Joined: Jan 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1,722 Location: England
Love Without Conditions « Thread Started on Jan 10, 2007, 4:09pm »
You have learned conditional love from people whose love for you was compromised by their own guilt and fear. These have been your role models. You need not be ashamed of this. You need only be aware of it as a fact.
From the time you were an infant, you were conditioned to value yourself only when people responded positively to you. You learned that your self worth was established externally. That was the fundamental error, which has perpetuated itself throughout your life.
Your parents’ experience was no different from yours, nor was your childrens’ experience. All of you need to heal from the same wounds. All trespasses/violations must be made conscious and the emotions attached to them must be released. This is the way that all wounded beings move from the experience of conditional love to the experience of love without conditions.
In the process of healing, you learn to give yourself the unconditional love you never received from your biological parents. And in this process you are “born again,” and reparented, not by other authority figures, but by the Source of Love inside yourself.
Learning to give love to the wounded person within begins to reverse your belief that your self worth must be based on how others respond to you. Slowly you retrain yourself to value yourself as you are, here and now, without conditions. No one else can do this for you. People can assist and encourage, but no one can teach you how to love yourself. That is the work of each individual soul.
Each soul comes into physical experience intent to grapple with these issues of self-worth. However, very early on in the soul’s sojourn here conditions are placed on its natural ability to love and include others in its experience.
Reversing these conditions is essential. If the soul leaves the physical world believing that it is the victim of its experience here, it will be drawn back again to unlearn that belief. However, if the soul awakens to the truth that its worth is not dependent on anything or anyone outside its mind or experience, it will establish itself in the Source of Love and awaken from the dream of abuse.
Awakening from abuse means rejecting the illusion that you are not lovable as you are. You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions.
Your attempt to find love outside yourself always fails, because you cannot receive from another something you haven’t given to yourself. When you withhold love from yourself, you attract others into your life who are doing the same thing.
The experience of unconditional love begins in your heart, not in someone else’s. Don’t make your ability to love yourself conditional on someone else’s ability to love you. Don’t place your faith in the conditions that surround love or in the form in which it presents itself. For these are impermanent and subject to the vicissitudes of every day life.
Real love does not change. It exists independently of the form through which it expresses. The Source of this eternal, omnipresent, formless Love is within you. This is where your faith must be placed, for this Love is as certain as anything you will ever know. And once It is firmly established in your heart, you will never need to look for happiness outside of yourself.
People will come and go in your life. Some people will treat you well. Others will treat you unkindly. You will accept the love that is there and see lack of love for what it is, a cry for help from one who is hurting. You will encourage others to find the Source of love within as you did, knowing fully that you cannot fix their problems. The tragedy of their lives can only be addressed by their willingness to look within their own hearts and minds.
One who loves without conditions places no limits on his freedom nor on anyone else’s. He does not try to keep love, for to try to keep it is to lose it. Love is a gift that must constantly be given as it is asked for in each situation. And the giver always knows when and to whom the gift is to be given.
There is nothing complicated about the act of love. It only become complicated when one starts to withhold love, and then it ceases to be love that one offers.
One who loves himself is not afraid to be alone. For being alone is an opportunity to love and accept himself ever more deeply. If his lover rejects him, does he feel unworthy? Does he pity himself and withdraw from the world, or bury himself in the search for a replacement? No. He simply continues breathing and extending his love at each step in his experience.
One who loves himself unconditionally does not love in degrees or with strings attached. He does not search for someone special to love. He loves everyone who stands before him. One person is no more worthy or unworthy of his love than another. This is kind of love that is being born in you now, my brother and sister. This is the kind of love that I offer you and that I ask you to extend to others.
It is very clear. You cannot misunderstand what I am saying to you. Love can only exist between equals. Love can only exist between beings who have learned to love and value themselves internally.
Love takes no hostages. It makes no bargains. It is not compromised by fear. Indeed, where love is present, fear with all its myriad conditions cannot be.
I encourage you to be honest, my friend. What you know of love is not the kind of love I am describing. The kind of love I am describing is absolutely terrifying to you!
Why is this? Because the experience of Real Love ends your experience of the conditional world. When you experience It, you no longer feel separate from others. You lose every aspect of your identity that pushes others away. You open to a larger reality that you create with others through mutual trust. Judgment falls away and acceptance rules.
“I’m not afraid of that,” you say. But consider it please. Be honest with yourself and with me. You ARE afraid of that, because it ends this dream and the only way your ego knows to end the dream is to die. So please recognize your fear of love, your fear of death, your fear of annihilation.
I have said “lest you die and be born again you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.” When I said this I was not talking about reincarnation. I was talking about the death of the ego, the death of all beliefs that separate you from others. I was talking about the end of judgment.
What dies is not you. What dies is everything that you thought you were. Every judgment you ever made about yourself or anyone else. That is what dies. And what is born again is full of light and clarity. It is the Christ that has eternal life, in you and in me.
