handle with two opposed ideas

[donq]

George Bernard Shaw said,

“There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.”

And Oscar Wilde said,

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

No need to find who said it first because (it’s said) they were close friends. Anyway, both of them sounded very Buddhists to me.

In Buddhism, there are three main things that bring dukkha (suffering) to us (just a bit mention, don't worry, I'm not going to preach here) :

1. Craving for sensual pleasure; sensual craving
2. Craving for existence
3. Craving for non-existence

As for 1, no need for more explanation here. You’ve got an idea.
As for 2, craving for existence means wanting to have/be. And when one doesn’t have what one wants; cannot be who/what one wants to be, then s/he suffers.
About craving for non-existence is contrary to craving for existence. One already got what one doesn’t want or already has been who/what one doesn’t want to be, then s/he suffers.

I read somewhere (cannot recall it now) about old and young. A young man complains that he wants to be like a car, can go anywhere he wants, not only goes straight on the railway all the time. While an old man complains that he wants to be like a train as he is too tried to turn away from the main line. It’s a lot more easy to goes only on the railway that’s already been there.

So, as Hamlet said, “To be, or not to be: that is the question”? :-)

I don’t know. But I like what F.Scott Fitzgerald said, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”

Yes, whether you are old or young, you have to cope with these two kinds of cravings: for existence and non-existence. We cannot get what we want all the time. Neither do we can get rid of what we don’t want. How we still keep going so well, that’s counted.

As an old man myself, I’m thinking of this story:

An old man, listening to the pitter-patter of rain, thought of both the melancholy and joyous sounds of storm. He thought of the inconvenience of traveling in inclement weather and the life-giving moisture the rain brings. He remembered that, to some, this is a source of annoyance; but it is essential for all growing things. As his mind flowed to these confluences of sound and thought, he recalled something his father told him as a child. “There is sadness in beauty,” the father said, “when you understand that, you will no longer be a boy.”

[sparklekaz]

Hi Monty,

Very interesting post and one I can relate too. I know from my own experience, particularly when younger, the desire to have something, all attention focused on it. Then getting what I want, it is either not what I thought it would be, or I am still left yearning for something more.

I think we all have the desire to improve ourselves. Whether it is on an intellectual level or in our material circumstances. An example that stands out for me. I know it might sound a silly one to you, but bear with me. Years ago, I had an old settee and chairs. They were extremely comfortable but they were second hand when I got them, and looking a little shabby and worn. I just felt I had to have a new one. I went on about it for ages, how nice it would be, how smart the home would look with my new suite. Eventually I got my way. They cost a lot of money. Looked beautiful. But.. they were so uncomfortable. I missed my old sofa and chairs so much, but they were gone. I was full of regret. I felt frustrated with myself. I'd spent money that I could not really afford, to get something I was determined I wanted and needed. When really I could have gone on for years with what I had. I learned a lesson from this. Getting what you want is not always a blessing. Didn't someone else say that.

I wonder why it is that was as human beings always seem to struggle with this desire to have and becoming disatisfied so easily. We want instant gratification, and seem to have a low boredom threshold. This never seeming satisfied can cause so much inner unhappiness in many area's of our lives. Why is it, that things rarely turn out as we think it will. Why do we get it wrong so often. How I wish I had a 'crystal ball'. We could all do with one. Being able to look into the future and see how things really turn out, would be so useful, wouldn't it. As I've got older, thank god, I am not longer so shallow or so impulsive. Impulsivity has been a bain of my life on and off for a long time. We are supposed to grow out of it, but many rarely do if they are honest. I've learned the hard way through various lessons, that it's a trait that has never brought me any real happiness. I try to find my way along the middle path. To be in the present. For I think it's this always running ahead of ourselves into the future that causes so much trouble.

Love and light
Kaz

[gruntal]

Reading about the allegory on trains made me ears perk up. Because this time it is NOT anything figurative. Last Saturday at the museum was members only night operations. The hot and humid weather is devastating to me but I so longed to hear and feel that wonderfull experience of going down the track in an electric railway vehicle. I dragged myself there and staggered onto a trolley and off we went!

The kids and mothers tried their hand at operations and did a fair to poor job of it; some did horrible. Although I had never operated that particular street car before I did so and had no trouble at all making smooth starts and stops. Come 9:00 PM and time to put the railroad to bed and I operated the car one more time before everything was shut down. Didnt even think much about the controls by that time. I did think about how the museum had changed since I first came there in 1962. I remember talking to the guy that actually bought and paid for that Pacific Electric car out of his own pocket book. Back then we had a short lenght of trackage to operate on (when the cars weren't derailing) and a noisy marginal diesel electric powerplant; now we have a magnificant straight main line and an industrial grade solid state substation for the 600 VDC that we salvaged from a local mine operation.

Alas they told me NOT to ring the bell or operate the car so fast. Killjoys! Too many neighbors too late at night. The origonal owner of that car has passed away. Some of the equiptment that I remember as a kid over the years has been destroyed. So much progress amid some defeat. What started as a club now seems more like a business sometimes. Is that how it was suposed to turn out?


Yeah of course it was. Everything had to grow up. Now we even get monetary grants! But back then - the early 1960's - we didnt even have indoor plumbing. Well we could run the trolleys at the 5th notch and blow the whistles all night! Such fun!

When they weren't derailing ....

[donq]

Hi Gruntal,

I still had a chance to see and take an (old style) tram. But they were all gone from my country for almost 50 years now.
And I went to a amusement park only a few times in my life. I tried a roller coaster only once. And that was more than enough for me. I didn’t think I was a coward but this kind of amusement really scared me.

[donq]

Hi Kaz,

As for me, I used to have problem with spending my money (more than I should) on buying books (with the amount of that money I could even buy a car. )

You wrote:
I wonder why it is that was as human beings always seem to struggle with this desire to have and becoming dissatisfied so easily. We want instant gratification, and seem to have a low boredom threshold.



Good questions and very true! For example, when it comes to fried eggs, I always have a very high boredom threshold. I can eat it everyday, not for a week but for a few months. I can change from putting sausage, tuna, bacon, vegetable etc. into it. But crispy is always the key. And it goes along so sell with ketchup. Unfortunately, it still becomes less and less yummy finally. And boredom threshold becomes low.
Whenever I saw a very old husband and wife, I was smiling in my mind. I really admire them. I knew that it was not "love" that had bound them together for that very long time (more than 40 years of their marriage). At least not definition of “love” that most people think/know. It has nothing to do with “chemistry, sex, appearances, solidity (or even their kids) etc.” Because all of those have low boredom threshold. They change rapidly. Always.
I think maybe the better word is “understanding”? They “understand” each other so well. And their understanding has no boredom threshold. That is so spiritual to me.