this is important to you and believe you when you say it has had a profound affect on your life. Dreams can have meaning on more than one level. For example - literal, emotional, psychologically and spiritually. In dream symbolism, to see a male, on one level, can represent a woman's ideal mate. On another, whether she knows the person or not, there may be certain traits and characteristics of the person that stand out, which can have meaning to the dreamer. Issues to work on. Traits or strengths that would be helpful for them to emulate in waking life.

There is another meaning behind seeing a male in your dreams, and that is connected to the energy of male and female, Yin and Yang. It is believed that all human beings have within them, regardless of their gender, male and female energy. That if it is a woman dreaming, then the dream is asking the dreamer to try to bring forth more of the so called masculine traits, such as assertiveness, ambition and drive. As opposed to the more nurturing female traits of caring and compassion. And though you don't go into more detail about the context in which your dream companion was appearing, as this too has meaning symbolically; his presence as a recurring element does have meaning. For recurring dreams represent an important message that the dreamers unconscious or higher self is trying to convey to them.

Intuitively I believe that this male figure is a spirit guide. To explain a little about spirit guides. You may have heard the more commonly used term Guardian Angel used by people, to describe an evolved being, sometimes angelic presence who watches over them throughout their lives. But there are other guides who accompany us throughout our life journey who fulfill other more specific tasks. As mentors, teachers. Spirit who come to us at different times at our lives to fulfil a purpose. Whether it is to gently nudge you in a better direction, if you have gone astray, or off your life path. To help when you are in trouble, or to aid in the development of a particular spiritual gift. Some of these spirit guides are with us for a short time, others stay longer, and then there is your Guardian Angel, who is with you throughout your life. I believe that your dream companion could be your Guardian Angel.

You have described how lonely you felt as a child, and how comforted you were by this beings presence. It is understandable to see how you would have become dependent on their presence, and upset when as you grew older you experienced it less. It then became a psychological need. And might explain why this presence stopped. As spirit do not want us to become dependent upon them, or develop an attachment that might impede that person from going on a developing close relationships with others. They would not want to 'get in the way'of that. I believe you have as an adult, with an adults mind and imagination and need, fleshed out this relationship into something more than in reality it actually is, as a way of helping you cope with your feelings of loneliness and isolation. I say this with love and compassion. As I would not want to hurt your feelings for the world. I am simply giving my own perspective on this. So please if it does not resonate with you or feel right, ignore it.

To die in a dream can represent a dying to one aspect of life or the end of a cycle, and the beginnings of a new one. We are constantly changing and growing. So though distressing it is quite a natural part of the growth process. If you feel weak in a dream, it can indicate that in your waking life you feel weak, low in energy, and powerless, which anxiety and depression can evoke. In your waking life then, as now, felt a lack of control over the direction in which your life was going? It may be that you felt others had that control, and felt unable to do anything about it. Feelings of powerlessness over a situation can create a deep anxiety within, that will over-spill into our dream life. And so it is often in our dreams, that feelings we might suppress in our waking time will bubble up to the surface and use the symbolism of our dreamscape to grab our attention in the most vivid and often unusual way.

There is also another explanation, which I do not believe to be what is happening to you, but just something to consider or be aware of. And that is that you are a very sensitive person and able to see, sense or feel spirit. Not the higher spiritual beings we spoke of earlier, but for want of a better word ordinary spirit people. As a child, was this male a child like yourself and grew as you did. Or have you always seen or felt his presence to be as an adult male. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being aware of spirit, indeed it is a special gift. However, if at any time you the interaction between you makes you feel depressed and anxious. Or you are told to behave in a negative way, either towards yourself or others then it is a negative interaction and not of the light. Which the majority of spirit interaction is. If this ever happens, then you must tell the spirit to leave and be very firm about it. As the only power to interact, primarily comes from you. Spirit interaction should be helpful and uplifting. Or they have come to convey an important message for the higher good. If it ever makes you feel depressed or afraid then you should stop interacting immediately.

I hope this helps Lanalana. Or at least has given you something to think about. I hope others respond to you with their thoughts on this. It is nice to see you posting on the forum.

Love and light
Kaz