what's the substle reason behind crying?

[baangus]

Jul 8, 2014 14:40:41 GMT @alena said:

When I'm in crowd I try to stop my tears but I can't bear them more than thirty seconds.

Hi alena. You cry when you're in a social setting involving many people, is that what you mean? Does it only happen when you're in a crowd, or does it happen when you're with one or two or a few individuals?

There are a couple of things I can maybe say here, although I don't know if it will be of any help. As one progresses along the conscious spiritual path, physical changes can take place. One might become more sensitive to food, to sound or noise, etc. I myself find it difficult to be in a room with people and their energy, it tires me very quickly. And I'm someone who used to perform on stage when younger. It could be crowds of people have a similar effect on you, except it manifests emotionally in the form of tears. Like all things, the key to transforming anything is awareness. Once you become aware of something like this, and how and why it affects you, you can begin to control it to a degree. I for example don't spend my energy in crowds anymore, I no longer even eat in restaurants for example. And when I do choose to be in a social setting, it's always one I think will be comfortable enough for me to be in for a bit of time.

Also, there is something called the gift of tears that you might want to read up on. Spontaneous tears can be an indication of spirit 'flooding' through us. Like a lot of spirit phenomena, it's something that one might just have a difficult time controlling. And that's because it's something outside, working through the individual. And this phenomenon can manifest in many ways, including being incredibly sensitive to situations that bring up feelings of sadness and empathy. Or one might begin weeping at the thought of how incredibly beautiful the universe is.

[donq]

Hi alena,

Sorry for my interruption (while you are waiting for baangus’s answer.)

Can I ask you some tough questions, on the basis that you are a very smart girl (you are a girl, right?) and you seem to know a lot about spirituality, will that be ok with you?

You already heard about “Occam's razor”, right? It states that among many hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected. As more complicated solutions may ultimately prove correct, but—in the absence of certainty—the fewer assumptions that are made, the better.

In the other words, sometimes, it’s better to ask the simplest question to get the best answer.

Anyway, as this is a public forum, you can ignore any of my questions (or even all of them) if you feel uncomfortable to reply. It’s ok, I understand.

1. How’s your relationship with your mother? Why doesn’t she like you? (or vice versa)
-Again, I have to stress that this is the question from an adult to another adult. My mother doesn’t like me much. That’s the truth. Not because I’m a Wednesday’s child (and always think like a Wednesday’s child) but it's just because I cannot make money for her as much as my two brothers do. Yes, I still give her my money from time to time, whenever I can, but that doesn’t change the fact that she still prefers more and more money.

2. Does you father share your feeling about your mother?

3. Why, sometimes, you seem to trying to run away from something? If so, what is it?

4. Why are you interested in spirituality? What was the turning point?

Thanks for your answers.

P.S. All of my questions above are my effort to understand and help you. Let me quote from kaz here, “Don't self sabotage future chances of happiness, through believing that you don't deserve to be happy.” You deserve to be happy, too, alena. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.

[donq]

Hi alena,

Thanks for your answers. Believe me, I know they were tough questions, and you didn’t need to answer them at all but you still did. And I apologize if they were so tough/personal questions. I’m kind of having a bad habits about this. Too old to correct it. Hahaha.

I believe that though life is difficult but also a miraculous journey. From time to time, miracle happens just after we saw or talked to someone (or listen to them.) Sometimes, when I was down, and I saw others struggling their lives, suddenly I felt that I was not alone. Somehow my self pity was gone and realized that my trouble was so little comparing to someone else. Many parents with very low incomes who have many kids to feed. Many upcountry children who are starving (not to mention lack of education) etc. But there’s still a miracle in life. Always. They still can laugh and be happy. This is a miracle of life that I’ve learnt.

[baangus]

It sounds like your colds are perhaps a result of stress and anxiety, which results in a weakened immune system. Check the internet for ways to strengthen your immune system. I take echinacea in liquid form whenever I feel under the weather; I haven't had the flu or even a cold in the ten years I've done this. But I've also eliminated that which was causing stress in my life years ago, which is also very important although it's not always possible for everyone.

Kundalini I know every little about, but what I've repeatedly heard is that people can and do experience problems. Imagine sticking your finger in a power socket, and having to adjust to living with this electrical current continually surging through your body. I've heard it can cause major disturbances to one's emotional, mental and psychic life. It's usually recommenced that Kundalini students seek out guidance and assistance when working with this energy. Kundalini experience is happening spontaneously now as our world awakens to spirit. I feel it's one of the reasons why life is so difficult and confusing for so many people these days. They're having spontaneous awakenings and opening to spirit, and they're not even aware of it.

I enjoy reading and responding to your posts alena. The most important thing in all this is your outlook. Very few people understand that life is a true miracle. The universe is entirely benevolent. These are the spiritual realizations that can carry you through any difficulties that come along in life. Once one comes to these soul realizations and revelations, it becomes impossible to ever lose faith and hope. That's been my experience.

