Post by sparklekaz on Jul 16, 2014 12:14:32 GMT
Self belief is a quality that confident, positive people have in bucket loads. They are often individuals, who have grown up within a warm and loving environment. Their abilities and good qualities praised and nurtured from a very early age. Sadly, not everyone is fortunate enough to have had such a good start in life. Indeed, quite the opposite may have occurred. Neglected, unloved and sometimes abused. For these people, believing in themselves and having a healthy sense of self worth can be very hard. They may have been told many times, that they were unlovable, stupied and worthless. Many of us fall somewhere in between these two extremes; And whilst we do have some sense of self worth and belief, there is always room for more.
So how do we start to improve our own sense of self love, self worth and self esteem? I believe a good place to start, is through self understanding. Recognising that the thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves are more often then not, based on how we believe other people see us, rather then what we truly think of ourselves. Particularly, if we have rarely been praised or had positive reinforcement about our abilities. Though some people might say, we do not need the validation of others to feel good. In truth, I think we do. It is a rare person indeed, who is that self confident, that they have no need for some recognition of their skills, talents and physical attributes, to feel good about themselves.
To cultivate a stronger sense of self and self belief in your life. Sit down and think about yourself, as if you were thinking about another person. If you were asked to describe YOU, to someone else. What would you say? Just this once. Don't immediately focus on what you perceive to be your negative qualities. Ask yourself - Are you a good person, loving and kind? Are you a loyal friend and trustworthy? Do people come to you with their problems and listen to what you have to say? Do you have a good sense of humour, often making other people laugh, forgetting their troubles in your company, if only for a little while? At work, are you one of those people who works quietly in the background. Just getting on with their job. Not seeking attention, but a vital part of the team that ensures everything runs smoothly? There are lots of other things you probably do that add up to a great person. But to you, they go unnoticed.
People who are lacking in confidence, often find this exercise difficult to do. Because they are so inwardly focused on other people; their physical attributes, qualities and talents. That they find the whole concept of thinking about themselves in the same way as strange. Unless of course it is to compare themselves to others. Often seeing themselves in an inferior light. And yet, if you think about it. The happiest people, are not always the most beautiful, the most talented or rich. They are the ones who exude an inner confidence, because they truly like the person they are. They don't feel the need to compare or compete with other people. They do what makes them feel fulfilled, interested and happy. This kind of person is often really lovely to be around. Because they feel good about themselves. Just by being in their company we often end up feeling good about ourselves too.
It is often all to easy to fall into the trap of assuming, we are the only ones in the world who suffer from a feeling of inferiority about something. The truth is, everyone does. But the difference is, some people do nothing but focus on those feelings, while to others, it does not dominate their lives; they can keep it in perspective. For example. Someone might think their nose is too big. But they also believe they have nice eyes and skin. They acknowledge what they think is a problem, but don't dwell on it. The move on to thinking about something else that boosts their inner confidence. I believe there is no such thing as an ugly or stupied person. Everyone has a talent or gift. No one is ugly. Because true beauty shines from within. Appreciating the blessings of your life, seeing the good in life. Will show in your face and personality. You will glow from the inside out. In the words of The Buddha "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection". This also goes for self belief. When you believe in yourself, everyone around you will too.
Love and light
Kaz
So how do we start to improve our own sense of self love, self worth and self esteem? I believe a good place to start, is through self understanding. Recognising that the thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves are more often then not, based on how we believe other people see us, rather then what we truly think of ourselves. Particularly, if we have rarely been praised or had positive reinforcement about our abilities. Though some people might say, we do not need the validation of others to feel good. In truth, I think we do. It is a rare person indeed, who is that self confident, that they have no need for some recognition of their skills, talents and physical attributes, to feel good about themselves.
To cultivate a stronger sense of self and self belief in your life. Sit down and think about yourself, as if you were thinking about another person. If you were asked to describe YOU, to someone else. What would you say? Just this once. Don't immediately focus on what you perceive to be your negative qualities. Ask yourself - Are you a good person, loving and kind? Are you a loyal friend and trustworthy? Do people come to you with their problems and listen to what you have to say? Do you have a good sense of humour, often making other people laugh, forgetting their troubles in your company, if only for a little while? At work, are you one of those people who works quietly in the background. Just getting on with their job. Not seeking attention, but a vital part of the team that ensures everything runs smoothly? There are lots of other things you probably do that add up to a great person. But to you, they go unnoticed.
People who are lacking in confidence, often find this exercise difficult to do. Because they are so inwardly focused on other people; their physical attributes, qualities and talents. That they find the whole concept of thinking about themselves in the same way as strange. Unless of course it is to compare themselves to others. Often seeing themselves in an inferior light. And yet, if you think about it. The happiest people, are not always the most beautiful, the most talented or rich. They are the ones who exude an inner confidence, because they truly like the person they are. They don't feel the need to compare or compete with other people. They do what makes them feel fulfilled, interested and happy. This kind of person is often really lovely to be around. Because they feel good about themselves. Just by being in their company we often end up feeling good about ourselves too.
It is often all to easy to fall into the trap of assuming, we are the only ones in the world who suffer from a feeling of inferiority about something. The truth is, everyone does. But the difference is, some people do nothing but focus on those feelings, while to others, it does not dominate their lives; they can keep it in perspective. For example. Someone might think their nose is too big. But they also believe they have nice eyes and skin. They acknowledge what they think is a problem, but don't dwell on it. The move on to thinking about something else that boosts their inner confidence. I believe there is no such thing as an ugly or stupied person. Everyone has a talent or gift. No one is ugly. Because true beauty shines from within. Appreciating the blessings of your life, seeing the good in life. Will show in your face and personality. You will glow from the inside out. In the words of The Buddha "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection". This also goes for self belief. When you believe in yourself, everyone around you will too.
Love and light
Kaz