I tell you, my brother and sister, your resurrection is at hand. And you are afraid of it! You cannot fool me. I see you trembling, on your knees, looking up at the cross where you will soon be lifted up to pay for your sinful thoughts and acts. Do not deny your fear or I will not be able to help you.
What dies on the cross is not you. You are not the body. You are not your fearful thoughts. All this can and will die. If not now, it will happen later. You cannot avoid the death of the ego. You cannot avoid the death of the body. But these are not necessarily the same. Do not make the mistake of believing that your ego dies when your body does, or that your body dies when your ego does.
Your ego dies when you no longer have use for it. Until then, it will not be taken from you. You can hold onto you ego almost forever, but you will not do this. For this is hell forever. There will come a time when the pain will be overwhelming. There will come a time when you will call out to me “Jesus. Please help me. I am ready to let go.” That time comes for every being, I assure you.
Until then, all you can do is walk through your fears. Acknowledge every fear you have and turn each one over to me. “Jesus, I am afraid to die … Jesus, I am afraid that God will abandon me.” Let your fears come up and turn them over. That will quicken your awakening. That will take you directly to your core issues, to the fear beyond all your fears. Rest assured, when you come to that place, I will stand beside you.
Gentle brother and sister, I ask only for your trust. Give it to me and we shall walk together out of this place of shadows. I cannot protect you from facing your fears, but I can take your hand as you do so. Rest easy. The outcome of your journey is guaranteed. Where I am now, you shall also be. And then you will know with absolute certainty that Love is who you are. It has neither been born in you nor has it died in you. It is inseparable from you. It is you only Identity. By Paul Ferrini
I thought I would give you one more taste of this author as his words are so powerful.
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #2 on Jan 25, 2007, 7:01pm »
Unconditional Love is allowing. It is about loving yourself wholly and truly for being the completely unique and precious person that you are. It is about accepting and embracing every facet of your personal expression, at all times. It is to exalt yourself to the highest point of self worth. It is to know that you are far more beautiful than any word could ever express.....Love is free, Love is all, Love is who you are. No limits, no boundaries, no restraints. Love is whole. Like a circle, Love is complete; yet Love is forever expanding........forever allowing.......forever free.........{tp}
Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 469 Location: Highlands of Scotland
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #4 on Jan 25, 2007, 8:07pm »
"Rest assured when you come to that place I will stand beside you" - that has to be the single most powerful sentence I have EVER read in my life. Wow.
I feel small humble and absolutely useless as a human being. I feel humbled down to the ground...there are tears streaming down my face. If ever words were designed to strike at the very core of one's beings, these are those words.
Thank you so very much for introducing us to this extraordinary person.
Joined: Jan 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1,722 Location: England
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #6 on Jun 12, 2007, 5:39pm »
May I bring these words to the attention of any new members on the site. Last time they had everyone in tears as his words are so powerful. God Bless you all
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #7 on Jun 13, 2007, 6:34am »
Captivating stuff Leon. Thanks for the introduction, ive never heard of him. Kind of books where you get to the end and by some small miracle hope more pages appear because you dont want it to end. I found that with Baird T Spaldings books, so what do you do when no more pages appear? read the whole 4 books + 2 follow ups over and over again. maybe I can give Baird a rest and wear out Paul's pages for awhile
Joined: May 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 198 Location: india
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #8 on Jun 13, 2007, 6:44pm »
Thank you leon...taht was...really....touching...and thot provoking.Was like looking into a mirror...and really seeing myself....hmmmmm....thanks!!!....god bless us all!!
Joined: Jan 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1,722 Location: England
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #9 on Nov 25, 2007, 11:24pm »
I seem to pull this post out every so often It is so powerful, I just want our new members to read Paul ferrini's words as they will truly touch you all.
Joined: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 24 Location: Duncan, Oklahoma
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #10 on Nov 26, 2007, 9:07pm »
I can't express enough how much this means to me, these words... My parents were exactly how this explains.. The wounds they feel, they were passed on to me it seems like.. my mother sees her downfalls and her shortcomings with raising me, but she has to understand that I am an individual person as well.. There are so many things I've learned from my mother, but there are things that she's learned from me also... Age difference doesn't matter, the unconditional love that surrounds all of our souls keeps us intact and keeps us together and connected... And I love my mother so very much for instilling the values she has in me.. Even though me and her may argue and fight a lot, most of it is conflicting ideals, and I would rather have a world where we could discuss and manage to make an amends to things than a world were everything was easy and handed to us..
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #12 on May 17, 2010, 3:42pm »
Love...unconditional and nonjudgemental....wonderful sentiments. We can not judge another for the way that they believe, or choose to express their beliefs....we do not know their journey. It is safe to know that they too are searching/on their own spiritual path, and hopefully love is a great part of it.....:)
Re: Love Without Conditions « Reply #13 on May 22, 2010, 6:39pm »
This is the most profound healing thing I have ever read. I am beyond gathering words to express it. Other then, somehow I came here today and this is exactly what prayed to understand. This is a blessing so divine for me today. Thank you for sharing this deep lesson. God Bless.
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