[baangus]

Practical things to do: If you are in a living situation that you cannot change, then change the way you participate. First and foremost, set boundaries. Sit down with the person and say, "This is me, this is who I am, you can disagree with my life choices but I still expect you to treat me kindly and with respect." Also, consider discussing specific issues in-depth, such as why it is you choose to eat alone. You don't explain in order to ask the other to change; you do it to assert your self and take your power back, so that you can clear the air and be comfortable, and eat your meals in peace. This your life and these are your choices, and nobody has the right to treat you badly or make you feel less than the perfect person you are. It's an unfortunate aspect of life, but we sometimes have to confront unconscious people in this way.

Spirits and guides: I have had a voice speak to me and guide me, so I'm aware of that reality. I explain it in my own way, other people would call them spirit guides. I don't seek out this guidance, so setting out to contact and work with guides isn't something I know much about. The reason I don't dabble in that is because I understand that opening one's self up in this way can allow various entities and voices to enter. And that's not something I'm interested in. I do though work with what I call my higher self, I've had many conscious experiences of this connection. That I do use as a guide in my life.

[baangus]

Jul 9, 2014 14:51:49 GMT @alena said:

So I was asking you about ,is there any technique, or what you do always when you feel and pick up other's garbage? Or not able to tolerate others' voices?

Two articles on spiritual grounding and shielding:

healing.about.com/cs/uc_directory/a/uc_groundewing3.htm
www.vishwaamara.com/spiritual-practices/spiritual-shields-part-1/

When we raise our vibrational level, it is easier to "connect" with the Divine, to see our life purpose, to be guided by our inner wisdom and outside sources of inspiration, but we also become much more susceptible to being "blown away" by others with raw, unconscious energy, both by individuals who may be focusing on negativity or in group situations. That makes grounding, centering and shielding of utmost importance if we want to stay on the spiritual path.

My own path is more practical. I stay grounded by being very conscious of my lifestyle and my diet, and making day-to-day choices that help me maintain my mental and emotional balance. I spend a lot of time day-dreaming by the ocean, and one of those grounding  exercises above has to do physically connecting with nature: pressing your base chakra against against a tree or rock. So I guess my practical is also spiritual (which I already know, ha-ha!).

Best "spiritual exercise" to stay grounded in my opinion? Qi gong. Or maybe yoga if that's more your style.

[sparklekaz]

Hi Alena,

Personally I believe tears can be very cathartic. A healing release of pent up emotions and stress. You sound a very sensitive young lady, who feels things very intensely and deeply. I think when we are young this is normal. As we grow older, we develop a thicker skin, or become desensitized to situations that would have once caused us to become upset. Or people suppress their emotions, which long term can be harmful to our health. Because unreleased emotional pain can often turn into a mental or physical illness.

I know when I cry, I feel better afterwards, and I am sure you do too. Even though the problems may still be there. I would say though, that frequent bouts of crying can be linked to depression. It sounds as if you have an emotional and at times volitile relationship with your mum. I can tell you care about her, but find her demands upon you difficult to cope with and so try to run away from her. This of course will only make her chase you harder. Somehow the roles in this mother, daughter relationship have reversed, and she comes to you for reassurance and attention. Inside, she must be feeling insecure and scared. I have found that looking for the reason why someone behaves as they do, is often helpful in dealing with the affects of what they do. If that makes sense. Have you tried talking to her about how she makes you feel?

From what you have said Alena, she is not well physically, maybe her illness is also affecting her mental state. I would suggest you talk to your Dad about the situation, and explain how unhappy and stressed it makes you feel. Maybe some form of counselling may help. For both of you, or all of you as a family. I would talk to your doctor about it. It would be a shame if your familial relationships broke down, as families all need each other. You have your course to think of and this situation will not help you concentrate. Pointing this out to your Dad may be an incentive for him to do something about his wife's behaviour. Particularly if he is made to see it could have a detrimental affect on your exams and studies, as well as your own emotional/mental wellbeing.

You are clearly very empathic and sensitive to energy. It is important that you learn to protect yourself energetically. I like to use the visualization of being encased in a light bubble. Sometimes I imagine it hardening like an egg. Along with this visualization I ask that within this light I am protected from all negative energy, thoughts and attachments. I find this helps me a lot. You might find it helpful too.

Love and light
Kaz

[sparklekaz]

Aww Alena.. I am so glad you two have talked. You have such a joyful attitude to life and are clearly appreciative of all that you have. I'm sure your words must have given her a lot of comfort. It is lovely to for you to share with her your interests. Maybe meditating or spending time quietly would be something she herself might like to try at some point. But the wonderful thing is that this is something you can talk about together.

She may also like reading some uplifting and inspirational books. The important thing is to take her mind away from her illness and whatever fears she may have and focus it on something that goes beyond the physical body. Something to nurture and comfort her spirit.

Love and light
Kaz

Communication is always the way forward I've found.